BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
241 Days
and
67704 Haikus
later...
Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku #65378, by The Gizzard of Oz
July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET

Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku #65377, by I scream of You scream
July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET

Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku #65376, by Mangia of Table
July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET

Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku #65375, by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET

A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
Haiku #65374, by Running of Park
July 21, 2019 2:48 am ET

Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
Haiku #65373, by Brown Moan of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 2:45 am ET

Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku #65372, by Dirk Schlongstud
July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET

Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku #65371, by Drunk of Barstool
July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET

A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku #65370, by Highlight of The evening
July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET

The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku #65369, by Walking Funny of Boulevard
July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET

Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku #65368, by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET

Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku #65367, by Transcendental Donald
July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET

I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65366, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET

Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku #65365, by Shart education of Shart 101
July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET

See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku #65364, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET

Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku #65363, by Nude
July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET

Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku #65362, by Trudging along of Porch
July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku #65361, by And of Jerk off
July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET

Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku #65360, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET

Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku #65359, by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET

You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku #65358, by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET

In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku #65357, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET

Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku #65356, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET

"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku #65355, by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET

Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku #65354, by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET

All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku #65353, by Sonny boy
July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET

I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku #65352, by Person of In big trouble
July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET

He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku #65351, by Noticer of Details of Nearby
July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET

God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku #65350, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET

Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku #65349, by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET

Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku #65348, by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku #65347, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET

Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku #65346, by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET

Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku #65345, by I see London of I see France
July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET

Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku #65344, by Immutability of Change
July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET

Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku #65343, by New Holy Trinity
July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET

Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku #65342, by Immature ejaculation
July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET

Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65341, by Waste of Time
July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET

Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku #65340, by Hardest part
July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET

Religion is dead.
God does not deserve to live.
Worship your cellphones.
Haiku #65339, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 10:31 pm ET

I've got a headache.
Ibuprofen did no good.
I need a hooker.
Haiku #65338, by Anonymous Poet
July 16, 2019 6:37 pm ET

Hot bicycle seat
My shriveled penis flops down
Like a tired old dog
Haiku #65337, by Dog days of summer of Man's best friend
July 16, 2019 6:08 am ET

Tuesday underwear
Not yet insulted by stains
Monday ones are shot
Haiku #65336, by The struggle
July 16, 2019 4:11 am ET

Under bent willow
Drunk father in law passed out
A good example
Haiku #65335, by Saki overload
July 16, 2019 4:09 am ET

Cheerleading tryouts
This zit is ruining my life!
So inconvenient
Haiku #65334, by Heidi
July 16, 2019 2:39 am ET

Monday underwear
Should I wash them or toss them?
Or wear one more day?
Haiku #65333, by Need input
July 16, 2019 2:08 am ET

Your an big dumb shit
Stoopid stinkee idiot
Cum lick my armpit
Haiku #65332, by Master of Rhyme
July 16, 2019 12:38 am ET

Can honestly say
Your haiku is the worstest
I have ever smelled
Haiku #65331, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 11:16 pm ET

Under construction
New house shaped like a penis
Realistic veins
Haiku #65330, by 3 bedroom dink of Cul de sac
July 15, 2019 9:13 pm ET

He snotted the walk.
Blocked one side of noz and blew.
Proper slimed the pave.

Unwary walkers
nearly busted their noggins
slipping all about.

Quite a crust it left
as it dried in the hot sun.
Ants gathered to feast.
Haiku #65329, by Anonymous Poet
July 15, 2019 4:59 pm ET