Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

I'm trying to imagine DF having a Psychedelic experience and the first Thing that comes to mind is the scene From the beginning of 2001 with all the Monkey people jumping around
The black obelisk and the weird
Dissonant music playing
But with way more poop being thrown
Haiku # 58417, April 14, 2018 9:41 pm ET
by HAL of Jupiter
Seriously though
Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream
is a drug itself.

Amazing there are
only five ingredients.
Enough! Go get some!
Haiku # 58416, April 14, 2018 7:16 pm ET
by df
If I remember
correctly the drinks they had
in Clockwork Orange were:

Vellocet (meth)
Synthamesc (mescaline)
Drencrom, a.k.a. "knives" (adrenochrome)

Yes, I know that book well.

Mescaline is hard to find these days.
Good luck finding adrenochrome!
and meth.... meh, really who would want to?!
Personally I think a little bit of LSD or shrooms in the coffee ice cream would be awesome. Vhs probably won't do acid, but I bet he'd do shrooms.

Haiku # 58415, April 14, 2018 7:07 pm ET
by df
well there once was a
bar called the korova milk bar
it looked real neat

the bar had drinks they
called molokos, and each had
ice cream...its gone now

dvd, df?any drink ideas for haagen das
coffee ice cream moloko?
Haiku # 58414, April 14, 2018 3:01 pm ET
by vhs de large of behave my droogs
If you've never had
Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream,
get to the store now!
Haiku # 58413, April 14, 2018 12:01 pm ET
by df
coffee lovers of
the world unite, all we have
to lose is our

lousy politics...
Haiku # 58412, April 14, 2018 10:47 am ET
by vhs
Who the fucks bitching?
Yeah, I bitch about bitches,
But, like, who doesn't?!
Haiku # 58411, April 14, 2018 12:01 am ET
by df
I'd like some ice cream.
But I mean dairy ice cream.
There's none in Asia.

It's all powdered milk
and synthetic chemicals.
I miss Haggendas.

Milk, cream, sugar, egg
and a natural flavor.
My fave is coffee.
Haiku # 58410, April 13, 2018 11:59 pm ET
by df
whats u bitchin 'bout
willis, you made a choice now
live with fucking life
Haiku # 58409, April 13, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by vhs
yes, and that layer
will have your wife with you for
ever, and ever...
Haiku # 58408, April 13, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by vhs of ...john three sixteen hmm?
I flipped through channels.
Now I could use a shower.
Or memory bleach.
Haiku # 58407, April 13, 2018 11:54 pm ET
by df of TV sucks
Satan will construct
a brand new level of hell
for me when I die.
Haiku # 58406, April 13, 2018 6:56 pm ET
by df
I am so good that
I can do two tests at once
and they never know.
Haiku # 58405, April 13, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by df
is easier than your mom.
Did Euler use lube?
Haiku # 58404, April 13, 2018 6:43 pm ET
by df
I am such a whore.
But I like being a whore.
I say it with pride.
Haiku # 58403, April 13, 2018 6:40 pm ET
by df
My cheating clients
can't even copy the math
on tests correctly.

I send them answers
and they put down gibberish.
I'm sure teachers laugh.
Haiku # 58402, April 13, 2018 6:35 pm ET
by df
Can I cook my wife
and sell her in the market
as barbecue pork?
Haiku # 58401, April 13, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by df
You should not complain.
Where I live its the tourists
that do the biting.

The bugs also bite.
But I'm not sure which is worse.
Tourists carry AIDS.
Haiku # 58400, April 13, 2018 6:22 pm ET
by df
it's a sign springtime
has finally shown up,bugs
that bite and tourists
Haiku # 58399, April 13, 2018 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
I know it's wrong but
I park my scabby boogers
on my neighbor's door.
Haiku # 58398, April 13, 2018 10:49 am ET
by df
Joke with the surgeon
about balloon animals.
He will then twist one.
Haiku # 58396, April 13, 2018 10:43 am ET
by df
You know that you're old
when your nostril hairs are white
and often fall out.
Haiku # 58395, April 13, 2018 10:40 am ET
by df
Joke with the balloon
animal twister about
penile implants.
Haiku # 58394, April 13, 2018 10:37 am ET
by df
What Sydney is this?
Has she done any nude scenes?
Well, if not, she should.
Haiku # 58393, April 13, 2018 10:33 am ET
by df
To take ten doses
or spend all day on Farcebook.
Acid is better.

