Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Better to barter
Clean my house, get a blow job
From my Doberman
Haiku # 65428, July 26, 2019 10:45 pm ET
by Win of Win
Dealing with the coins,
the wind takes your dollar bills.
Cunt shit fuck piss whore!
Haiku # 65427, July 26, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by And I have to laugh.
I beg to differ.
Neither my nor my cat's ass
has a bad odor.

Asian girls wash me.
Nineteen year old prostitutes.
I pay them in rice.

My cat, however,
she has to wash her own ass.
I feed her dog stew.

Well, my leftovers.
Dog meat tastes just like lean beef.
You would never know.
Haiku # 65426, July 26, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by df
Hey, what do ya mean
Nothing ever comes from this?
I just blew my wad
Haiku # 65425, July 26, 2019 10:00 am ET
by E. Jack of Radiator Springs
Smiling pleasantly
As I hand Darth a washcloth
Please go wash your ass
Haiku # 65424, July 26, 2019 7:13 am ET
by Board of Health of Hazmat suit
Stinky Ass Challenge
Who s got the stinkiest ass?
Me, You or your cat?
Haiku # 65423, July 26, 2019 7:10 am ET
by Cat of Roast beef ass
Been hearing voices
Arguing inside my head
Wait, that s my asshole
Haiku # 65422, July 26, 2019 7:08 am ET
by Nevermind of It was just a fart
Pants marionette
Just call him Howdy Doody
It s a hand puppet
Haiku # 65421, July 26, 2019 4:29 am ET
by Jack of Your box
Figpucker s clean taint
Mythbusters proved it s a myth
It ain t clean at all
Haiku # 65420, July 26, 2019 4:26 am ET
by Spore of Attic
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt Cunt Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku # 65419, July 25, 2019 11:35 pm ET
by Important memo of Don t chant USA USA
Why wait for cancer?
Your sins will be washed away
Your ass will still stink
Haiku # 65418, July 25, 2019 11:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You re nobody til Jizzumbody loves you
Haiku # 65417, July 25, 2019 11:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If I had cancer
I'd shoot those who post selfies
and pics of their lunch.
Haiku # 65416, July 25, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Darth Angryboy
So I wrote a song.
It's my take on "Tainted Love".
I call it "Loved Taint".
Haiku # 65415, July 25, 2019 10:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Such a waste of time
Nothing ever comes from this
It is tome to go
Haiku # 65414, July 25, 2019 10:29 pm ET
by Bye, bye assholes
They chant decide now!
It's not easy being green!
Unison, be gay!
Haiku # 65413, July 25, 2019 4:04 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
your eyes caught mine, I
knew we were undone, exposed.
She said, "He needs you".
Haiku # 65412, July 25, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Marriage is like wine;
Smooth, silky, brazen, bright, big!
Oh,Cassis of souls...
Haiku # 65411, July 25, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
I'd go to the end,
beginning and back again.
Just to taste your skin.
Haiku # 65410, July 25, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Ali Holmes Sparring
Like Mar(ch) Valley Girl titans
All is loss, yet love
Haiku # 65409, July 25, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Nuke it from orbit
The only way to be sure
That's what I would do
Haiku # 65408, July 25, 2019 2:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I finished wiping
Why does poop keep coming out?
Wait, that s your ass
Haiku # 65407, July 25, 2019 1:40 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Trudging along
Down here on the floor
With the crumbs and the dog hairs
Hey, I found ten bucks
Haiku # 65406, July 25, 2019 1:31 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian of Nerd Section
The wing of the plane
All cramped up in the wheel well
Bad places to wank
Haiku # 65405, July 25, 2019 8:30 am ET
by Frequent Flyer of I buy my penis its own seat in First Class
please rename this site:
"The Excrescences of Darth"
just to keep it real.
Haiku # 65404, July 25, 2019 8:12 am ET
by Sick Bag of Puke Flight
Save room for dinner
That said, Gramps undid his fly.
Rang the dinner bell
Haiku # 65403, July 25, 2019 6:11 am ET
by Sloppy Joe of Porch glider
Don't know about him.
Often splattered Starbucks' john.
Drips down in your hair.
Haiku # 65402, July 25, 2019 5:16 am ET
by
Vacuous strumpets.
Communication device.
"This is what I ate."
Haiku # 65401, July 25, 2019 5:11 am ET
by
Michelangelo
Do you think he ever wanked
Up on the ceiling
Haiku # 65400, July 25, 2019 5:00 am ET
by Jizzumberto of Clitaly
All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
Haiku # 65399, July 25, 2019 4:42 am ET
by Big Blessing of Bedspread
I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
Haiku # 65398, July 25, 2019 4:11 am ET
by Mistaken identity
Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
Haiku # 65397, July 25, 2019 2:11 am ET
by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
Haiku # 65396, July 23, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by What's YOUR hps?
Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
Haiku # 65395, July 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET
by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
Haiku # 65394, July 23, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Loosely Goosey
Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.

Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
Haiku # 65393, July 23, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
Haiku # 65392, July 23, 2019 4:33 am ET
by vhs
Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
Haiku # 65391, July 23, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
Haiku # 65390, July 23, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku # 65389, July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku # 65388, July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku # 65387, July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Star Trek Historian
Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku # 65386, July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku # 65385, July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku # 65384, July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku # 65383, July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku # 65382, July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Ishkabibble of Barn
Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku # 65381, July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku # 65380, July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Drive thru
Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku # 65379, July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Trudging along of Here
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