Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

a very strange man
argues loudly with himself;
hasn't bathed this month.
Haiku # 65327, July 15, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Evil Orange Drumpf--
He's literally Hitler,
but much much much WORSE.
Haiku # 65326, July 15, 2019 10:14 am ET
by That's Why 4 More Years of Trump Derangement for You
Dear Liberal nut-case:
Your fatal error is this . . .
Trump is popular!
Haiku # 65325, July 15, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Metrosexual Victimology of Flyover America

Lefty Progressives:
Could you please stop projecting?
We don't think like you.
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65324, July 15, 2019 10:02 am ET
by Half of the U.S. Population of Cheeto Hitler 2020
Lost a contact lens
At the swimming pool. Found it!
Oh no. Verruca.
Haiku # 65323, July 15, 2019 9:50 am ET
by Toby Edwards of London, UK
No need to worry.
Sea cucumbers have no brain.
Just nerves and reflex.

Although it's rumored
some of them write poetry,
but won't admit it.
Haiku # 65322, July 15, 2019 8:57 am ET
by Sea cucumbers and star fish are closely related, fun fact.
Mister President:
Could you please be less racist?
And not such a prick?
Haiku # 65321, July 15, 2019 8:14 am ET
by All the people of planet Earth
Feels good up my arse
Do sea cucumbers feel pain?
Certainly hope not
Haiku # 65320, July 15, 2019 2:00 am ET
by Jacques Itch
Call Richard Simmons
Feast your eyes upon this gut
Get outta my way!
Haiku # 65319, July 15, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Double Gut
So, what do you think.
Football should be played with swords.
And butt-assed naked.
Haiku # 65318, July 15, 2019 12:55 am ET
by Am I right or what?
Birds in gilded cage.
That's what Americans are.
I wish I was there.
Haiku # 65317, July 14, 2019 10:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Trolls have no freedom.
Slaves to their own obsession.
Which makes them funny.
Haiku # 65316, July 14, 2019 10:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like football.
And I did GTFO.
Not sure it was smart.
Haiku # 65315, July 14, 2019 6:49 am ET
by But at least I'm free.
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green backs!

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!

Get down on your knees
And thank God you were born here
Or GTFO!
Haiku # 65314, July 14, 2019 6:26 am ET
by Rolang of 7734
Your paid big money
To chase a fooking foot ball
Millions of green back

But you are oppressed
And hate America
Cry baby @$$ hat!
Haiku # 65313, July 14, 2019 6:21 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Noisy bastardo's
Barking fooking GD dogs
No muffler chit cars

yowling stupid chit
Slamming fooking condo doors
Running power tools

American clods
Making noise like circus seals
Please shut the fuck up
Haiku # 65312, July 14, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Rolang of howthehellIknow
Treasure your fat wife
And tell that other poet
To stop cry whining
Haiku # 65311, July 14, 2019 3:30 am ET
by Advice
What is religion?
God almighty obsession
Can quit any time
Haiku # 65310, July 13, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Stalking Jeezus
What a vile dimwit:
projecting your obsessions
on the rest of us.
Haiku # 65309, July 13, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Be Saved or Be Damned
My brethren poets.
Always lend a helping hand.
Inspirational!
Haiku # 65308, July 13, 2019 9:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Which nose doth thou blow?
Up above or down below?
I might be of help
Haiku # 65307, July 13, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Helpful
We can put a man
on the moon but we cannot
write a good haiku.

A head full of snot.
Feeling weak and itchy throat.
Damn I hate the flu.
Haiku # 65306, July 13, 2019 6:05 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your weekend update
No plans for the evening. ..Sigh
This zit ruined my life!
Haiku # 65305, July 13, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by Too embarrassed to say of Hiding
Such an awesome time
Nude rollerblading all day
American Tour
Haiku # 65304, July 13, 2019 1:40 am ET
by All 50 states of Will see my rear end
The high diving board
Is it dangerous to dive
With an erection

