Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 194 Days and 75690 Haiku later...

Life is fucking great.
Subdural hematoma.
What could be better.

Yo momma in a coma hematoma.

Christ I hope I die.
Fuck all that surgery shit.
Tampon in the nose.

Not terrible, but I do have to monitor it.
Headaches fucking suck, slight numbness.
Yesterday was worse. Maybe it will get better.
You fuckers aren't rid of me yet.

Yeah, fuck surgery.
Bacardi 151.
Power drill, tampon.
Haiku # 60802, November 5, 2018 10:37 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of DIY brain surgery. Web MD.com. Save money!
Passenger pigeon
Important haiku in beak
Scratch that...his asshole
Haiku # 60801, November 5, 2018 10:19 pm ET
by Asshole it stinked
Is there room in Hell
For us and our poetry
And smelly asses?
Haiku # 60800, November 5, 2018 9:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
The way I see it
If you keep at it a while
You'll jizz out something
Haiku # 60799, November 5, 2018 9:06 pm ET
by Jizzer
Poems write themselves
They float in the air we breathe
Along with Darth's farts
Haiku # 60798, November 5, 2018 8:47 pm ET
by Breathing mud
Whenever in doubt
You should press submit haiku
Just put some words up
Haiku # 60797, November 5, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by Haiku Advice of Haiku 101
Mother in law, Why?
Does the table smell like fish?
Are doorknobs greasy?
Haiku # 60796, November 5, 2018 7:59 pm ET
by ?
VHS is Nina, too prob
Haiku # 60795, November 5, 2018 7:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Further proof that VHS is Figpucker!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 60794, November 5, 2018 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hell's Outhouse Hole, folks
It happens to dump right here
Submit Haiku page
Haiku # 60793, November 5, 2018 6:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
*depths... goddamnit
Haiku # 60792, November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My origin depts
are far deeper than toilets.
Think Satan's outhouse.

If Hell is as low
as you can go, then what of
Hell's outhouse hole, eh?
Haiku # 60791, November 5, 2018 6:10 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Strum strum strum plunk plunk
Stretching my pubic hairs out
Smoke on the water....
Haiku # 60790, November 5, 2018 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Welcome, Nina. First:
Beware the foul stench of Darth.
He rises from toilet.
Haiku # 60789, November 5, 2018 5:12 pm ET
by Full House Royal Flush
Hi, I am new here
I can't wait to learn haiku
Is there a topic?
Haiku # 60788, November 5, 2018 3:34 pm ET
by Nina of Az
Been waiting for this
It's been a rough, muddy road
Bought toilet paper
Haiku # 60787, November 5, 2018 2:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Poop worm dink undies
Gave me a little chuckle
And a funny dream
Haiku # 60786, November 5, 2018 1:03 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Queen Elizabeth II
She's sitting atop the throne
Hunch royal coil
Haiku # 60785, November 5, 2018 12:48 pm ET
by Lizard Biotch
Vampire Tea Bags
We're holding our pinkies up
Sipping with werewolves
Haiku # 60784, November 5, 2018 12:46 pm ET
by Sippers
Waves of menstrual cramps
Prince Charles Dressed as a tampon
Totally rad,dude
Haiku # 60783, November 5, 2018 12:31 pm ET
by Surf's up
Red tsunami breaks.
The wave in picture above
Is red red red red!
Haiku # 60782, November 5, 2018 9:05 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of brown stench
Wed Rave incoming.
Wed Rave incoming, people.
Get out of the way!
Haiku # 60781, November 5, 2018 8:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Coprophagist Darth:
your mouth the only toilet
I can see from here.
Haiku # 60780, November 5, 2018 8:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
A cockroach milkshake.
Dingleberry booger pie.
Side of tampon scabs.
Haiku # 60779, November 5, 2018 4:52 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Poop worm dink undies
fart stench toilet grunt ass wipe
constipation cunt.
Haiku # 60778, November 5, 2018 4:43 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Dirty underwear
Sending them as Christmas gifts
You are on the list
Haiku # 60777, November 5, 2018 3:59 am ET
by Secret Santa
Toilet Recliner
Relax and grunt in comfort
Because you're worth it
Haiku # 60776, November 5, 2018 3:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have a feeling
The stench is a real problem
When you use the can
Haiku # 60775, November 5, 2018 3:24 am ET
by Got a hunch
Diary Entry:
Suffocate him in his sleep
With a plastic bag
Haiku # 60774, November 5, 2018 2:42 am ET
by Edie Brickell of Sounds of Almost Silence, CT
You can tell your friends
Your haiku is famous
Bask in the glory
Haiku # 60773, November 5, 2018 2:39 am ET
by G o d
Wet wild wiggly worm?
Which end of you has the dink?
I like holding you
Haiku # 60772, November 5, 2018 2:36 am ET
by Worm holder
Wiping my behind
Decorated with bad poop
Help wanted: Ass Wipe

Must enjoy loud farts
Preferably ambidextrous
With a caring touch
Haiku # 60771, November 5, 2018 2:31 am ET
by Sitter of Terlit
There is a blank page.
And I scribble a haiku.
But which is better?
Haiku # 60770, November 5, 2018 12:08 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worms are in my brain.
If you wait at my asshole,
you'll wait forever.
Haiku # 60769, November 5, 2018 12:04 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's always God's fault.
Satan's just a laid back dude
with a big red ass.
Haiku # 60768, November 5, 2018 12:03 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Sort of hungry now
waiting for worms to pop up
From your big asshole
Haiku # 60767, November 4, 2018 11:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Why this place exists....
Must be a crazy dream of...
God or the Devil
Haiku # 60766, November 4, 2018 11:25 pm ET
by Religious Inexperience
Donald Trump sucks ass
Haiku # 60765, November 4, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Sorry to bother you
But I don
Haiku # 60764, November 4, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Mack of Mirror
Sorry to bother you
But I don
Haiku # 60763, November 4, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Mack of Mirror
Chocolate brown chip loaf
Cocoa nib chunk cookie crumb
Fudge mocha dank dump
Haiku # 60762, November 4, 2018 9:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Constipation Wish
Someone please free the log jam
I don't deserve this
Haiku # 60761, November 4, 2018 8:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Had the urge to fart
What a surprise. Poop came out.
God's fault or Devil?
Haiku # 60760, November 4, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
in that case kiss my haikus
Haiku # 60759, November 4, 2018 6:51 pm ET
by vhs
Nice ass
Haiku # 60758, November 4, 2018 3:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Electricity
Telecommunication
Abracadabra
Haiku # 60757, November 4, 2018 3:29 pm ET
by Starkitten
Masturbatory
hyperreflexivity
ejaculation.
Haiku # 60756, November 4, 2018 2:45 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Already famous.
My ass is enjoyed worldwide.
Check out my haiku.
Haiku # 60755, November 4, 2018 9:04 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
There should be a score
That calculates the crazy
Based on the poems
Haiku # 60754, November 4, 2018 3:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Where are the poets?
Yes, I think this site is rigged
By Psychiatrists
Haiku # 60753, November 4, 2018 3:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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