Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 323 Days and 76717 Haiku later...

I'm sure he's quite handy
Barney could fix your plumbing
And clog all your pipes
Haiku # 60813, November 6, 2018 7:54 am ET
by He"s trouble
Like, the Scooby snack
Could have been giant Funyuns
But they drew your dink
Haiku # 60812, November 6, 2018 7:48 am ET
by I know you get a boner of But do you receive royalties?
Brain damage is cool.
When you wake up from a dream,
it all seems so real.

I had an affair
with Barney the dinosaur
dressed like a plumber.

But the headaches suck.
Power drill pressure relief.
So fucking tempting.

Why the dream about
Velma from Scoobie Doo?
Never in my life.

"You can't fuck me, I'm a cartoon.
I'm not even supposed to say that word.
Oh... oooo... well... okay."

Seriously... WTF?!
Haiku # 60811, November 6, 2018 5:38 am ET
Yeah, if you jack off.
Don't do it on a skateboard.
Or wear a helmet.
Haiku # 60810, November 6, 2018 4:39 am ET
hit by an arrow
walking in Piccadilly
on Feb fourteen morn
Haiku # 60809, November 6, 2018 3:03 am ET
by fabio sassi of bologna, italy
Knitting dink covers
For the holidays, boys
Who needs the big size?
Haiku # 60808, November 6, 2018 2:20 am ET
by Crafty
Is this real haiku?
Is haiku about pooping?
Ok, I farted
Haiku # 60807, November 6, 2018 2:04 am ET
by Nina
The article said
The old man was skateboarding
And masturbating
Haiku # 60806, November 5, 2018 11:29 pm ET
by And yelling haiku poems of And chasing a pig
I am such a cunt.
Old people should not skateboard.
Stay home and jack off!

Fucking little goddamn pebble! Fuck!
Haiku # 60805, November 5, 2018 11:12 pm ET
Trying to heal you
Starkitten has been ill, too
Last surgery failed
Haiku # 60804, November 5, 2018 11:04 pm ET
by Have seam up middle like stuffed animal of Sending healing farts your way (smelliest ones)
The chance is high that
you just breathed a molecule
from Hitler's last fart.

And Beethoven's and
Jesus' and Buddha's and...
You get the idea.

We are all one fart!
Chemistry is amazing!
Avogadro's Cock!

6.022x10^23 golf balls covering the earth 3 miles deep in golf balls. Tiger Woods, save us! Offerings of cocaine and prostitutes.
Haiku # 60803, November 5, 2018 10:49 pm ET
Life is fucking great.
Subdural hematoma.
What could be better.

Yo momma in a coma hematoma.

Christ I hope I die.
Fuck all that surgery shit.
Tampon in the nose.

Not terrible, but I do have to monitor it.
Headaches fucking suck, slight numbness.
Yesterday was worse. Maybe it will get better.
You fuckers aren't rid of me yet.

Yeah, fuck surgery.
Bacardi 151.
Power drill, tampon.
Haiku # 60802, November 5, 2018 10:37 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of DIY brain surgery. Web Save money!
Passenger pigeon
Important haiku in beak
Scratch that...his asshole
Haiku # 60801, November 5, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Asshole it stinked
Is there room in Hell
For us and our poetry
And smelly asses?
Haiku # 60800, November 5, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The way I see it
If you keep at it a while
You'll jizz out something
Haiku # 60799, November 5, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Jizzer
Poems write themselves
They float in the air we breathe
Along with Darth's farts
Haiku # 60798, November 5, 2018 8:47 pm ET
by Breathing mud
Whenever in doubt
You should press submit haiku
Just put some words up
Haiku # 60797, November 5, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by Haiku Advice of Haiku 101
Mother in law, Why?
Does the table smell like fish?
Are doorknobs greasy?
Haiku # 60796, November 5, 2018 7:59 pm ET
by ?
VHS is Nina, too prob
Haiku # 60795, November 5, 2018 7:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Further proof that VHS is Figpucker!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 60794, November 5, 2018 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hell's Outhouse Hole, folks
It happens to dump right here
Submit Haiku page
Haiku # 60793, November 5, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
*depths... goddamnit
Haiku # 60792, November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My origin depts
are far deeper than toilets.
Think Satan's outhouse.