Overcooked hot dogs
Sometimes split down the middle
Quite frankly, I m scared
Haiku # 65303, July 13, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Frank of Pool
lmao
Haiku # 65302, July 12, 2019 10:42 pm ET
by vhs of you are an inconvenience!
Your lame poetry
makes me hate myself much less.
Thank God I'm not you!
Haiku # 65301, July 12, 2019 10:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Adolph Hitler called.
Yep, a collect call from hell.
He said I'm evil.
Haiku # 65300, July 12, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Holding YOUR photo
Jizzing on your bad poems
Why my pants are down
Haiku # 65299, July 12, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by Grandpa of Porch glider
Grandpa's pants are down
for YOU, every time, it seems.
Is that why you're nuts?
Haiku # 65298, July 12, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Extended Family Values of the Condemned
Next time God smotes ya
Look up in the sky and ask
Fuck s your problem,Dude?
Haiku # 65297, July 12, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Created of In his gnarly image
Every single time
I go to visit Grandpa
He s got his pants down
Haiku # 65296, July 12, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by Ding Dong of Door
another day goes
by, I am still here, and the
time comes when i go.
Haiku # 65295, July 12, 2019 8:01 pm ET
by vhs
Popular Science
Gross! Pages stuck together..
Poetry Robot
Haiku # 65294, July 12, 2019 1:22 pm ET
by Look into my eyes
Oh Redundant One
Let me help you hate yourself
in perfect Haiku
Haiku # 65293, July 12, 2019 9:28 am ET
by Haiku Intervention for Free
I think I need some goddamn waves... seriously.
Damn the fat wife and family... they are better off without me. I need to be eaten by a great white or bash out what little is left of my brain on a reef... fucking waves punish me over and over, pummeling, pounding, humiliating me and I love them more than life itself, goddamn it and I cannot deny what I am, just downright rotten bastard piece of selfish shit and I offer no apologies. I know what I need. Fuck. I hate myself, but that's okay.
Haiku # 65292, July 12, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I know about rage.
I've come to quite enjoy it.
Therefore I am Darth.

Sadly, there's no Force.
If there were, I'd be like God.
Rage, hatred, and greed.

I've become evil.
And I do not regret it.
I am a monster.

Too many wedgies
I'd gotten in middle school.
Oh the tragedy.
Haiku # 65291, July 12, 2019 3:38 am ET
by True evil is born, not made. of LOL and all that.
no rest for the wicked
evil thoughts consume me for
eternity becons my spirit

to hellfire, just my luck
im thrown i to the frying
pan instead at work
Haiku # 65290, July 12, 2019 3:31 am ET
by vhs
why cannot todats
youth just shut the fuck up and
enjoy the coachella

air and the transgender fetish
futa all that, thats all it is
wear a skirt, get the girl
Haiku # 65289, July 12, 2019 3:29 am ET
by vhs
i want to let go
of the past my undereyes
black with the weight

of percieved failure
yearsnhere busted dead or
alive my own fault
Haiku # 65288, July 12, 2019 3:28 am ET
by vhs
there are professors
i still feel rage at, long gone
i wanted to just

enjoy art, i stll
want to give the long dead a
boot to the rear end
Haiku # 65287, July 12, 2019 3:26 am ET
by vhs
restless these four walls
restless yesterday writing
is a sickness yes

this is the pus, the
poison, the infection comes
out on these pages
Haiku # 65286, July 12, 2019 3:24 am ET
by vhs
a wall of ice and
more ice builds up inside i
literal zombie
Haiku # 65285, July 12, 2019 3:22 am ET
by vhs
i cannot sleep, i
had no rest over this place on
yesterday...goodbye
Haiku # 65284, July 12, 2019 3:14 am ET
by vhs
just shut up they said
shrugs, it became no fun when
he just kept going
Haiku # 65283, July 12, 2019 3:12 am ET
by vhs
some dsy we will all
realize weve forgotten of
these places, and

we play chess at noon
at the coffee house, say screw
the evil liberal menace

to the barrista
oh thats just vhs
Haiku # 65282, July 12, 2019 3:11 am ET
by vhs
i get wound up and
i am rough on myself now
imagine putting

interbalizing this stuff
in real life at work, thinking
overthing, indigestion
Haiku # 65281, July 12, 2019 3:09 am ET
by vhs
just i cant quite sleep
at not quite an old age but
not young anymore
Haiku # 65280, July 12, 2019 3:07 am ET
by vhs
i dont think you want
to know why i have been up
blood in the sheets then

not much. just you know
what if i turn into someone
who really talks about

injuries, but this
was from the gym, pulled a
shoulder, hemmeroids

im getting older
and fuck the new green desl
farying cows? i pray

for that lady
Haiku # 65279, July 12, 2019 3:04 am ET
by vhs
people would know i
was gone but theyd no idea
it was this old place

there is joy in things
left behind when a troll
devours itself

we have all been one
the dreamers, the self harm
shove the wine bottle

up 'his' ass, art

painted in toxic words

that have no meaning behind wslls
Haiku # 65278, July 12, 2019 3:02 am ET
by vhs
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >