Spinach does the trick
Squeeze the can. Gulp Gulp Gulp
Admire my Muskles

Frosted Haggis Flakes
infernal itching! Fuck wool!
Argyle Sock Condom!

Popeye also was
what he was, except when he
wore Olive's dresses.

Plaid Kaleidoscope
Rod Stewart's old tartan spew
Clean out the bagpipe

Sniffing the chair seats
Just after people get up
A low cost hobby

Lying beside you
After the crash.Detached twat
Has covered your face

I know that you know
That I know you know that I
Know that you know that

My pet snake teaching
Me some really cool new tricks
Then I throw him down

We played cards instead
Unconsummated marriage
Strip Poker. Go Fish.

O'dor doo Toilet
Fecal Contamination
Chanel Number 2

If I wore a bra
Or panties for that matter
I'd fling them on stage

Whether I'm right
Or whether I'm wrong
Whether I find a place in this world
Or never belong
I gotta be me
I've got to be me
What else can I be
But what I am?

Brought up in a barn
And he was hung like a horse.
Meet Bamboo Harvester

Bring me a long rod
Stacked with two dozen doughnuts
That's a midnight snack

Thought you'd like to know
All eyebrows are falling out
Whiskerless kitten

Pussy farts!

John-boy's mole has souls.
Six point oh two two times 10...
Oh, fuck it, you know.

Enough damned souls to
fill hell to the brimstone gas
root mean square speed fiend.

Double Cage Fight Time!!
Paul Simon and Daryl Hall
Fight Garfunkel/Oates

John Boy Walton's mole
Do you think it has a soul?
Could go either way

Forgotten Mooncake
Now a doorstop. Hey, come in..
See Hairy Sunrise

Cleaning my haiku
In front of you..scrub a Doo
Guitar Solo Now!

Knicky knacky Knew
Gave the whole barnyard a screw
Had a standing O

If you were forced to,
which farm animal would you,
you know, do it with?

Oh, that's some good shit.
Fuck the pigs! Fuck 'em I say!
Meaning cops, not swine.

Oh, almost forgot.
Need to deliver this meth.
Maybe one more line.

Mental note: Return.
Scout around for body parts.
For trophy or snack.

Common occurrence.
Drunk asshole on motor bike.
Hell, I'll drink to that.

The more dead people,
the more room there is for me.
Multiple car crash.

Zit pus mirror splat.
Cock throttle chicken choker.
Coffee, meth, whiskey.

Pink sand, flamingoes
Hammock. Palm fronds..ABBA girls
Wake up VHS!

Hey man, I just did
a quick search of the tree
And medicinal scones

in the name of jesus
cheist would it not be nice
if you would stop extending

your suicide upon
the rest of humanity
by His blood and Grace...

people make choices
good, bad, breakfast...get your ass
into the idea you are part of

Gaia, not a disease!!

Jury's will acquit.
Innocent by influence of
horrible poems.

You are innocent.
For all the horrors you do.
Blame my poetry.

Wouldn't it be nice
If the sun blew up the Earth?
Incineration

He pissed bright yellow
Vitamin taxi-cab hue.
House flies on steroids.

Staining the tile.
Like a cathedral window.
Kneel, bow, and pray.

Oooo! An M-&-M!
What was I talking about?
Rolph, hurl, barf, splat.

Worship the dollar.
Throw dollars at the whores' feet.
Kiss their filthy toes.

Where's enlightenment?
Lighten your load underneath.
Best you can hope for.

Dead President God.
Green paper watermark slut.
Plucked deep from her butt.

Evacuated.
Vacant, empty, and soulless.
Ejaculated.

Twat waffle whiskey.
Papa Smurf's guilty secret.
Fermented dingles.

Better than shingles.
Stripper's pole disinfectant.
Was he expectant?

Phlegm on dollar bills.
Expect the expectorant.
Rob-DM tripping.

Smurf Berry syrup.
High strength hollow sin again.
Hallow-sin-a-gin.

Kitten and Cobain
Both mercury in Pisces
Nineteen sixty seven

if kurt cobain
was still alive would he have ever
achieved nirvana?

Girl reads newspapers.
And has a novel on hand.
Fuck that is sexy.

Sister's a Mister
A nun with a big ten inch
Hard habit to break

Haiku should not rhyme.
If you do that is a crime.
Disgusting butt slime.

Drop the bass, Lawrence!
Did you ever look so nice?
A cute angina

Fuck I've work to do.
So behind and this I do.
Writing bad haiku.

Former employer
Found hacked apart. Axe murder
Now, dont look at me...

50 years from now.
Nursing home stereo blares,
"Fuck the pain away!"

The orderlies laugh.
Old people don't know music.
Never have nor will.

Young lad, listen here
Commando 24/7
Neigh, No more jockeys!!

Marilyn Manson,
Peaches, Nine Inch Nails, Gwar,
Ghost Pepper Cock Rub.

If you're commando,
make sure your barn door is closed;
stay out of jail.