BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
341 Days
66228 Haikus
Haiku #65480, by throw those fags out the window!
August 3, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.
Haiku #65479, by BroMany thanks to our sponsors: General Electric, Exxon, and the Charlie Manson Foundation. of San Diego Opera Scenic Studio
August 3, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Make it hurt so good
Said John Cougar Menstrualcramp
Blood on the scarecrow
Haiku #65478, by If I only had a brain of Red brick road
August 3, 2019 5:08 am ET

Help me pop my cyst.
It's right under my nut sack.
Oh, you're sooo boring!

Real men love cyst pus.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You are so damn dull!

So are your haiku.
Stinky grandma twat curtains.
See, that's a poem!
Haiku #65477, by Funt Cart! The most awesome poet in the world!
August 2, 2019 8:46 am ET

You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.

Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.
Haiku #65476, by
August 1, 2019 11:04 pm ET

I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.

I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.
Haiku #65475, by
August 1, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so
Haiku #65474, by This site fuckin sucks
August 1, 2019 10:55 pm ET

Chop off your penis.
Dice it and cook it in soup.
Serve it for dinner.

After they eat it,
let them know what they just ate.
Laugh in your wife's face.

"That is the last time
you will ever get my dick!
I am happy now!"
Haiku #65473, by President Donald Trump of No, seriously.
August 1, 2019 10:42 pm ET

Express the given function using window and step functions and compute its Laplace transform.
Haiku #65472, by
August 1, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Trapping and fucking
wild boars is no easy task.
KY jelly helps.
Haiku #65471, by Cue Deliverance theme song. of Squeal, little piggie, squeal for daddy.
August 1, 2019 7:03 pm ET

Who is more boring,
the bore or the copycat?
You make meth-heads yawn.

Work in surgery.
You're drug-free anesthesia.
Side effect, bad taste.
Haiku #65470, by df of Fuckin' those pigs all night long.
August 1, 2019 6:55 pm ET

The ghost of Reagan
Massaging his prostate gland
Eating bananas
Haiku #65469, by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
August 1, 2019 2:43 pm ET

When four Andrew Yangs
Locked in a room together
It becomes YangBang
Haiku #65468, by Donald J Trump of The White House
August 1, 2019 2:09 pm ET

Figpucker you're DULL!
Dull dull dull tiresome and dull.
(You are also dull.)
Haiku #65467, by Anonymous Poet
August 1, 2019 9:43 am ET

Diseases of lust.
They kind of feel good at first.
Extra sensitive.
Haiku #65466, by Don't say I never gave you anything. of I caught it from a pig.
August 1, 2019 3:29 am ET

Heightened awareness
Sense of smell prehistoric
Sabre toothed anus
Haiku #65465, by Caveman of Cave (actually wife s cunt)
July 31, 2019 9:56 pm ET

Short at the checkout
People mocking you, Shorty
Haiku #65464, by Shorty of Checkout
July 31, 2019 9:49 pm ET

The scratch off ticket
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Scratch scratch scratch. You lose
Haiku #65463, by Trudging along of Under old willow
July 31, 2019 9:46 pm ET

Popping anal cysts.
It's now trending on YouTube.
Proctologists' dream.
Haiku #65462, by Jealous Ob-Gyn
July 31, 2019 8:44 pm ET

Oooh, that new car smell
Except it s not a new car
It s a hairy cunt
Haiku #65461, by Fornication of Porch
July 31, 2019 2:39 pm ET

Now that s manliness
Big shoes and you fill them up
A double cod piece
Haiku #65460, by 2Pecker of Doubledecker
July 31, 2019 11:20 am ET

Bugle at sunrise
My flatulence wakes the town
Gives the day purpose
Haiku #65459, by Walkin Funny of Shat my pantz
July 31, 2019 7:38 am ET

The milking parlour
Each penis trapped in metal
Not a cow in sight
Haiku #65458, by Cream Top of Past you eyes
July 30, 2019 11:30 pm ET

I am so evil.
I switched out the gold spray paint
with mosquito spray.

In the back alley
are a bunch of dead huffers.
Golden-faced corpses.

No laws are broken.
Used for intended purpose.
Deceased parasites.
Haiku #65457, by Jealous Pharaoh. of Afterlife adornments.
July 30, 2019 11:23 pm ET

You are not awesome.
You're less than ordinary.
Even substandard.
Haiku #65456, by Your significant other.
July 30, 2019 9:04 pm ET

I will not do it
if God does not tell me to.
Follow the Shepherd.

No, seriously.
Darth Vader's not Anakin.
"Dave" is... undarthy.

