I do not mind if
you come visit, Starkitten.
Just don't tell my wife.

It's hard to tell yet.
Subdural hematomas
don't often heal well.

Can kill years later
if it is not cauterized
Surgery, maybe.

Considering it.
Options, possibilities.
Heart of Gold warp drive.

What's more important
is my penis enlargement
surgery Friday.

I hope you're ok, Darth xoxo
Me and VHS will come visit you

Turd stew! Hot Turd Stew!
Get your Hot Turd Stew! Turd Stew!
Hot stuff coming through!

sad to hear it, will
keep you in my prayers if that
works, i will anyway

Breathe the Molecules
An exquisite blend of farts
Catch a whiff of me

I say the Pen is
mightier than than the S-word.
. . . and the S-word is:

How many testes
is testicularity.
Seldom more than two.

Serial killers
might collect testes in jars.
could skew the data.

Another CT
scan tomorrow to see how
much blood's on the brain.

If they operate,
I'm sure that I will die.
Shit hole country odds.

An haiku poets
should murder people with pens.
With pens, not penes.

Serial killers
should write haiku with the blood
of their victims. POOT!

I had to write POOT.
Otherwise it's no haiku.
Poopie poo poo poo.

Sea monkey penes.
Apparently they have two.
If wife chops one off.

https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-94-017-0791-6_1

Back to sea monkeys
No, they don't have cute faces
Want to see their junk

Serial killers
They should write haiku instead
Just my opinion

Two slices of bread
The protein will be cunt lips
How 'bout a pickle

I tried to vote twice
Longpig Party. FIGPUCKER!!
Farted on ballot.

Vote for Figpucker!
Build a brothel in each town!
Thailand pays for it!

I voted, I think
But I mistook your ass crack
For the ballot box

Elect FIGPUCKER !
(Since this world is a shithole
and he loves shitholes)

I truly do hope
It doesn't turn out to be
A light-red ripple.

* have

"Oh, and furthermore
Leave my brethren alone, Darth.
Mosquitoes gave rights!"

"and while I'm at it
I'll leave behind some flaiku
Also known as poop."

(Insect voice) "Hey, man..
We're saving that chunk for later!
Feasting on yours now."

Filthy remains rot
Even flies won't eat the corpse
That is your Haiku

You said power drill
The trigger words. You woke me
I've got morning wood

I'm sure he's quite handy
Barney could fix your plumbing
And clog all your pipes

Like, the Scooby snack
Could have been giant Funyuns
But they drew your dink

Brain damage is cool.
When you wake up from a dream,
it all seems so real.

I had an affair
with Barney the dinosaur
dressed like a plumber.

But the headaches suck.
Power drill pressure relief.
So fucking tempting.

Why the dream about
Velma from Scoobie Doo?
Never in my life.

"You can't fuck me, I'm a cartoon.
I'm not even supposed to say that word.
Oh... oooo... well... okay."

Seriously... WTF?!

Yeah, if you jack off.
Don't do it on a skateboard.
Or wear a helmet.

hit by an arrow
walking in Piccadilly
on Feb fourteen morn

Knitting dink covers
For the holidays, boys
Who needs the big size?

Is this real haiku?
Is haiku about pooping?
Ok, I farted

The article said
The old man was skateboarding
And masturbating

I am such a cunt.
Old people should not skateboard.
Stay home and jack off!

Fucking little goddamn pebble! Fuck!

Trying to heal you
Starkitten has been ill, too
Last surgery failed

The chance is high that
you just breathed a molecule
from Hitler's last fart.

And Beethoven's and
Jesus' and Buddha's and...
You get the idea.

We are all one fart!
Chemistry is amazing!
Avogadro's Cock!

6.022x10^23 golf balls covering the earth 3 miles deep in golf balls. Tiger Woods, save us! Offerings of cocaine and prostitutes.

Life is fucking great.
Subdural hematoma.
What could be better.

Yo momma in a coma hematoma.

Christ I hope I die.
Fuck all that surgery shit.
Tampon in the nose.

Not terrible, but I do have to monitor it.
Headaches fucking suck, slight numbness.
Yesterday was worse. Maybe it will get better.
You fuckers aren't rid of me yet.

Yeah, fuck surgery.
Bacardi 151.
Power drill, tampon.

Passenger pigeon
Important haiku in beak
Scratch that...his asshole

Is there room in Hell
For us and our poetry
And smelly asses?

The way I see it
If you keep at it a while
You'll jizz out something

Poems write themselves
They float in the air we breathe
Along with Darth's farts

Whenever in doubt
You should press submit haiku
Just put some words up

Mother in law, Why?
Does the table smell like fish?
Are doorknobs greasy?

VHS is Nina, too prob

Further proof that VHS is Figpucker!!!!!!!!!!

Hell's Outhouse Hole, folks
It happens to dump right here
Submit Haiku page

*depths... goddamnit

My origin depts
are far deeper than toilets.
Think Satan's outhouse.

If Hell is as low
as you can go, then what of
Hell's outhouse hole, eh?

Strum strum strum plunk plunk
Stretching my pubic hairs out
Smoke on the water....