If Hell is as low
as you can go, then what of
Hell's outhouse hole, eh?
Haiku # 60791, November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET
Strum strum strum plunk plunk
Stretching my pubic hairs out
Smoke on the water....
Haiku # 60790, November 5, 2018 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Welcome, Nina. First:
Beware the foul stench of Darth.
He rises from toilet.
Haiku # 60789, November 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET
by Full House Royal Flush
Hi, I am new here
I can't wait to learn haiku
Is there a topic?
Haiku # 60788, November 5, 2018 3:34 pm ET
by Nina of Az
Been waiting for this
It's been a rough, muddy road
Bought toilet paper
Haiku # 60787, November 5, 2018 2:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Poop worm dink undies
Gave me a little chuckle
And a funny dream
Haiku # 60786, November 5, 2018 1:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Queen Elizabeth II
She's sitting atop the throne
Hunch royal coil
Haiku # 60785, November 5, 2018 12:48 pm ET
by Lizard Biotch
Vampire Tea Bags
We're holding our pinkies up
Sipping with werewolves
Haiku # 60784, November 5, 2018 12:46 pm ET
by Sippers
Waves of menstrual cramps
Prince Charles Dressed as a tampon
Totally rad,dude
Haiku # 60783, November 5, 2018 12:31 pm ET
by Surf's up
Red tsunami breaks.
The wave in picture above
Is red red red red!
Haiku # 60782, November 5, 2018 9:05 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of brown stench
Wed Rave incoming.
Wed Rave incoming, people.
Get out of the way!
Haiku # 60781, November 5, 2018 8:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Coprophagist Darth:
your mouth the only toilet
I can see from here.
Haiku # 60780, November 5, 2018 8:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A cockroach milkshake.
Dingleberry booger pie.
Side of tampon scabs.
Haiku # 60779, November 5, 2018 4:52 am ET
Poop worm dink undies
fart stench toilet grunt ass wipe
constipation cunt.
Haiku # 60778, November 5, 2018 4:43 am ET
Dirty underwear
Sending them as Christmas gifts
You are on the list
Haiku # 60777, November 5, 2018 3:59 am ET
by Secret Santa
Toilet Recliner
Relax and grunt in comfort
Because you're worth it
Haiku # 60776, November 5, 2018 3:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a feeling
The stench is a real problem
When you use the can
Haiku # 60775, November 5, 2018 3:24 am ET
by Got a hunch
Diary Entry:
Suffocate him in his sleep
With a plastic bag
Haiku # 60774, November 5, 2018 2:42 am ET
by Edie Brickell of Sounds of Almost Silence, CT
You can tell your friends
Your haiku is famous
Bask in the glory
Haiku # 60773, November 5, 2018 2:39 am ET
by G o d
Wet wild wiggly worm?
Which end of you has the dink?
I like holding you
Haiku # 60772, November 5, 2018 2:36 am ET
by Worm holder
Wiping my behind
Decorated with bad poop
Help wanted: Ass Wipe

Must enjoy loud farts
Preferably ambidextrous
With a caring touch
Haiku # 60771, November 5, 2018 2:31 am ET
by Sitter of Terlit
There is a blank page.
And I scribble a haiku.
But which is better?
Haiku # 60770, November 5, 2018 12:08 am ET
Worms are in my brain.
If you wait at my asshole,
you'll wait forever.
Haiku # 60769, November 5, 2018 12:04 am ET
It's always God's fault.
Satan's just a laid back dude
with a big red ass.
Haiku # 60768, November 5, 2018 12:03 am ET
Sort of hungry now
waiting for worms to pop up
From your big asshole
Haiku # 60767, November 4, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Why this place exists....
Must be a crazy dream of...
God or the Devil
Haiku # 60766, November 4, 2018 11:25 pm ET
by Religious Inexperience
Donald Trump sucks ass
Haiku # 60765, November 4, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry to bother you
But I don
Haiku # 60764, November 4, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Mack of Mirror
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