BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
5 Days
and
66431 Haikus
later...
Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku #65372, by Dirk Schlongstud
July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET

Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku #65371, by Drunk of Barstool
July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET

A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku #65370, by Highlight of The evening
July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET

The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku #65369, by Walking Funny of Boulevard
July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET

Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku #65368, by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET

Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku #65367, by Transcendental Donald
July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET

I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65366, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET

Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku #65365, by Shart education of Shart 101
July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET

See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku #65364, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET

Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku #65363, by Nude
July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET

Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku #65362, by Trudging along of Porch
July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku #65361, by And of Jerk off
July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET

Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku #65360, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET

Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku #65359, by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET

You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku #65358, by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET

In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku #65357, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET

Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku #65356, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET

"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku #65355, by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET

Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku #65354, by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET

All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku #65353, by Sonny boy
July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET

I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku #65352, by Person of In big trouble
July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET

He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku #65351, by Noticer of Details of Nearby
July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET

God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku #65350, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET

Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku #65349, by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET

Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku #65348, by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku #65347, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET

Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku #65346, by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET

Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku #65345, by I see London of I see France
July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET

Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku #65344, by Immutability of Change
July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET

Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku #65343, by New Holy Trinity
July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET

Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku #65342, by Immature ejaculation
July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET

Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65341, by Waste of Time
July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET

Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku #65340, by Hardest part
July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET

Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
Haiku #65339, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 10:31 pm ET

I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
Haiku #65338, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 6:37 pm ET

Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
Haiku #65337, by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
July 16, 2019 6:08 am ET

Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
Haiku #65336, by The struggle
July 16, 2019 4:11 am ET

Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
Haiku #65335, by Saki overload
July 16, 2019 4:09 am ET

Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
Haiku #65334, by Heidi
July 16, 2019 2:39 am ET

Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
Haiku #65333, by Need input
July 16, 2019 2:08 am ET

Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
Haiku #65332, by Master of Rhyme
July 16, 2019 12:38 am ET

Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
Haiku #65331, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 11:16 pm ET

Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku #65330, by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET

He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku #65329, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET

Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
Haiku #65328, by Not Guaranteed
July 15, 2019 4:15 pm ET

a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku #65327, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET

Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku #65326, by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET

Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku #65325, by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America
July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET


Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku #65324, by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET

Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku #65323, by Toby Edwards of London, UK
July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET