Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku # 65389, July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku # 65388, July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku # 65387, July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET
by Star Trek Historian
Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku # 65386, July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET
by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku # 65385, July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku # 65384, July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET
by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku # 65383, July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku # 65382, July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET
by Ishkabibble of Barn
Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku # 65381, July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku # 65380, July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Drive thru
Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku # 65379, July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by Trudging along of Here
Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku # 65378, July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by The Gizzard of Oz
Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku # 65377, July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET
by I scream of You scream
Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku # 65376, July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET
by Mangia of Table
Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku # 65375, July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET
by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
Haiku # 65374, July 21, 2019 2:48 am ET
by Running of Park
Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
Haiku # 65373, July 21, 2019 2:45 am ET
by Brown Moan of Under old willow
Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku # 65372, July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET
by Dirk Schlongstud
Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku # 65371, July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku # 65370, July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET
by Highlight of The evening
The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku # 65369, July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET
by Walking Funny of Boulevard
Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku # 65368, July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET
by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku # 65367, July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Transcendental Donald
I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65366, July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku # 65365, July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET
by Shart education of Shart 101
See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku # 65364, July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku # 65363, July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Nude
Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku # 65362, July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Trudging along of Porch
Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku # 65361, July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by And of Jerk off
Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku # 65360, July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku # 65359, July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET
by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku # 65358, July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET
by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku # 65357, July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku # 65356, July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku # 65355, July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku # 65354, July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku # 65353, July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET
by Sonny boy
I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku # 65352, July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET
by Person of In big trouble
He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku # 65351, July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Nearby
God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku # 65350, July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku # 65349, July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku # 65348, July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku # 65347, July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku # 65346, July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET
by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku # 65345, July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET
by I see London of I see France
Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku # 65344, July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET
by Immutability of Change
Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku # 65343, July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET
by New Holy Trinity
Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku # 65342, July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Immature ejaculation
Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku # 65341, July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Waste of Time
Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku # 65340, July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET
by Hardest part
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