Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku # 65350, July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku # 65349, July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku # 65348, July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku # 65347, July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku # 65346, July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET
by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku # 65345, July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by I see London of I see France
Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku # 65344, July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Immutability of Change
Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku # 65343, July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET
by New Holy Trinity
Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku # 65342, July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Immature ejaculation
Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65341, July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Waste of Time
Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku # 65340, July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Hardest part
Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
Haiku # 65339, July 16, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
Haiku # 65338, July 16, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
Haiku # 65337, July 16, 2019 6:08 am ET
by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
Haiku # 65336, July 16, 2019 4:11 am ET
by The struggle
Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
Haiku # 65335, July 16, 2019 4:09 am ET
by Saki overload
Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
Haiku # 65334, July 16, 2019 2:39 am ET
by Heidi
Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
Haiku # 65333, July 16, 2019 2:08 am ET
by Need input
Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
Haiku # 65332, July 16, 2019 12:38 am ET
by Master of Rhyme
Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
Haiku # 65331, July 15, 2019 11:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku # 65330, July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET
by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku # 65329, July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grizzly bear stopper
A cast iron frying pan
Applied to the head
Haiku # 65328, July 15, 2019 4:15 pm ET
by Not Guaranteed
a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku # 65327, July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku # 65326, July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET
by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku # 65325, July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America

Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65324, July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET
by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku # 65323, July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET
by Toby Edwards of London, UK
No need to worry.
Sea cucumbers have no brain.
Just nerves and reflex.

Although it's rumored
some of them write poetry,
but won't admit it.
Haiku # 65322, July 15, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Sea cucumbers and star fish are closely related, fun fact.
Mister President:
Could you please be less racist?
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65321, July 15, 2019 8:14 am ET
by All the people of planet Earth
Feels good up my arse
Do sea cucumbers feel pain?
Certainly hope not
Haiku # 65320, July 15, 2019 2:00 am ET
by Jacques Itch
Call Richard Simmons
Feast your eyes upon this gut
Get outta my way!
Haiku # 65319, July 15, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Double Gut
So, what do you think.
Football should be played with swords.
And butt-assed naked.
Haiku # 65318, July 15, 2019 12:55 am ET
by Am I right or what?
Birds in gilded cage.
That's what Americans are.
I wish I was there.
Haiku # 65317, July 14, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Trolls have no freedom.
Slaves to their own obsession.
Which makes them funny.
Haiku # 65316, July 14, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like football.
And I did GTFO.
Not sure it was smart.
Haiku # 65315, July 14, 2019 6:49 am ET
by But at least I'm free.
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green backs!

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!

Get down on your knees
And thank God you were born here
Or GTFO!
Haiku # 65314, July 14, 2019 6:26 am ET
by Rolang of 7734
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green back

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
Haiku # 65313, July 14, 2019 6:21 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Noisy bastardo's
Barking fooking GD dogs
No muffler chit cars

yowling stupid chit
Slamming fooking condo doors
Running power tools

American clods
Making noise like circus seals
Please shut the fuck up
Haiku # 65312, July 14, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Treasure your fat wife
And tell that other poet
To stop cry whining
Haiku # 65311, July 14, 2019 3:30 am ET
by Advice
What is religion?
God almighty obsession
Can quit any time
Haiku # 65310, July 13, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Stalking Jeezus
What a vile dimwit:
projecting your obsessions
on the rest of us.
Haiku # 65309, July 13, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Be Saved or Be Damned
My brethren poets.
Always lend a helping hand.
Inspirational!
Haiku # 65308, July 13, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Which nose doth thou blow?
Up above or down below?
I might be of help
Haiku # 65307, July 13, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Helpful
We can put a man
on the moon but we cannot
write a good haiku.

A head full of snot.
Feeling weak and itchy throat.
Damn I hate the flu.
Haiku # 65306, July 13, 2019 6:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your weekend update
No plans for the evening. ..Sigh
This zit ruined my life!
Haiku # 65305, July 13, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by Too embarrassed to say of Hiding
Such an awesome time
Nude rollerblading all day
American Tour
Haiku # 65304, July 13, 2019 1:40 am ET
by All 50 states of Will see my rear end
The high diving board
Is it dangerous to dive
With an erection

Overcooked hot dogs
Sometimes split down the middle
Quite frankly, I m scared
Haiku # 65303, July 13, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Frank of Pool
lmao
Haiku # 65302, July 12, 2019 10:42 pm ET
by vhs of you are an inconvenience!
Your lame poetry
makes me hate myself much less.
Thank God I'm not you!
Haiku # 65301, July 12, 2019 10:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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