Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku # 65372, July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET
by Dirk Schlongstud
Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku # 65371, July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku # 65370, July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET
by Highlight of The evening
The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku # 65369, July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET
by Walking Funny of Boulevard
Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku # 65368, July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET
by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku # 65367, July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Transcendental Donald
I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65366, July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku # 65365, July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET
by Shart education of Shart 101
See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku # 65364, July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku # 65363, July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Nude
Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku # 65362, July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Trudging along of Porch
Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku # 65361, July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by And of Jerk off
Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku # 65360, July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku # 65359, July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET
by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku # 65358, July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET
by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku # 65357, July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku # 65356, July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku # 65355, July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku # 65354, July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku # 65353, July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET
by Sonny boy
I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku # 65352, July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET
by Person of In big trouble
He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku # 65351, July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku # 65350, July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku # 65349, July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku # 65348, July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku # 65347, July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku # 65346, July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET
by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku # 65345, July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by I see London of I see France
Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku # 65344, July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Immutability of Change
Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku # 65343, July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET
by New Holy Trinity
Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku # 65342, July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Immature ejaculation
Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65341, July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Waste of Time
Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku # 65340, July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Hardest part
Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
Haiku # 65339, July 16, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
Haiku # 65338, July 16, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
Haiku # 65337, July 16, 2019 6:08 am ET
by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
Haiku # 65336, July 16, 2019 4:11 am ET
by The struggle
Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
Haiku # 65335, July 16, 2019 4:09 am ET
by Saki overload
Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
Haiku # 65334, July 16, 2019 2:39 am ET
by Heidi
Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
Haiku # 65333, July 16, 2019 2:08 am ET
by Need input
Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
Haiku # 65332, July 16, 2019 12:38 am ET
by Master of Rhyme
Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
Haiku # 65331, July 15, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku # 65330, July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku # 65329, July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
Haiku # 65328, July 15, 2019 4:15 pm ET
by Not Guaranteed
a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku # 65327, July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku # 65326, July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET
by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku # 65325, July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America

Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65324, July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET
by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku # 65323, July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET
by Toby Edwards of London, UK
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