Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 313 Days and 72106 Haikus later...

Your friend Starkitten
S T A U N C H
Like Little Edie
Haiku # 59923, October 8, 2018 1:20 pm ET
by Staunch Character of Grey Gardens
Goose Honking Season
Looked up..Pterodactyls!!
Drunk on Jeff Daniels
Haiku # 59922, October 8, 2018 12:33 pm ET
by Dyslexic Alcoholics of Behind Edie Brickell at the liquor store
Which does God hate more,
poets, homosexuals,
or Justin Bieber?
Haiku # 59921, October 8, 2018 11:57 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's not easy to
make the second line shorter
than the other two.
Haiku # 59920, October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
He stood mouth agape.
Her enormous vagina
left him quite speechless.
Haiku # 59919, October 8, 2018 10:59 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Keep your computer
on auto refresh so you
can post new haiku.
Haiku # 59918, October 8, 2018 6:55 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worship the sun God.
Almighty Rah, show us your love.
Make this ganja grow!
Haiku # 59917, October 8, 2018 6:54 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Popeye did gay porn.
When he ate spinach, look out.
Sphincter muskle clamp.

But all that fiber
made for messy money shots.
Set screw clean up hell.
Haiku # 59916, October 8, 2018 6:51 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Motorcycle Priest
Putting hickeys on the nuns
Passing out Funyuns
Haiku # 59915, October 8, 2018 6:20 am ET
by Sister lnhalealotta
Those kids had no eyes
Sockets filled with black olives
Six inch extra meat
Haiku # 59914, October 8, 2018 6:07 am ET
by Malachi
sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff
wag wag wag i'm a good boy
ears perk up - SQUIRREL!
Haiku # 59913, October 8, 2018 3:34 am ET
by Black Lab of local park
Jared from Subway
A pedophile meets his match
The Black Eyed Children
Haiku # 59912, October 8, 2018 3:31 am ET
by EAT HIS SOUL
The black lab version
Squeeze a can of tennis balls
Wag Wag Wag Wag Wag
Haiku # 59911, October 8, 2018 3:30 am ET
by Starkitten
Spinach does the trick
Squeeze the can. Gulp Gulp Gulp
Admire my Muskles
Haiku # 59910, October 8, 2018 3:26 am ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest dented cans
Frosted Haggis Flakes
infernal itching! Fuck wool!
Argyle Sock Condom!
Haiku # 59909, October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET
by Something Something of Heavering
Popeye also was
what he was, except when he
wore Olive's dresses.
Haiku # 59908, October 8, 2018 3:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Plaid Kaleidoscope
Rod Stewart's old tartan spew
Clean out the bagpipe
Haiku # 59907, October 8, 2018 3:16 am ET
by Starkitten of High road
Sniffing the chair seats
Just after people get up
A low cost hobby
Haiku # 59906, October 8, 2018 3:10 am ET
by Frugal Freddy of Movie seats that smell like cheese and feet
Lying beside you
After the crash.Detached twat
Has covered your face
Haiku # 59905, October 8, 2018 3:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of Sung to Highway Crash Journey song whatever
I know that you know
That I know you know that I
Know that you know that
Haiku # 59904, October 8, 2018 2:49 am ET
by Starkitten
My pet snake teaching
Me some really cool new tricks
Then I throw him down
Haiku # 59903, October 8, 2018 1:35 am ET
by Ophiuchus
We played cards instead
Unconsummated marriage
Strip Poker. Go Fish.
Haiku # 59902, October 8, 2018 12:31 am ET
by Old Maid of Undisclosed Pacfic Northwest Location
O'dor doo Toilet
Fecal Contamination
Chanel Number 2
Haiku # 59901, October 8, 2018 12:26 am ET
by Gwynneth Paltrow of Goopwich, CT
If I wore a bra
Or panties for that matter
I'd fling them on stage
Haiku # 59900, October 8, 2018 12:17 am ET
by Jonesin for Tom Jones of Who now looks like Robert Plant's evil twin
Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world
Or never belong
I gotta be me
I've got to be me
What else can I be
But what I am?
Haiku # 59899, October 7, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by Tony Clifton, Jr. of Las Vegas
Brought up in a barn
And he was hung like a horse.
Meet Bamboo Harvester
Haiku # 59898, October 7, 2018 10:50 pm ET
by Starkitten of Mr. Ed Fan Club
Bring me a long rod
Stacked with two dozen doughnuts
That's a midnight snack
Haiku # 59897, October 7, 2018 10:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thought you'd like to know
All eyebrows are falling out
Whiskerless kitten
Haiku # 59896, October 7, 2018 10:45 pm ET
by Starkitten
Pussy farts!
Haiku # 59895, October 7, 2018 10:44 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I just, you know, had to throw that in there.
John-boy's mole has souls.
Six point oh two two times 10...
Oh, fuck it, you know.

Enough damned souls to
fill hell to the brimstone gas
root mean square speed fiend.
Haiku # 59894, October 7, 2018 10:34 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Double Cage Fight Time!!
Paul Simon and Daryl Hall
Fight Garfunkel/Oates
Haiku # 59893, October 7, 2018 9:56 pm ET
by Edie Brickell of Had it up to here
John Boy Walton's mole
Do you think it has a soul?
Could go either way
Haiku # 59892, October 7, 2018 9:53 pm ET
by John Boy Walton's plantars wart of Foot region
Forgotten Mooncake
Now a doorstop. Hey, come in..
See Hairy Sunrise
Haiku # 59891, October 7, 2018 9:27 pm ET
by Starkitten
Cleaning my haiku
In front of you..scrub a Doo
Guitar Solo Now!
Haiku # 59890, October 7, 2018 9:21 pm ET
by Yeah, I'm hooked on meth of Method all purpose cleaner
Knicky knacky Knew
Gave the whole barnyard a screw
Had a standing O
Haiku # 59889, October 7, 2018 9:14 pm ET
by Ovation.. more than just getting the clap.still washing mud and hoofprints of Even tried to fellate the scarecrow
If you were forced to,
which farm animal would you,
you know, do it with?
Haiku # 59888, October 7, 2018 8:58 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Oh, that's some good shit.
Fuck the pigs! Fuck 'em I say!
Meaning cops, not swine.
Haiku # 59887, October 7, 2018 8:56 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Oh, almost forgot.
Need to deliver this meth.
Maybe one more line.
Haiku # 59886, October 7, 2018 8:53 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Mental note: Return.
Scout around for body parts.
For trophy or snack.
Haiku # 59885, October 7, 2018 8:52 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Common occurrence.
Drunk asshole on motor bike.
Hell, I'll drink to that.
Haiku # 59884, October 7, 2018 8:50 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The more dead people,
the more room there is for me.
Multiple car crash.
Haiku # 59883, October 7, 2018 8:49 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Zit pus mirror splat.
Cock throttle chicken choker.
Coffee, meth, whiskey.
Haiku # 59882, October 7, 2018 8:47 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of at my uncle Jim Bob's house picking up a delivery.
Pink sand, flamingoes
Hammock. Palm fronds..ABBA girls
Wake up VHS!
Haiku # 59881, October 7, 2018 5:34 pm ET
by Starkitten of Gimme Gimme some Bad Haiku
Hey man, I just did
a quick search of the tree
And medicinal scones
Haiku # 59880, October 7, 2018 2:42 pm ET
by Starkitten
in the name of jesus
cheist would it not be nice
if you would stop extending

your suicide upon
the rest of humanity
by His blood and Grace...

people make choices
good, bad, breakfast...get your ass
into the idea you are part of

Gaia, not a disease!!
Haiku # 59879, October 7, 2018 10:18 am ET
by vhs
Jury's will acquit.
Innocent by influence of
horrible poems.
Haiku # 59878, October 7, 2018 6:40 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You are innocent.
For all the horrors you do.
Blame my poetry.
Haiku # 59877, October 7, 2018 6:38 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Wouldn't it be nice
If the sun blew up the Earth?
Incineration
Haiku # 59876, October 7, 2018 2:14 am ET
by Have Mercy and kill us all at once
He pissed bright yellow
Vitamin taxi-cab hue.
House flies on steroids.

Staining the tile.
Like a cathedral window.
Kneel, bow, and pray.

Oooo! An M-&-M!
What was I talking about?
Rolph, hurl, barf, splat.
Haiku # 59875, October 6, 2018 11:39 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worship the dollar.
Throw dollars at the whores' feet.
Kiss their filthy toes.

Where's enlightenment?
Lighten your load underneath.
Best you can hope for.

Dead President God.
Green paper watermark slut.
Plucked deep from her butt.

Evacuated.
Vacant, empty, and soulless.
Ejaculated.
Haiku # 59874, October 6, 2018 11:09 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
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