BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
0 Days
and
66396 Haikus
later...
Smiling pleasantly
As I hand Darth a washcloth
Please go wash your ass
Haiku #65424, by Board of Health of Hazmat suit
July 26, 2019 7:13 am ET

Stinky Ass Challenge
Who s got the stinkiest ass?
Me, You or your cat?
Haiku #65423, by Cat of Roast beef ass
July 26, 2019 7:10 am ET

Been hearing voices
Arguing inside my head
Wait, that s my asshole
Haiku #65422, by Nevermind of It was just a fart
July 26, 2019 7:08 am ET

Pants marionette
Just call him Howdy Doody
It s a hand puppet
Haiku #65421, by Jack of Your box
July 26, 2019 4:29 am ET

Figpucker s clean taint
Mythbusters proved it s a myth
It ain t clean at all
Haiku #65420, by Spore of Attic
July 26, 2019 4:26 am ET

Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt Cunt Cunt
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Haiku #65419, by Important memo of Don t chant USA USA
July 25, 2019 11:35 pm ET

Why wait for cancer?
Your sins will be washed away
Your ass will still stink
Haiku #65418, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2019 11:32 pm ET

You re nobody til Jizzumbody loves you
Haiku #65417, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2019 11:28 pm ET

If I had cancer
I'd shoot those who post selfies
and pics of their lunch.
Haiku #65416, by Darth Angryboy
July 25, 2019 11:25 pm ET

So I wrote a song.
It's my take on "Tainted Love".
I call it "Loved Taint".
Haiku #65415, by Darth Figpucker
July 25, 2019 10:58 pm ET

Such a waste of time
Nothing ever comes from this
It is tome to go
Haiku #65414, by Bye, bye assholes
July 25, 2019 10:29 pm ET

They chant decide now!
It's not easy being green!
Unison, be gay!
Haiku #65413, by Ledge of Kentucky
July 25, 2019 4:04 pm ET

your eyes caught mine, I
knew we were undone, exposed.
She said, "He needs you".
Haiku #65412, by Ledge of Kentucky
July 25, 2019 3:56 pm ET

Marriage is like wine;
Smooth, silky, brazen, bright, big!
Oh,Cassis of souls...
Haiku #65411, by Ledge of Kentucky
July 25, 2019 3:53 pm ET

I'd go to the end,
beginning and back again.
Just to taste your skin.
Haiku #65410, by Ledge of Kentucky
July 25, 2019 3:45 pm ET

Ali Holmes Sparring
Like Mar(ch) Valley Girl titans
All is loss, yet love
Haiku #65409, by Ledge of Kentucky
July 25, 2019 3:39 pm ET

Nuke it from orbit
The only way to be sure
That's what I would do
Haiku #65408, by Anonymous Poet
July 25, 2019 2:29 pm ET

I finished wiping
Why does poop keep coming out?
Wait, that s your ass
Haiku #65407, by Walkin Funny of Trudging along
July 25, 2019 1:40 pm ET

Down here on the floor
With the crumbs and the dog hairs
Hey, I found ten bucks
Haiku #65406, by Star Trek Historian of Nerd Section
July 25, 2019 1:31 pm ET

The wing of the plane
All cramped up in the wheel well
Bad places to wank
Haiku #65405, by Frequent Flyer of I buy my penis its own seat in First Class
July 25, 2019 8:30 am ET

please rename this site:
"The Excrescences of Darth"
just to keep it real.
Haiku #65404, by Sick Bag of Puke Flight
July 25, 2019 8:12 am ET

Save room for dinner
That said, Gramps undid his fly.
Rang the dinner bell
Haiku #65403, by Sloppy Joe of Porch glider
July 25, 2019 6:11 am ET

Don't know about him.
Often splattered Starbucks' john.
Drips down in your hair.
Haiku #65402, by
July 25, 2019 5:16 am ET

Vacuous strumpets.
Communication device.
"This is what I ate."
Haiku #65401, by
July 25, 2019 5:11 am ET

Michelangelo
Do you think he ever wanked
Up on the ceiling
Haiku #65400, by Jizzumberto of Clitaly
July 25, 2019 5:00 am ET

All the lights are on
But there ain t nobody home
My penis is huge
Haiku #65399, by Big Blessing of Bedspread
July 25, 2019 4:42 am ET

I apologize
I thought she was your mother
Bitches look alike
Haiku #65398, by Mistaken identity
July 25, 2019 4:11 am ET

Asking for a friend
Are dingleberries healthy?
They pair well with cheese
Haiku #65397, by Chuckie Cheeze of Unda
July 25, 2019 2:11 am ET

Shit I meant to say not Butthead. Beavis goes heh heh heh heh and Butthead goes huh huh huh huh huh. Elmer Fudd has a much higher rate of huhs per second than Butthead though.
Haiku #65396, by What's YOUR hps?
July 23, 2019 7:12 pm ET

Cunt punt runt bundt cake.
With a shovel or a rake.
Get all you can take.
Haiku #65395, by Shhhh.... be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting cunt. Huh huh huh huh huh huh. of That's Elmer Fudd, not Beavis.
July 23, 2019 7:09 pm ET

Living my best life
Eating everything in sight
Farting left and right
Haiku #65394, by Loosely Goosey
July 23, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Okay, I'll tell you,
It's the long chain aldehydes.
Delicious cancer.

Secret formula.
Dr. Jekyll / aldehyde.
Murder for smoked Swiss.
Haiku #65393, by Darrrrth... RAWARRSALARAALLLAWWRRRRRRRR
July 23, 2019 6:46 am ET

a friend asked why is
smoked cheese so damn good, its just
bloody well tasty?
Haiku #65392, by vhs
July 23, 2019 4:33 am ET

Really fun to watch
Slipping on banana peels
It never gets old
Haiku #65391, by Law offices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
July 23, 2019 1:55 am ET

Poem half way done
Sudden urge to defecate
Which one will choose?
Haiku #65390, by Is this food poisoning of Churning guts
July 23, 2019 1:53 am ET

Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku #65389, by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET

Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku #65388, by Anonymous Poet
July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET

After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku #65387, by Star Trek Historian
July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET

Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku #65386, by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET

No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku #65385, by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET

Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku #65384, by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET

My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku #65383, by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET

Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku #65382, by Ishkabibble of Barn
July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET

Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku #65381, by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET

McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku #65380, by Sausage dink of Drive thru
July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET

Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku #65379, by Trudging along of Here
July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET

Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku #65378, by The Gizzard of Oz
July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET

Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku #65377, by I scream of You scream
July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET

Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku #65376, by Mangia of Table
July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET

Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku #65375, by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET