Which does God hate more,
poets, homosexuals,
or Justin Bieber?
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
It's not easy to
make the second line shorter
than the other two.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
He stood mouth agape.
Her enormous vagina
left him quite speechless.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Keep your computer
on auto refresh so you
can post new haiku.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worship the sun God.
Almighty Rah, show us your love.
Make this ganja grow!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Popeye did gay porn.
When he ate spinach, look out.
Sphincter muskle clamp.
But all that fiber
made for messy money shots.
Set screw clean up hell.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Motorcycle Priest
Putting hickeys on the nuns
Passing out Funyuns
by Sister lnhalealotta
Those kids had no eyes
Sockets filled with black olives
Six inch extra meat
by Malachi
sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff
wag wag wag i'm a good boy
ears perk up - SQUIRREL!
by Black Lab of local park
Jared from Subway
A pedophile meets his match
The Black Eyed Children
by EAT HIS SOUL
The black lab version
Squeeze a can of tennis balls
Wag Wag Wag Wag Wag
by Starkitten
Spinach does the trick
Squeeze the can. Gulp Gulp Gulp
Admire my Muskles
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest dented cans
Frosted Haggis Flakes
infernal itching! Fuck wool!
Argyle Sock Condom!
by Something Something of Heavering
Popeye also was
what he was, except when he
wore Olive's dresses.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Plaid Kaleidoscope
Rod Stewart's old tartan spew
Clean out the bagpipe
by Starkitten of High road
Sniffing the chair seats
Just after people get up
A low cost hobby
by Frugal Freddy of Movie seats that smell like cheese and feet
Lying beside you
After the crash.Detached twat
Has covered your face
by Anonymous Poet of Sung to Highway Crash Journey song whatever
I know that you know
That I know you know that I
Know that you know that
by Starkitten
My pet snake teaching
Me some really cool new tricks
Then I throw him down
by Ophiuchus
We played cards instead
Unconsummated marriage
Strip Poker. Go Fish.
by Old Maid of Undisclosed Pacfic Northwest Location
O'dor doo Toilet
Fecal Contamination
Chanel Number 2
by Gwynneth Paltrow of Goopwich, CT
If I wore a bra
Or panties for that matter
I'd fling them on stage
by Jonesin for Tom Jones of Who now looks like Robert Plant's evil twin
Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world
Or never belong
I gotta be me
I've got to be me
What else can I be
But what I am?
by Tony Clifton, Jr. of Las Vegas
Brought up in a barn
And he was hung like a horse.
Meet Bamboo Harvester
by Starkitten of Mr. Ed Fan Club
Bring me a long rod
Stacked with two dozen doughnuts
That's a midnight snack
by Anonymous Poet
Thought you'd like to know
All eyebrows are falling out
Whiskerless kitten
by Starkitten
Pussy farts!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of I just, you know, had to throw that in there.
John-boy's mole has souls.
Six point oh two two times 10...
Oh, fuck it, you know.
Enough damned souls to
fill hell to the brimstone gas
root mean square speed fiend.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Double Cage Fight Time!!
Paul Simon and Daryl Hall
Fight Garfunkel/Oates
by Edie Brickell of Had it up to here
John Boy Walton's mole
Do you think it has a soul?
Could go either way
by John Boy Walton's plantars wart of Foot region
Forgotten Mooncake
Now a doorstop. Hey, come in..
See Hairy Sunrise
by Starkitten
Cleaning my haiku
In front of you..scrub a Doo
Guitar Solo Now!
by Yeah, I'm hooked on meth of Method all purpose cleaner
Knicky knacky Knew
Gave the whole barnyard a screw
Had a standing O
by Ovation.. more than just getting the clap.still washing mud and hoofprints of Even tried to fellate the scarecrow
If you were forced to,
which farm animal would you,
you know, do it with?
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Oh, that's some good shit.
Fuck the pigs! Fuck 'em I say!
Meaning cops, not swine.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Oh, almost forgot.
Need to deliver this meth.
Maybe one more line.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Mental note: Return.
Scout around for body parts.
For trophy or snack.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Common occurrence.
Drunk asshole on motor bike.
Hell, I'll drink to that.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The more dead people,
the more room there is for me.
Multiple car crash.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Zit pus mirror splat.
Cock throttle chicken choker.
Coffee, meth, whiskey.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER of at my uncle Jim Bob's house picking up a delivery.
Pink sand, flamingoes
Hammock. Palm fronds..ABBA girls
Wake up VHS!
by Starkitten of Gimme Gimme some Bad Haiku
Hey man, I just did
a quick search of the tree
And medicinal scones
by Starkitten
in the name of jesus
cheist would it not be nice
if you would stop extending
your suicide upon
the rest of humanity
by His blood and Grace...
people make choices
good, bad, breakfast...get your ass
into the idea you are part of
Gaia, not a disease!!
by vhs
Jury's will acquit.
Innocent by influence of
horrible poems.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
You are innocent.
For all the horrors you do.
Blame my poetry.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Wouldn't it be nice
If the sun blew up the Earth?
Incineration
by Have Mercy and kill us all at once
He pissed bright yellow
Vitamin taxi-cab hue.
House flies on steroids.
Staining the tile.
Like a cathedral window.
Kneel, bow, and pray.
Oooo! An M-&-M!
What was I talking about?
Rolph, hurl, barf, splat.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Worship the dollar.
Throw dollars at the whores' feet.
Kiss their filthy toes.
Where's enlightenment?
Lighten your load underneath.
Best you can hope for.
Dead President God.
Green paper watermark slut.
Plucked deep from her butt.
Evacuated.
Vacant, empty, and soulless.
Ejaculated.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Twat waffle whiskey.
Papa Smurf's guilty secret.
Fermented dingles.
Better than shingles.
Stripper's pole disinfectant.
Was he expectant?
Phlegm on dollar bills.
Expect the expectorant.
Rob-DM tripping.
Smurf Berry syrup.
High strength hollow sin again.
Hallow-sin-a-gin.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER'S SENTIENT TESTICLES
Kitten and Cobain
Both mercury in Pisces
Nineteen sixty seven
by Starkitten of Aberdeen slinking around
