Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display
Much talk of humping
by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
Calamine lotion
On the end of your penis
Now your dink is pink
by Rosy Gonadz of Under old willow
Summer camp pervert
Watching you defecating
And wiping with leaves
by Pervert of Camp
Somebody once said
If you have really big feet
Your dink should be large
by Uber driver of Waiting and masturbating
intimidating
homosexuality
defenestrated
by throw those fags out the window!
Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.
by BroMany thanks to our sponsors: General Electric, Exxon, and the Charlie Manson Foundation. of San Diego Opera Scenic Studio
Make it hurt so good
Said John Cougar Menstrualcramp
Blood on the scarecrow
by If I only had a brain of Red brick road
Help me pop my cyst.
It's right under my nut sack.
Oh, you're sooo boring!
Real men love cyst pus.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You are so damn dull!
So are your haiku.
Stinky grandma twat curtains.
See, that's a poem!
by Funt Cart! The most awesome poet in the world!
You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.
Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.
by
I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.
I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.
by
Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so
by This site fuckin sucks
Chop off your penis.
Dice it and cook it in soup.
Serve it for dinner.
After they eat it,
let them know what they just ate.
Laugh in your wife's face.
"That is the last time
you will ever get my dick!
I am happy now!"
by President Donald Trump of No, seriously.
Express the given function using window and step functions and compute its Laplace transform.
by
Trapping and fucking
wild boars is no easy task.
KY jelly helps.
by Cue Deliverance theme song. of Squeal, little piggie, squeal for daddy.
Who is more boring,
the bore or the copycat?
You make meth-heads yawn.
Work in surgery.
You're drug-free anesthesia.
Side effect, bad taste.
by df of Fuckin' those pigs all night long.
The ghost of Reagan
Massaging his prostate gland
Eating bananas
by Walkin Funny of Under old willow
When four Andrew Yangs
Locked in a room together
It becomes YangBang
by Donald J Trump of The White House
Figpucker you're DULL!
Dull dull dull tiresome and dull.
(You are also dull.)
by Anonymous Poet
Diseases of lust.
They kind of feel good at first.
Extra sensitive.
by Don't say I never gave you anything. of I caught it from a pig.
Heightened awareness
Sense of smell prehistoric
Sabre toothed anus
by Caveman of Cave (actually wife s cunt)
Short at the checkout
People mocking you, Shorty
TIME TO GO MENTAL!!!
by Shorty of Checkout
The scratch off ticket
Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch
Scratch scratch scratch. You lose
by Trudging along of Under old willow
Popping anal cysts.
It's now trending on YouTube.
Proctologists' dream.
by Jealous Ob-Gyn
Oooh, that new car smell
Except it s not a new car
It s a hairy cunt
by Fornication of Porch
Now that s manliness
Big shoes and you fill them up
A double cod piece
by 2Pecker of Doubledecker
Bugle at sunrise
My flatulence wakes the town
Gives the day purpose
by Walkin Funny of Shat my pantz
The milking parlour
Each penis trapped in metal
Not a cow in sight
by Cream Top of Past you eyes
I am so evil.
I switched out the gold spray paint
with mosquito spray.
In the back alley
are a bunch of dead huffers.
Golden-faced corpses.
No laws are broken.
Used for intended purpose.
Deceased parasites.
by Jealous Pharaoh. of Afterlife adornments.
You are not awesome.
You're less than ordinary.
Even substandard.
by Your significant other.
I will not do it
if God does not tell me to.
Follow the Shepherd.
No, seriously.
Darth Vader's not Anakin.
"Dave" is... undarthy.
David Lee Roth, David Bowie, David Hasselhof... See, not very darthy at all... there are just no evil Davids out there. So Figpucker it is. All Figpuckers are evil.
by df
A coincidence
Figpucker s name is David
Our Beloved Darth
by Star Trek Historian of Captain's Smelly Log
David, in Psalms, said
Hate them with perfect hatred.
(But that's the O.T...)
by Groovy Messianic Hippie Shepherd of Love
Yes you should hate me
Because I am a shithead
Not 'cause God told you
by Jack the Zipper
The Bible says that
God says that I should hate you.
Your feelings on this?
by Devoid of feeling.
Sophistication.
I ate chocolate covered ants.
But not on purpose.
by
You got your chocolate on my testicles!
You got your testicles in my chocolate!
Two great tastes that taste great together.
by
Got no energy.
Constipated this morning.
Recommendations?
No, I don't want meth.
I already had coffee.
Oh, never mind then!
by df of Hearing voices.
Stiff competition
The menfolk comparing schlongs
How far they can spit
by Summer Schlong of Schlong Summer
It is not easy.
When you're the best whore in town.
Twat is always sore.
by df
Nissan Passwinder
Drive the all new sports sedan
Powered. By. Your. Farts.
by Messy Dude of California emission nocturnal
Chicoms own movies
Bought out Hollywood rat finks
Push propaganda films
Comic book bull shit
And "America is bad"
Moronic jive crap
Box office nose dive
lose millions of green dollars
No one will watch film.
by Jon Walon of El Dorado
Had to smog old car
One more California scam
Another damn tax.
by Walt Tripp of Hawgsback woods
Family gathering
After church. Sunday dinner
Granny s meat curtains
by Sausage dink of A roundabout
You are so, so wrong.
Your penis smells like yak poo.
It's Yak Shaving Day!
Ren and Stimpy rule.
Disgusting animation.
Absolute finest.
by Nose Goblin close-ups.
Edgar Allen Poe.
Real poems vs. haiku.
Who you gonna trust?!
by When you catch the dragon, it tastes sort of like frog legs when deep fried in corn batter. Yummy!
You need opium.
Satan doesn't want your cash.
Your mind will be free.
by Chase that dragon.
To get your mind back
Don't give the devil money
Stop taking the drugs
That means alcohol
Weed and everything else
Learn the straight edge life
Your mind will clear up
You will then stop losing time
Your body will be strong
So you don't believe?
Just try it out for yourself
See if I am wrong
by Rolang of Yak Mountain
Went to the V.A.
To see it they had changed
Not a God Damn bit
Illegal Alien?
Jump the border criminal?
The state will help you.
Busted up GI?
Injuries due to service?
You are on you own.
by XGI of Chitopolis
The infestation
How many times in one day
Do I need to douche?
by Bugsy Faggina
Benguet region coffee.
Tastes like fucking blueberries.
Reminds me of Jules.
"That's some serious gourmet shit right there."
Pulp Fiction.
It's the light saber that says "Bad Motherfucker". -- Mace Windu
by Feeling an urge to be evil.