WEAR A FUCKING HELMET!
Oh shit, that was six syllables.
And that was eight.
And now four!
And now it's not even a haiku any more, goddamnit.
See what you've done!

Seriously, dude.
It was the pigs chasing me.
They love me, you know.

No, not the police.
Pigs meaning farm animals.
Police hate my ass.

Super cunt biscuits.
Queefy puffed delectables.
Get them while they're hot!


In other news:
hematoma has decreased in size quite a bit.
Just got to relax and see how it is after a couple of weeks.
Still feels like a hangover from hell.

Common in older people... brain shrinks w/ age and pulls away from the skull, making this type of injury more common in older people. 10 years ago likely would never have bothered me. Just a minor blow... in fact, I got up and kept on skateboarding after it happened. Only about a week later it got bad. Life.

Darth was skateboarding
In the nude. Yelling Haiku.
He was chasing pigs

Darth, why a helmet?
was it on a bicycle,
motorcycle or . . .

That old train whistle
Every time I hear it blow
I get a boner

We love you, Darth Figpucker!!

Could be cheap drama
I'm not above such tactics.
Look at me, lookie!

No, I'm really ill.
but not like imminent death.
Just bad injury.

Fucking life!
no physical exertion, no drinking, no drugs...
No putting small animals in my rectum,
nothing fun any more. Damn it.
And I have nasty fucking headaches.

Surgery is a very likely possibility.
Crack open head, remove blood and cauterize
the broken veins. Look it up.
Subdural hematoma.
Should have worm a fucking helmet. Stupid idiot I am.

Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

But look. Whatever happens, it is NOT important. We are all just farts in the windstorm. Never forget that.

Starkitten sneaky
I

Starkitten sneaky
I

Starkitten sneaky
I

Starkitten sneaky
I

Is Darth really ill?
or is it just cheap drama . . .
Important to know.

I do not mind if
you come visit, Starkitten.
Just don't tell my wife.

It's hard to tell yet.
Subdural hematomas
don't often heal well.

Can kill years later
if it is not cauterized
Surgery, maybe.

Considering it.
Options, possibilities.
Heart of Gold warp drive.

What's more important
is my penis enlargement
surgery Friday.

I hope you're ok, Darth xoxo
Me and VHS will come visit you

Turd stew! Hot Turd Stew!
Get your Hot Turd Stew! Turd Stew!
Hot stuff coming through!

sad to hear it, will
keep you in my prayers if that
works, i will anyway

Breathe the Molecules
An exquisite blend of farts
Catch a whiff of me

I say the Pen is
mightier than than the S-word.
. . . and the S-word is:

How many testes
is testicularity.
Seldom more than two.

Serial killers
might collect testes in jars.
could skew the data.

Another CT
scan tomorrow to see how
much blood's on the brain.

If they operate,
I'm sure that I will die.
Shit hole country odds.

An haiku poets
should murder people with pens.
With pens, not penes.

Serial killers
should write haiku with the blood
of their victims. POOT!

I had to write POOT.
Otherwise it's no haiku.
Poopie poo poo poo.

Sea monkey penes.
Apparently they have two.
If wife chops one off.

https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-017-0791-6_1

Back to sea monkeys
No, they don't have cute faces
Want to see their junk

Serial killers
They should write haiku instead
Just my opinion

Two slices of bread
The protein will be cunt lips
How 'bout a pickle

I tried to vote twice
Longpig Party. FIGPUCKER!!
Farted on ballot.

Vote for Figpucker!
Build a brothel in each town!
Thailand pays for it!

I voted, I think
But I mistook your ass crack
For the ballot box

Elect FIGPUCKER !
(Since this world is a shithole
and he loves shitholes)

I truly do hope
It doesn't turn out to be
A light-red ripple.

* have

"Oh, and furthermore
Leave my brethren alone, Darth.
Mosquitoes gave rights!"

"and while I'm at it
I'll leave behind some flaiku
Also known as poop."

(Insect voice) "Hey, man..
We're saving that chunk for later!
Feasting on yours now."

Filthy remains rot
Even flies won't eat the corpse
That is your Haiku

You said power drill
The trigger words. You woke me
I've got morning wood

I'm sure he's quite handy
Barney could fix your plumbing
And clog all your pipes

Like, the Scooby snack
Could have been giant Funyuns
But they drew your dink

Brain damage is cool.
When you wake up from a dream,
it all seems so real.

I had an affair
with Barney the dinosaur
dressed like a plumber.

But the headaches suck.
Power drill pressure relief.
So fucking tempting.

Why the dream about
Velma from Scoobie Doo?
Never in my life.

"You can't fuck me, I'm a cartoon.
I'm not even supposed to say that word.
Oh... oooo... well... okay."

Seriously... WTF?!

Yeah, if you jack off.
Don't do it on a skateboard.
Or wear a helmet.

hit by an arrow
walking in Piccadilly
on Feb fourteen morn

Knitting dink covers
For the holidays, boys
Who needs the big size?

Is this real haiku?
Is haiku about pooping?
Ok, I farted

The article said
The old man was skateboarding
And masturbating

I am such a cunt.
Old people should not skateboard.
Stay home and jack off!

Fucking little goddamn pebble! Fuck!

Trying to heal you
Starkitten has been ill, too
Last surgery failed

The chance is high that
you just breathed a molecule
from Hitler's last fart.

And Beethoven's and
Jesus' and Buddha's and...
You get the idea.

We are all one fart!
Chemistry is amazing!
Avogadro's Cock!

6.022x10^23 golf balls covering the earth 3 miles deep in golf balls. Tiger Woods, save us! Offerings of cocaine and prostitutes.