David Lee Roth, David Bowie, David Hasselhof... See, not very darthy at all... there are just no evil Davids out there. So Figpucker it is. All Figpuckers are evil.
Haiku #65455, by df
July 30, 2019 5:40 pm ET

A coincidence
Figpucker s name is David
Our Beloved Darth
Haiku #65454, by Star Trek Historian of Captain's Smelly Log
July 30, 2019 3:02 pm ET

David, in Psalms, said
Hate them with perfect hatred.
(But that's the O.T...)
Haiku #65453, by Groovy Messianic Hippie Shepherd of Love
July 30, 2019 10:27 am ET

Yes you should hate me
Because I am a shithead
Not 'cause God told you
Haiku #65452, by Jack the Zipper
July 30, 2019 9:58 am ET

The Bible says that
God says that I should hate you.
Your feelings on this?
Haiku #65451, by Devoid of feeling.
July 30, 2019 5:11 am ET

I ate chocolate covered ants.
But not on purpose.
Haiku #65450, by
July 29, 2019 7:15 pm ET

You got your chocolate on my testicles!
You got your testicles in my chocolate!
Two great tastes that taste great together.
Haiku #65449, by
July 29, 2019 7:03 pm ET

Got no energy.
Constipated this morning.

No, I don't want meth.
I already had coffee.
Oh, never mind then!
Haiku #65448, by df of Hearing voices.
July 29, 2019 6:32 pm ET

Stiff competition
The menfolk comparing schlongs
How far they can spit
Haiku #65447, by Summer Schlong of Schlong Summer
July 29, 2019 5:30 pm ET

It is not easy.
When you're the best whore in town.
Twat is always sore.
Haiku #65446, by df
July 29, 2019 4:47 pm ET

Nissan Passwinder
Drive the all new sports sedan
Powered. By. Your. Farts.
Haiku #65445, by Messy Dude of California emission nocturnal
July 29, 2019 7:37 am ET

Chicoms own movies
Bought out Hollywood rat finks
Push propaganda films

Comic book bull shit
And "America is bad"
Moronic jive crap

Box office nose dive
lose millions of green dollars
No one will watch film.
Haiku #65444, by Jon Walon of El Dorado
July 29, 2019 5:27 am ET

Had to smog old car
One more California scam
Another damn tax.
Haiku #65443, by Walt Tripp of Hawgsback woods
July 29, 2019 5:09 am ET

Family gathering
After church. Sunday dinner
Granny s meat curtains
Haiku #65442, by Sausage dink of A roundabout
July 28, 2019 8:59 am ET

You are so, so wrong.
Your penis smells like yak poo.
It's Yak Shaving Day!

Ren and Stimpy rule.
Disgusting animation.
Absolute finest.
Haiku #65441, by Nose Goblin close-ups.
July 28, 2019 4:12 am ET

Edgar Allen Poe.
Real poems vs. haiku.
Who you gonna trust?!
Haiku #65440, by When you catch the dragon, it tastes sort of like frog legs when deep fried in corn batter. Yummy!
July 28, 2019 4:08 am ET

You need opium.
Satan doesn't want your cash.
Your mind will be free.
Haiku #65439, by Chase that dragon.
July 28, 2019 4:05 am ET

To get your mind back
Don't give the devil money
Stop taking the drugs

That means alcohol
Weed and everything else
Learn the straight edge life

Your mind will clear up
You will then stop losing time
Your body will be strong

So you don't believe?
Just try it out for yourself
See if I am wrong
Haiku #65438, by Rolang of Yak Mountain
July 28, 2019 3:28 am ET

Went to the V.A.
To see it they had changed
Not a God Damn bit

Illegal Alien?
Jump the border criminal?
The state will help you.

Busted up GI?
Injuries due to service?
You are on you own.
Haiku #65437, by XGI of Chitopolis
July 28, 2019 3:01 am ET

The infestation
How many times in one day
Do I need to douche?
Haiku #65436, by Bugsy Faggina
July 28, 2019 12:06 am ET

Benguet region coffee.
Tastes like fucking blueberries.
Reminds me of Jules.

"That's some serious gourmet shit right there."
Pulp Fiction.
It's the light saber that says "Bad Motherfucker". -- Mace Windu
Haiku #65435, by Feeling an urge to be evil.
July 27, 2019 10:29 pm ET

Where's my light saber.
I need to trim the hedges.
Darth Juan landscaping.
Haiku #65434, by Obi Juan Kenobi of Gone to the Dark Side
July 27, 2019 10:25 pm ET

Flies are disgusting.
Preying mantises are sexy.
But then you might die.
Haiku #65433, by I could live with that.
July 27, 2019 10:22 pm ET

Ladies, keep it clean.
A woman's worth is her cunt.
Lysol keeps it fresh.
Haiku #65432, by Time Traveler
July 27, 2019 7:51 pm ET

Which do you prefer?
An Asian dwarf or pygmy?
Sometimes pygmies bite.

But for wiping ass,
pygmies really know their shit.
Haiku #65431, by Figpuckerishness -- The degree to which something is figpuckered.
July 27, 2019 12:44 pm ET