BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66190 Haikus
later...
Those hot summer nights
Too bad we ran out of lube
Salad dressing sucks
Haiku #65389, by Fresh Prince of Newark of NJ
July 23, 2019 12:05 am ET

Don't dance without pants
Nobody wants to see that
Unless you look hot
Haiku #65388, by Anonymous Poet
July 22, 2019 11:13 pm ET

After the wife left
I stopped bathing and shaving
Are over the sink
Haiku #65387, by Star Trek Historian
July 22, 2019 7:14 am ET

Blown off the hinges
Steel lavatory stall door
Room without a roof
Haiku #65386, by Phartsmell Williams of Happy
July 22, 2019 12:28 am ET

No underwear left
Should not have eaten popcorn
Now it s Jiffy Poop
Haiku #65385, by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
July 22, 2019 12:25 am ET

Relationship woes.
Facebook cries for attention.
Shit-stained undies view.
Haiku #65384, by it's a good idea to inspect the dirty laundry before you sniff it.
July 21, 2019 10:49 pm ET

My cock is so small
mice use it for a toothpick.
But, hey, it feels good.
Haiku #65383, by Free blowjob, cheese and peanut butter.
July 21, 2019 10:46 pm ET

Commando square dance
Swing your partner round and round
You got crab lice now
Haiku #65382, by Ishkabibble of Barn
July 21, 2019 10:32 pm ET

Are you in 8th grade?
Or are you just retarded?
Ass burgers syndrome?
Haiku #65381, by Concerned citizen. of Stay away from my daughter!
July 21, 2019 8:29 pm ET

McJesus McChrist!
McSaving you from McSin!
McPraise the McLord!
Haiku #65380, by Sausage dink of Drive thru
July 21, 2019 7:42 pm ET

Microwave oven
Jesus Christ didn t need one
And neither do you
Haiku #65379, by Trudging along of Here
July 21, 2019 7:37 pm ET

Cream of Something soup
You can make it with your poop
Or use your dink goop
Haiku #65378, by The Gizzard of Oz
July 21, 2019 6:25 pm ET

Missing syllable
From the previous haiku
One very long scream


I
Haiku #65377, by I scream of You scream
July 21, 2019 2:24 pm ET

Human being stew
Ears, toes, fingers and dinks
Hair caught in my teeth
Haiku #65376, by Mangia of Table
July 21, 2019 2:20 pm ET

Under old willow
Used your balls for a pillow
Jiggly as Jello
Haiku #65375, by Hitachi Wandsworth Shortfellow of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 3:39 am ET

A creepy feeling
When I walked past the statue
And then it farted
Haiku #65374, by Running of Park
July 21, 2019 2:48 am ET

Predict the future
By looking in the toilet
A shitty outlook
Haiku #65373, by Brown Moan of Under old willow
July 21, 2019 2:45 am ET

Amazing implants.
Titanium ball bearings.
They enjoy my shaft.
Haiku #65372, by Dirk Schlongstud
July 21, 2019 2:22 am ET

Sober companion
Jesus take the wheel tonight
Please lay off the wine
Haiku #65371, by Drunk of Barstool
July 21, 2019 12:01 am ET

A hooker farted
When giving me a blowjob
Then blamed me for it
Haiku #65370, by Highlight of The evening
July 20, 2019 10:19 am ET

The diagnosis
Complex terminology
Sir,you have crotch rot
Haiku #65369, by Walking Funny of Boulevard
July 20, 2019 8:47 am ET

Removed the bagel
Implanted in my forehead
Next, English muffin
Haiku #65368, by Thomas of Nooks and Crannies
July 20, 2019 8:42 am ET

Orange president:
bow and worship him in awe
(Buddha of your life)
Haiku #65367, by Transcendental Donald
July 20, 2019 7:11 am ET

I will not thank you
I would much rather spank you
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65366, by Anonymous Poet
July 20, 2019 2:17 am ET

Dressing room mirror
Do these pants make me look fat?
Oops I just sharted
Haiku #65365, by Shart education of Shart 101
July 20, 2019 1:19 am ET

See what I did there?
Made a troll look in the mirror
And he went away
Haiku #65364, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back? of You may thank me now
July 20, 2019 12:59 am ET

