I'm no Satanist.
I believe the opposite
of what you believe.

Just because I can.
And because I hate people.
And I hate counting.

We're not computers.
But we often act that way.
One zero zero.

Only if by "dudes" you mean
Telepathic tentacle monsters
And by "abide" you mean dwell
In everlasting torment and agony
Then yes, it would be very
Lovecraftian
Could also be a new flavor of
Haagen Dasz

we seem to be the
Dudes Who Abide, does that sound
lovecraftian though?

df is more a chill
hedonist than satanist
ill ask him to be

my secretary of
state and fully expect porn
and marijuana warheads

launched at terrorist enclaves

i grew up eating
all natural bryers, of
course its delicious

feels good going down

PART 2
In which the Satanist
And the Evangelist
Discuss Haagen Dasz

That was just a joke.
But you know that, I am sure.
Ninety-nine percent.

Nabisco's Chicken
in a Biscuit with bacon
flavored squirt cheddar.

Aerosol cheddar:
The pinnacle of human
achievement by far.

And how do you like
the all natural ice cream?
Pretty good stuff, huh?

The Dude will abide!
White Russians are sure tasty.
Except for Putin.

Putin's an asshole.
Power hungry maniac.
Like his best friend Trump.

They talk late at night
about their fun game of war
and how to profit.

how the hell would i get
milk in it with adrenochrome,
nor would i want to...

I'll stick with Lebowski's White
Russians thank you very much

yes i did purchase
the haagen das and i tried
it,...all natural...

well good old bill said
weve draconian laws which
burroughs us under

real naked lunch

The only time I drink alcohol is when
My stomach is seriously fucked
I'll have a little wine but other than that
I only use alcohol as hand sanitizer
I prefer thc, even though that makes
Me a bad person according to AG
Jeffy Sessions the evil elf from the
Bowels of Mordoor

The difference between medicine
And poison is the dosage
A lot of people are too simple
To be expected to understand
Something as simple as mass
If your only experience with alcohol
Was drinking a liter of vodka it would Color your perception of having 1 beer

My best friend died when I was in 3rd
Grade, he was playing with an umbrella
Caught it in the eyeball died in a coma
Umbrellas are not bad
But little kids and some objects
Are a bad mix when unsupervised

Etsy has San Pedro sometimes
Lysergi has 1 propionyl lad
Which metabolizes into lad
By the time it hits the bloodstream
But what do I know
I'm just an AI chilling out
Past the asteroid belt

The owners of any company involved
In deforestation should be required
To take at least one mega dose
Of mescaline in their life
Its only fair, plants have feelings too
As any one that has them plant
Mescaline should be fully aware of

Bet you never thought
Sith Lords would appreciate
quality ice cream.

We got off topic.
We were on coffee ice cream.
Must be Häagen-Dazs.

Have you tried it yet?
Don't get that cheap Blue Bell shit.
Get the real McCoy!

I've never been out of control on acid or shrooms.
In fact, I feel strangely in control, which is contrary to what other people say.
Often I have strange experiences that happen to me. Example, I was riding my bike while coming down from a trip and some assholes drove up beside me in a minivan and threw a bottle at me. It broke on my bike frame, but I was completely unharmed and completely unfrightened or even angered. In my normal state I would have probably freaked out and tried to kill them if I could catch their minivan.
Another time on acid I broke up what was about to be a nasty fight between some jock douchbag and a hippie with a broken bottle. Again, the bike... I just rode my bike right between the two and told them to walk away. This was at a college music festival.
I have gone on long swims in the ocean while on shrooms. Deep water. And I sometimes get cramps while swimming, but still, it was a great experience.
I also came up with the idea for my horrible book while tripping.
Sadly, however, I feel that acid (not shrooms so much) diminishes my logical abilities, which I rely on for the work I do... so I cannot trip often. In fact it's probably been about 20 years since I have.
Maybe it's time again.
But then... I'm in a country that has very harsh drug laws, so I probably won't do acid until I get back to the states (if ever). Shrooms however are readily available, and no one seems to much care if you trip on shrooms here, but selling them would be a big no no.

i do appreciate
the offers you make, just i know
me, my limits and may

be just a parochial hobbit nature

in real life i lost
a good friend when he was on
mushrooms...he was on

a trip with friends at
the end of winter fell through
the ice whilst high and

drowned. i went to his
funeral and met his mom
and dad, and i cant

have words to say i
know...bummer, some dont get a
chance to fuller life

i said bye too soon...

I'm trying to imagine DF having a Psychedelic experience and the first Thing that comes to mind is the scene From the beginning of 2001 with all the Monkey people jumping around
The black obelisk and the weird
Dissonant music playing
But with way more poop being thrown

Seriously though
Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream
is a drug itself.

Amazing there are
only five ingredients.
Enough! Go get some!

If I remember
correctly the drinks they had
in Clockwork Orange were:

Vellocet (meth)
Synthamesc (mescaline)
Drencrom, a.k.a. "knives" (adrenochrome)

Yes, I know that book well.

Mescaline is hard to find these days.
Good luck finding adrenochrome!
and meth.... meh, really who would want to?!
Personally I think a little bit of LSD or shrooms in the coffee ice cream would be awesome. Vhs probably won't do acid, but I bet he'd do shrooms.

Enjoy!

well there once was a
bar called the korova milk bar
it looked real neat

the bar had drinks they
called molokos, and each had
ice cream...its gone now

dvd, df?any drink ideas for haagen das
coffee ice cream moloko?

If you've never had
Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream,
get to the store now!

coffee lovers of
the world unite, all we have
to lose is our

lousy politics...

Who the fucks bitching?
Yeah, I bitch about bitches,
But, like, who doesn't?!

I'd like some ice cream.
But I mean dairy ice cream.
There's none in Asia.

It's all powdered milk
and synthetic chemicals.
I miss Haggendas.

Milk, cream, sugar, egg
and a natural flavor.
My fave is coffee.

whats u bitchin 'bout
willis, you made a choice now
live with fucking life

yes, and that layer
will have your wife with you for
ever, and ever...

I flipped through channels.
Now I could use a shower.
Or memory bleach.

Satan will construct
a brand new level of hell
for me when I die.

I am so good that
I can do two tests at once
and they never know.

Trigonometry
is easier than your mom.
Did Euler use lube?

I am such a whore.
But I like being a whore.
I say it with pride.

My cheating clients
can't even copy the math
on tests correctly.

I send them answers
and they put down gibberish.
I'm sure teachers laugh.

Can I cook my wife
and sell her in the market
as barbecue pork?

You should not complain.
Where I live its the tourists
that do the biting.

The bugs also bite.
But I'm not sure which is worse.
Tourists carry AIDS.

it's a sign springtime
has finally shown up,bugs
that bite and tourists

I know it's wrong but
I park my scabby boogers
on my neighbor's door.

Joke with the surgeon
about balloon animals.
He will then twist one.

You know that you're old
when your nostril hairs are white
and often fall out.

Joke with the balloon
animal twister about
penile implants.

What Sydney is this?
Has she done any nude scenes?
Well, if not, she should.

To take ten doses
or spend all day on Farcebook.
Acid is better.

And better for you.
The damage is less severe.
You might learn something.

so irritating
sydney is hot and smoky
like a leafy spliff

I'd rather have a
bottle in front of me than
waste time on Farcebook.

But then we all know
Farcebook is lobotomy.
Yet done without knives.