Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

Somebody stop me
Yo, VHS, fickpucker
Throw down some road spikes
Haiku # 60747, November 4, 2018 1:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I can't stop haiku
It's out of control. I tried
Haiku brakes on the fritz

Got the syllable shits and I can't stop.
Haiku # 60746, November 4, 2018 1:45 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We are in God's jail
Doing Time for our parents
They were horny that night
Haiku # 60745, November 4, 2018 1:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Colonel sanders here
You have to fuck the chicken
That is the secret
Haiku # 60744, November 4, 2018 1:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And then we'll fly off
Catch up with the Hale Boppers
You just might get laid
Haiku # 60743, November 4, 2018 1:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
With a glass of milk
Toast cut in triangle shapes
To enhance flavor
Haiku # 60742, November 4, 2018 12:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
No holiday guests
No holiday meal. Just toast
And peanut butter
Haiku # 60741, November 4, 2018 12:50 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You can see the stench
Haikus rotting in the sun
It's all your fault,dude
Haiku # 60740, November 4, 2018 12:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Peanut butter toast
Is my all time favorite meal
Can you dig it, babe
Haiku # 60739, November 4, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Swing by. Pick me up
Let's drive straight into the sun
Burn, motherfucker!
Haiku # 60738, November 4, 2018 12:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Melancholy Turd
Abandoned in Menswear aisle
On Fitting Room floor
Haiku # 60737, November 4, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Retail me Not of Menswear
Hard work, these poems
Up before sunrise, milking
Syllables. Smells foul.
Haiku # 60736, November 4, 2018 12:35 am ET
by Haiku farmer of Knee deep in chicken shit
Turkey shaped clogger
Forgot plunger in England
Call it Grog with Log
Haiku # 60735, November 3, 2018 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Up close.magnified
Every pore and crumb of shit
Anal Viewmaster
Haiku # 60734, November 3, 2018 11:10 pm ET
by Turdseyeview
Swinging high high high
Away I fly fly fly
Into a shitpile
Haiku # 60733, November 3, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That sounds G rated
Compared to Jim Bob's skill
Fuckbasting the Bird
Haiku # 60732, November 3, 2018 11:07 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Wipe me with the napkin, please... getting moist
Hard as Plymouth Rock
Wipe your hands on the stray dogs
Jizzed Brussels sprouts
Haiku # 60731, November 3, 2018 11:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I know what it is
Got a headless conjoined twin
Call it double junk
Haiku # 60730, November 3, 2018 11:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wouldn't know what DVDA was if not for Matt Stone and Trey Parker. What would Brian Boitano Do?
Haiku # 60729, November 3, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by
Thanksgiving themed porn.
Pilgrims bang Poke-a-hot-ass,
the big chief's daughter.

Let us bow our heads.
Lord, we thank you for this feast
of pussy and tits.

"I like the fish pie."
Licking whipped cream off her tits.
Let's stuff this here bird.

Mock English accents.
Olden-speak DVDA.
She was stuffed alright!
Haiku # 60728, November 3, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Pilgrims pulling penis
Pumpkin pie pig-out packs pounds
Pilgrim Poontang
Haiku # 60727, November 3, 2018 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them
Haiku # 60726, November 3, 2018 9:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter
Haiku # 60725, November 3, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus
Haiku # 60724, November 3, 2018 9:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.
Haiku # 60723, November 3, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.
Haiku # 60722, November 3, 2018 9:23 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?
Haiku # 60721, November 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET
by Choked and Stuffed Chicken
That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo
Haiku # 60720, November 3, 2018 7:35 pm ET
by Sure stinx
The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku # 60719, November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku # 60718, November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by He bites
Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku # 60717, November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku # 60716, November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!
Haiku # 60715, November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku # 60714, November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET
by Wind Breaker of Wind
Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku # 60713, November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET
by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku # 60712, November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku # 60711, November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku # 60710, November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku # 60709, November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I do not
Haiku # 60708, November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku # 60707, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku # 60706, November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku # 60705, November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The dog has grinch feet
Haiku # 60704, November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even though I
Haiku # 60703, November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET
by Diarrhea dancer
With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku # 60702, November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET
by Acrobutt
Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku # 60701, November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET
by Sick person
Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku # 60700, November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku # 60699, November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku # 60698, November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
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