Sixty four degrees
My favorite temperature
Thought you d like to know
Haiku #65363, by Nude
July 19, 2019 9:33 pm ET

Traveling salesmen
Showing housewives their big dinks
Business is booming
Haiku #65362, by Trudging along of Porch
July 19, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Come on, admit it
When you think no one s looking
You read my haikus
Haiku #65361, by And of Jerk off
July 19, 2019 6:46 pm ET

Oh but I know you...
Marshmallow....so soft and white
Empty calories
Haiku #65360, by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
July 19, 2019 5:28 pm ET

Missed a spot for sure
Huge bright orange piece of dung
In ill fitting suit
Haiku #65359, by You voted for him of That speaks for itself
July 19, 2019 2:45 pm ET

You personify
Redundancy and dullness.
Glad to not know you.
Haiku #65358, by Coleridge Wordsworth of Romance and Revolution
July 19, 2019 12:46 pm ET

In Trump tower? Hmmmm
Probably cleaning toilets
Hey, you missed a spot
Haiku #65357, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:32 pm ET

Let me sing for you....
Feeeelings, woah woah woah feelings...
Now I feel better
Haiku #65356, by Anonymous Poet
July 19, 2019 12:13 pm ET

"Farts, pee, eating twat,
Eff God/Allah/Buddha/Christ,
Your haiku are dull."
Haiku #65355, by Redundant Nancy. of Trump Tower penthouse suite. No, really.
July 19, 2019 7:58 am ET

Did George Washington
Remove his gross wooden teeth
For cunnilingus?
Haiku #65354, by Splendid Splinter of Outhouse
July 19, 2019 5:40 am ET

All the windows up
That s when Grandfather lets wind
Sputtering along
Haiku #65353, by Sonny boy
July 19, 2019 4:35 am ET

I m in big trouble
What do you think I should do?
I need your advice
Haiku #65352, by Person of In big trouble
July 18, 2019 2:20 am ET

He's no longer he
Since he has become a she
Now he sits to pee
Haiku #65351, by Noticer of Details of Nearby
July 17, 2019 8:38 pm ET

God sucks Allah's dick
I could draw you a picture
But that would be wrong
Haiku #65350, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 8:20 pm ET

Like an episode
Little House on the Prairie
Michael Landon s dink
Haiku #65349, by Cruzin Covered Wagon of Of Cunnilingus
July 17, 2019 7:47 pm ET

Fire thy physician
Take matters in your own mouth
Suck out the poison
Haiku #65348, by Dr. Dandydink of Under old willow
July 17, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Azithromycin.
Eradicates testy germs.
Vacate my testes!
Haiku #65347, by Anonymous Poet
July 17, 2019 4:06 pm ET

Snow cones made
from pee
Thick ejaculate milkshakes
Chewy fecal fudge
Haiku #65346, by Kaka Kafe of Now Open
July 17, 2019 1:55 pm ET

Wednesday underwear
Did Jesus go commando?
Share your thoughts on this
Haiku #65345, by I see London of I see France
July 17, 2019 1:44 pm ET

Only God could change
a broken record like you.
And we hope He does...
Haiku #65344, by Immutability of Change
July 17, 2019 12:11 pm ET

Tom Bosley s anus
Brian Wilson s depressed taint
John Boy Walton s Mole
Haiku #65343, by New Holy Trinity
July 17, 2019 8:59 am ET

Viagra!!! That's good!
Hell, I inject salt peter
to keep from nutting.

Boners -- no problem!
Spooging my pants in light breeze,
well, embarrassing.

I jack it three times
every morning or else
I'm hard all damn day.

I would be in porn
if only it weren't so small.
Damn thou, cruel fates!
Haiku #65342, by Immature ejaculation
July 17, 2019 3:45 am ET

Are angels sexy?
Like Charlie's angels sexy?
Tom Bosley's anus
Haiku #65341, by Waste of Time
July 17, 2019 1:16 am ET

Footsteps in the hall
Time for your medication
Here s your Viagra, Darth
Haiku #65340, by Hardest part
July 16, 2019 11:51 pm ET