Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 17 Days and 76793 Haiku later...

My head hurts so bad,
I want to remove my brain.
Feed it to the pigs.
Haiku # 60983, November 17, 2018 4:32 am ET
by df
Cegno do this now
Sometimes Starkitten bossy
So, I
Haiku # 60982, November 17, 2018 2:25 am ET
by Cegno
I have never been
To the heart of this city
Worry of mugging
Haiku # 60981, November 17, 2018 2:21 am ET
by Cegno
No room for error
When you find your hand has stuck
To what you has thieved
Haiku # 60980, November 17, 2018 1:08 am ET
by Cegno
Impersonal self
The derealization
Need 4 cigarettes
Haiku # 60979, November 17, 2018 1:01 am ET
by Cegno of Roof
On the roof. Smoking.
So I endure fear of height
This makes me nervous
Haiku # 60978, November 17, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Cegno of Roof
Office Holiday
A party I may attend
Haiku # 60977, November 17, 2018 12:28 am ET
by Cegno of Certain
My colleague boasts. I stay quiet
Boss wife favor me
Haiku # 60976, November 16, 2018 10:59 pm ET
by Cegno
I can say it here
This spaceship has been removed
To remote cavern
Haiku # 60975, November 16, 2018 10:56 pm ET
by Cegno of Beyond
I read their remarks
Tried to keep an open mind
The taste was not good
Haiku # 60974, November 16, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by Cegno of Yelp of restaurant
Half the time I wait
For the signal to transmit
Before I dare breathe
Haiku # 60973, November 16, 2018 10:49 pm ET
by Cegno
Yes, you do.
Haiku # 60972, November 16, 2018 9:26 pm ET
From the time you start
You have never had a chance
I don
Haiku # 60971, November 16, 2018 8:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Come on vhs.
Nothing we do will matter.
Nor antimatter.

You need to just be.
Whatever it is you are.
Even a poet.

Well, that's pretty low.
Or maybe a garbage man.
Or a bank robber.

Just do it.
Why ask why?
Celebrate the moments of your life.
It keeps going and going and going...
and stops.
Haiku # 60970, November 15, 2018 11:43 pm ET
by df of Pardon Me, But Do You Have any Grey Poupon?
It was a mistake
Used my dick as toilet snake
Ruined my own plumbing
Haiku # 60969, November 15, 2018 11:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Tortoises fucking.
They make the funniest sounds.
But then, so do we.
Haiku # 60968, November 15, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by df
Fuck you if I'll eat
hard boiled duck embryos.
Not for stinky farts.

Pomelo fruit's best
for stinky farts like a skunk.
Durian, less so.

When I see balut.
It's aborted Daffy Duck.
I just can't do that.
Haiku # 60967, November 15, 2018 11:31 pm ET
Familiar Tortoise
Face kinda looks like Crowley
Oh yeah, Barbara Bush!

Look, there's another
Parachuting down to earth
Cue: "Let's get it on ..."
Haiku # 60966, November 15, 2018 11:30 pm ET
by Zoo goer of Zoo
Stealthy dragonfly.
Lands softly on the tortoise.
Foghat's "Slow Ride" plays.
Haiku # 60965, November 15, 2018 11:23 pm ET
by the hair of the dog
My name was Cegno
They confiscated my smokes
Kept me in small room

I answered all their questions
And they let me go
Haiku # 60964, November 15, 2018 11:18 pm ET
by Cegno
Such redundancy;
Haiku does the red dunce-dance:
Excremental health.
Haiku # 60963, November 15, 2018 11:04 pm ET
by Execration of Excremeditation
That Darth Figpucker
Somewhere eating balut eggs
And Durian farts
Haiku # 60962, November 15, 2018 4:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Attention: Poets!
Was I just reading James Joyce?
Or was that Joyce James
Haiku # 60961, November 15, 2018 4:18 pm ET
by Ellen Jamesian of Blow Job
Don't listen to her
My sister has been on my street since I got a sister to the sister who was a sister sister who has a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a lot of work on the way she is and I have a lot to do and I am a sister sister and I have been able for the best way she said that I have a lot to say
Haiku # 60960, November 15, 2018 12:05 am ET
by Her sister
My sister was on her way she was like a woman and I am a woman who has a lot to say to the people that I have been told not yet I have to say I have been the same as a person and I'm a good person to say that the person I was a person to say I have a lot to do and not do anything for a person that is a woman who is not the woman that person who has a lot to do is just not a person that is a person and I have to be the woman that has a lot of things to say about her
Haiku # 60959, November 14, 2018 11:54 pm ET
by Person of With a lot to say
I don't have much to
do with this place anymore
I feel like a lot

of what I have done
on line has brought a side of
myself out that makes

me want to delete the whole thing
Haiku # 60958, November 14, 2018 10:04 pm ET
by vhs
Politics - nothing
to do with being polite,
but a parasite.

Poly, Greek for many.
Ticks, blood sucking parasites.
Therefore politics.
Haiku # 60957, November 14, 2018 5:54 pm ET
by df
Swoosh mush mush mush
Swoosh swoosh mush mush flush
Just wiping my tush
Haiku # 60956, November 14, 2018 3:24 pm ET
by Flush of In no rush
Tremendous, YUGE YUGE
Haiku # 60955, November 14, 2018 12:38 pm ET
by Trump of Mirror
Wipe out deficit.
Trump raped hard on Pay-Per-View.
Bigly yuge profits.

You must admit it.
Who WOULDN'T pay to see THAT!
Well, besides Sanders.
Haiku # 60954, November 14, 2018 7:36 am ET
by df
You say Trump is bad.
He's sure got a purty mouth.
Orange Deliverance.
Haiku # 60953, November 14, 2018 7:28 am ET
by df of Funny how a billionaire can bring out the hillbilly in people.
Debunking theories
Mosquitoes aren't attractive
Criminals walk free
Haiku # 60952, November 14, 2018 5:01 am ET
by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees
Haiku # 60951, November 14, 2018 4:38 am ET
by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.
Haiku # 60950, November 14, 2018 4:33 am ET
by the hair of the dog
Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii
Haiku # 60949, November 14, 2018 12:37 am ET
by Cegno
Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?
Haiku # 60948, November 13, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts
Haiku # 60947, November 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat
Haiku # 60946, November 13, 2018 8:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!

That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue
Haiku # 60945, November 13, 2018 8:14 pm ET
by Historian
Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.
Haiku # 60944, November 13, 2018 7:26 pm ET
by df
Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?
Haiku # 60943, November 13, 2018 5:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.

For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!
Haiku # 60942, November 13, 2018 5:30 pm ET
by df
Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.
Haiku # 60941, November 13, 2018 5:24 pm ET
by df
Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.
Haiku # 60940, November 13, 2018 5:23 pm ET
by df
How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue
Haiku # 60939, November 13, 2018 4:35 pm ET
by Person of In the know
Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard
Haiku # 60938, November 13, 2018 4:30 pm ET
by Little Shaver
Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.
Haiku # 60937, November 13, 2018 4:15 pm ET
by the hair of the dog
Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight
Haiku # 60936, November 13, 2018 2:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement
Haiku # 60935, November 13, 2018 2:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
When I see name Darth
I know what it will smell like.
I don't bother read
Haiku # 60934, November 13, 2018 7:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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