BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
279 Days
and
65606 Haikus
later...
No holiday guests
No holiday meal. Just toast
And peanut butter
Haiku #60741, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2018 12:50 am ET

You can see the stench
Haikus rotting in the sun
It's all your fault,dude
Haiku #60740, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2018 12:47 am ET

Peanut butter toast
Is my all time favorite meal
Can you dig it, babe
Haiku #60739, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2018 12:42 am ET

Swing by. Pick me up
Let's drive straight into the sun
Burn, motherfucker!
Haiku #60738, by Anonymous Poet
November 4, 2018 12:39 am ET

Melancholy Turd
Abandoned in Menswear aisle
On Fitting Room floor
Haiku #60737, by Retail me Not of Menswear
November 4, 2018 12:38 am ET

Hard work, these poems
Up before sunrise, milking
Syllables. Smells foul.
Haiku #60736, by Haiku farmer of Knee deep in chicken shit
November 4, 2018 12:35 am ET

Turkey shaped clogger
Forgot plunger in England
Call it Grog with Log
Haiku #60735, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:17 pm ET

Up close.magnified
Every pore and crumb of shit
Anal Viewmaster
Haiku #60734, by Turdseyeview
November 3, 2018 11:10 pm ET

Swinging high high high
Away I fly fly fly
Into a shitpile
Haiku #60733, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:08 pm ET

That sounds G rated
Compared to Jim Bob's skill
Fuckbasting the Bird
Haiku #60732, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Wipe me with the napkin, please... getting moist
November 3, 2018 11:07 pm ET

Hard as Plymouth Rock
Wipe your hands on the stray dogs
Jizzed Brussels sprouts
Haiku #60731, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:04 pm ET

I know what it is
Got a headless conjoined twin
Call it double junk
Haiku #60730, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:00 pm ET

I wouldn't know what DVDA was if not for Matt Stone and Trey Parker. What would Brian Boitano Do?
Haiku #60729, by
November 3, 2018 10:52 pm ET

Thanksgiving themed porn.
Pilgrims bang Poke-a-hot-ass,
the big chief's daughter.

Let us bow our heads.
Lord, we thank you for this feast
of pussy and tits.

"I like the fish pie."
Licking whipped cream off her tits.
Let's stuff this here bird.

Mock English accents.
Olden-speak DVDA.
She was stuffed alright!
Haiku #60728, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 10:50 pm ET

Pilgrims pulling penis
Pumpkin pie pig-out packs pounds
Pilgrim Poontang
Haiku #60727, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 10:46 pm ET

Hood boss VHS
He's in charge of pies this year
He'll prolly fuck them
Haiku #60726, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:44 pm ET

Making hand turkeys
So boring. Trace Grandad's schlong!
It's a shapeshifter
Haiku #60725, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:40 pm ET

Corn acreage here
Save the cobs to wipe our bums
Huge turkey wattle!

What a hearty meal
Feel free to unzip your pants
Free your blunderbus
Haiku #60724, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 9:36 pm ET

You say "circle jerk"
As if that would be a bad thing.
Turkey grease on palms.

Extra white gravy.
Do not let it go to waste.
Mixed with your stuffing.
Haiku #60723, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 9:27 pm ET

A bottled green gas
would be the perfect stinky
x-mas gift for me.

X-mas from the ass.
The lass passed gas from her ass,
bottled in clear gas.

The gas was off-green,
looking sort of like chlorine,
But much more toxic.
Haiku #60722, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 9:23 pm ET

The first Thanksgiving
Wasn't it a circle jerk
Around the table?
Haiku #60721, by Choked and Stuffed Chicken
November 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET

That ain't no crime, Darth
You left a work of art there
Hanging in the loo
Haiku #60720, by Sure stinx
November 3, 2018 7:35 pm ET

The longer I live
The more I look like Santa
I want to believe
Haiku #60719, by Big belly, whiskers, white hair, jolly eyes of And I have a vagina
November 3, 2018 7:27 pm ET

Forget about a kiss
Mistletoe Fellatio
A gift from our dog
Haiku #60718, by He bites
November 3, 2018 7:24 pm ET

Bottling my farts
To give as holiday gifts
Some are Grinch green, too
Haiku #60717, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 7:22 pm ET

Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt
Now shout it from the rooftops!
You can be a star
Haiku #60716, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET

I forgot to flush.
That's, my friend, my only crime.
Death sentence imposed.

Ah, fuck it, not in the mood to count.
5757575757557575757575. piss on it.

Take the o from count.
Then release your flatulence.
Then repeat step one.

You've got cunthfart cunt.

JOY!
Haiku #60715, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 6:19 pm ET

Breaking down the wind
One fart at a time. Mindful.
Yeah, God would like that
Haiku #60714, by Wind Breaker of Wind
November 3, 2018 6:11 pm ET

Sir Darth Figpucker
A fugitive from justice
Conditioner Theft
Haiku #60713, by Slipped out through the bars of the jail of Greased Longpig hard to catch
November 3, 2018 4:42 pm ET

Mustard on his dick
Ketchup on his balls. What's next?
Mayo on the walls
Haiku #60712, by Condiment for Condoms meant for of Formula 409
November 3, 2018 4:39 pm ET

An abusuve God
Who needs it. Trash Deadbeat dad
Dude, give it a rest
Haiku #60711, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 4:36 pm ET

You make the art here.
Get your head out of your ass.
Fear God. Then create.
Haiku #60710, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 11:46 am ET

Here there is no art.
I think I've said that before.
No one believes me.
Haiku #60709, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:27 am ET

I do not
Haiku #60708, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:26 am ET

Give that girl some mustard!
Haiku #60707, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET

The penis is a hot dog.
Haiku #60706, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:25 am ET

The Grinch has dog penis.
Haiku #60705, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 8:24 am ET

The dog has grinch feet
Haiku #60704, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 1:48 am ET

Even though I
Haiku #60703, by Diarrhea dancer
November 3, 2018 1:25 am ET

With each somersault
I release diarrhea
Look, I made a trail
Haiku #60702, by Acrobutt
November 3, 2018 1:22 am ET

Doc. Darth Figpucker
His Haiku can cure the sick
Stop Diarrhea
Haiku #60701, by Sick person
November 3, 2018 1:21 am ET

Do midgets have big dicks?
Or do they just look bigger
On midget body
Haiku #60700, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 1:17 am ET

YOU give her cunnilingus.
Haiku #60699, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 3, 2018 1:13 am ET

It only lets me write one line of haiku
Haiku #60698, by Because I have watery of Diarrhea
November 3, 2018 12:57 am ET

Give your wife cunnilingus
Haiku #60697, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:55 am ET

I have diarrhea
Haiku #60696, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:54 am ET

Are midgets
Haiku #60695, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET

Are midgets
Haiku #60694, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:42 am ET

Wanted to goose you
Make your neck hairs stand on end
Maybe something else
Haiku #60693, by Anonymous Poet
November 3, 2018 12:40 am ET

Just want a smidgen
I guess I need new sandals
You hear me creepin
Haiku #60692, by Jeez us of Eye of the Tiger
November 3, 2018 12:38 am ET