And better for you.
The damage is less severe.
You might learn something.
Haiku # 58392, April 13, 2018 10:31 am ET
by df
so irritating
sydney is hot and smoky
like a leafy spliff
Haiku # 58391, April 13, 2018 10:31 am ET
by ash
I'd rather have a
bottle in front of me than
waste time on Farcebook.

But then we all know
Farcebook is lobotomy.
Yet done without knives.
Haiku # 58390, April 13, 2018 10:29 am ET
by df
We are doomed to fail.
All cancer murders its host.
It's all about greed.
Haiku # 58389, April 13, 2018 10:26 am ET
by df
She sits on the bench
furiously scribbling
her putrid dull verse.
Haiku # 58388, April 13, 2018 10:24 am ET
by df
well as usual
im stumped...ill watch fawlty
towers tomorrow

on vhs ;)
Haiku # 58387, April 12, 2018 11:12 pm ET
by vhs
Do giraffes give head?
Would one blow a blue whale?
Think of this at church.
Haiku # 58386, April 12, 2018 2:33 pm ET
by df of correct spelling this time
Have you ever seen
the youtube vid where chimps rape
frogs -- they know something.
Haiku # 58385, April 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET
by df
Do giraffes give head?
Would one blow a blue whale?
This of this at church.
Haiku # 58384, April 12, 2018 2:28 pm ET
by df
Which is more boring,
calculus or bad haiku?
They both use numbers.
Haiku # 58383, April 12, 2018 2:24 pm ET
by df
Frogs do not want me.
On my wife's that depraved.
I'd rather do frogs.
Haiku # 58382, April 12, 2018 2:20 pm ET
by df
Too much hot pepper
on my parmesan pizza.
Regrets in the end.
Haiku # 58381, April 12, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by df
the norm used to be
people didn't have access
to what kind of cheese

you liked on your burger
now it is on the wiki
page to all be seen
Haiku # 58380, April 12, 2018 12:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
would you let a frog
have sex with you then , ever
seen hell comes to frogtown?

rowdy roddy piper...
Haiku # 58379, April 12, 2018 10:31 am ET
by vhs
Frogs have more talent
than karaoke singers
and are sexier.
Haiku # 58378, April 12, 2018 9:26 am ET
by df
Whose head?
What is "it"?
Hawking time
Preparing for female anatomy joke
Haiku # 58377, April 12, 2018 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i thought this was it
now that times are coming to
a head...this is it
Haiku # 58376, April 12, 2018 12:52 am ET
by vhs
i'll have one hotdog, please
Haiku # 58375, April 11, 2018 7:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of The Wiener's Circle
"The Wieners Circle is a hot dog stand on Clark Street in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, United States. It is known for its Maxwell Street Polish, Char-dogs, hamburgers, cheese fries, and the mutual verbal abuse between the employees and the customers during the late-weekend hours"
Haiku # 58374, April 11, 2018 5:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
meh we all have a
controversial bad guy each
era...then folks get

that person confronted
Haiku # 58373, April 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by vhs
they are now setting
up the stake for Zuckerberg
facebook the music
Haiku # 58372, April 10, 2018 4:13 pm ET
by vhs
problem is like a
certain barbarella
how many sex robots

would i break in the
process of being down with
the sex robot gals
Haiku # 58371, April 10, 2018 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
Sexworkers (synthetic and organic) Birth control, homosexuality
Disruption of the reproductive cycle
More for me down the road
Haiku # 58370, April 10, 2018 11:33 am ET
by Optimistic Realist of that strange mystical place known as acceptance of circumstamces
One man's drug is just
Other man's technology
Cyborgs be cyborgs
Haiku # 58369, April 10, 2018 11:25 am ET
by Cyborg
ive always wanted a
good absinthe not
keen on hard drugs here...

my mind is too damn
weird, but i say its your deal, go
for it, let me be

im already within..

i tend to think introverts already
have a sort of connection within
you might say
Haiku # 58368, April 10, 2018 10:37 am ET
by vhs
Breakdown of sensation of LSD:
1 hour in: "this isn't that weird"
2 hours in: "alright this is kinda weird"
? hours in: "there is a swarm of nanobots crawling around on my neural DNA, and it weirds me out that I can actually feel that"
It mechanically alters DNA structure
Haiku # 58367, April 10, 2018 5:33 am ET
by Luke Whystalker of The Death Star (it was an inside job)
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