Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Melancholy Turd
Abandoned in Menswear aisle
On Fitting Room floor
Haiku # 60737 November 4, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Retail me Not of Menswear
Hard work, these poems
Up before sunrise, milking
Syllables. Smells foul.
Haiku # 60736 November 4, 2018 12:35 am ET
by Haiku farmer of Knee deep in chicken shit
Turkey shaped clogger
Forgot plunger in England
Call it Grog with Log
Haiku # 60735 November 3, 2018 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Up close.magnified
Every pore and crumb of shit
Anal Viewmaster
Haiku # 60734 November 3, 2018 11:10 pm ET
by Turdseyeview
Swinging high high high
Away I fly fly fly
Into a shitpile
Haiku # 60733 November 3, 2018 11:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That sounds G rated
Compared to Jim Bob's skill
Fuckbasting the Bird
Haiku # 60732 November 3, 2018 11:07 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Wipe me with the napkin, please... getting moist
Hard as Plymouth Rock
Wipe your hands on the stray dogs
Jizzed Brussels sprouts
Haiku # 60731 November 3, 2018 11:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I know what it is
Got a headless conjoined twin
Call it double junk
Haiku # 60730 November 3, 2018 11:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wouldn't know what DVDA was if not for Matt Stone and Trey Parker. What would Brian Boitano Do?
Haiku # 60729 November 3, 2018 10:52 pm ET
by
Thanksgiving themed porn.
Pilgrims bang Poke-a-hot-ass,
the big chief's daughter.

Let us bow our heads.
Lord, we thank you for this feast
of pussy and tits.

"I like the fish pie."
Licking whipped cream off her tits.
Let's stuff this here bird.

Mock English accents.
Olden-speak DVDA.
She was stuffed alright!
Haiku # 60728 November 3, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Pilgrims pulling penis
Pumpkin pie pig-out packs pounds
Pilgrim Poontang
Haiku # 60727 November 3, 2018 10:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them
Haiku # 60726 November 3, 2018 9:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter
Haiku # 60725 November 3, 2018 9:40 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus
Haiku # 60724 November 3, 2018 9:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.
Haiku # 60723 November 3, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.
Haiku # 60722 November 3, 2018 9:23 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?
Haiku # 60721 November 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET
by Choked and Stuffed Chicken
That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo
Haiku # 60720 November 3, 2018 7:35 pm ET
by Sure stinx
The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku # 60719 November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET
by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku # 60718 November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET
by He bites
Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku # 60717 November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku # 60716 November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!
Haiku # 60715 November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku # 60714 November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET
by Wind Breaker of Wind
Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku # 60713 November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET
by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku # 60712 November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET
by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku # 60711 November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku # 60710 November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku # 60709 November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I do not
Haiku # 60708 November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku # 60707 November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku # 60706 November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku # 60705 November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The dog has grinch feet
Haiku # 60704 November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Even though I
Haiku # 60703 November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET
by Diarrhea dancer
With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku # 60702 November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET
by Acrobutt
Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku # 60701 November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET
by Sick person
Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku # 60700 November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku # 60699 November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku # 60698 November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku # 60697 November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have diarrhea
Haiku # 60696 November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60695 November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Are midgets
Haiku # 60694 November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku # 60693 November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku # 60692 November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET
by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
I can smell Jesus
Like a hot musky tiger
Prowling for my soul
Haiku # 60691 November 3, 2018 12:26 am ET
by Religious Inexperience
I rigged all the votes.
President Figpucker has
a nice ring to it.
Haiku # 60690 November 2, 2018 8:00 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Starkitten, you'd just
need a small strap on green bean.
She would never know.
Haiku # 60689 November 2, 2018 7:44 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I'm so excited
about vote-rigging and fraud
Bring it on, twinkies
Haiku # 60688 November 2, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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