Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

whats u bitchin 'bout
willis, you made a choice now
live with fucking life
Haiku # 58409, April 13, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by vhs
yes, and that layer
will have your wife with you for
ever, and ever...
Haiku # 58408, April 13, 2018 11:55 pm ET
by vhs of ...john three sixteen hmm?
I flipped through channels.
Now I could use a shower.
Or memory bleach.
Haiku # 58407, April 13, 2018 11:54 pm ET
by df of TV sucks
Satan will construct
a brand new level of hell
for me when I die.
Haiku # 58406, April 13, 2018 6:56 pm ET
by df
I am so good that
I can do two tests at once
and they never know.
Haiku # 58405, April 13, 2018 6:52 pm ET
by df
is easier than your mom.
Did Euler use lube?
Haiku # 58404, April 13, 2018 6:43 pm ET
by df
I am such a whore.
But I like being a whore.
I say it with pride.
Haiku # 58403, April 13, 2018 6:40 pm ET
by df
My cheating clients
can't even copy the math
on tests correctly.

I send them answers
and they put down gibberish.
I'm sure teachers laugh.
Haiku # 58402, April 13, 2018 6:35 pm ET
by df
Can I cook my wife
and sell her in the market
as barbecue pork?
Haiku # 58401, April 13, 2018 6:27 pm ET
by df
You should not complain.
Where I live its the tourists
that do the biting.

The bugs also bite.
But I'm not sure which is worse.
Tourists carry AIDS.
Haiku # 58400, April 13, 2018 6:22 pm ET
by df
it's a sign springtime
has finally shown up,bugs
that bite and tourists
Haiku # 58399, April 13, 2018 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
I know it's wrong but
I park my scabby boogers
on my neighbor's door.
Haiku # 58398, April 13, 2018 10:49 am ET
by df
Joke with the surgeon
about balloon animals.
He will then twist one.
Haiku # 58396, April 13, 2018 10:43 am ET
by df
You know that you're old
when your nostril hairs are white
and often fall out.
Haiku # 58395, April 13, 2018 10:40 am ET
by df
Joke with the balloon
animal twister about
penile implants.
Haiku # 58394, April 13, 2018 10:37 am ET
by df
What Sydney is this?
Has she done any nude scenes?
Well, if not, she should.
Haiku # 58393, April 13, 2018 10:33 am ET
by df
To take ten doses
or spend all day on Farcebook.
Acid is better.

And better for you.
The damage is less severe.
You might learn something.
Haiku # 58392, April 13, 2018 10:31 am ET
by df
so irritating
sydney is hot and smoky
like a leafy spliff
Haiku # 58391, April 13, 2018 10:31 am ET
by ash
I'd rather have a
bottle in front of me than
waste time on Farcebook.

But then we all know
Farcebook is lobotomy.
Yet done without knives.
Haiku # 58390, April 13, 2018 10:29 am ET
by df
We are doomed to fail.
All cancer murders its host.
It's all about greed.
Haiku # 58389, April 13, 2018 10:26 am ET
by df
She sits on the bench
furiously scribbling
her putrid dull verse.
Haiku # 58388, April 13, 2018 10:24 am ET
by df
well as usual
im stumped...ill watch fawlty
towers tomorrow

on vhs ;)
Haiku # 58387, April 12, 2018 11:12 pm ET
by vhs
Do giraffes give head?
Would one blow a blue whale?
Think of this at church.
Haiku # 58386, April 12, 2018 2:33 pm ET
by df of correct spelling this time
Have you ever seen
the youtube vid where chimps rape
frogs -- they know something.
Haiku # 58385, April 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET
by df
Do giraffes give head?
Would one blow a blue whale?
This of this at church.
Haiku # 58384, April 12, 2018 2:28 pm ET
by df
Which is more boring,
calculus or bad haiku?
They both use numbers.
Haiku # 58383, April 12, 2018 2:24 pm ET
by df
Frogs do not want me.
On my wife's that depraved.
I'd rather do frogs.
Haiku # 58382, April 12, 2018 2:20 pm ET
by df
Too much hot pepper
on my parmesan pizza.
Regrets in the end.
Haiku # 58381, April 12, 2018 2:18 pm ET
by df
the norm used to be
people didn't have access
to what kind of cheese

you liked on your burger
now it is on the wiki
page to all be seen
Haiku # 58380, April 12, 2018 12:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
would you let a frog
have sex with you then , ever
seen hell comes to frogtown?

rowdy roddy piper...
Haiku # 58379, April 12, 2018 10:31 am ET
by vhs
Frogs have more talent
than karaoke singers
and are sexier.
Haiku # 58378, April 12, 2018 9:26 am ET
by df
Whose head?
What is "it"?
Hawking time
Preparing for female anatomy joke
Haiku # 58377, April 12, 2018 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i thought this was it
now that times are coming to
a head...this is it
Haiku # 58376, April 12, 2018 12:52 am ET
by vhs
i'll have one hotdog, please
Haiku # 58375, April 11, 2018 7:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of The Wiener's Circle
"The Wieners Circle is a hot dog stand on Clark Street in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, United States. It is known for its Maxwell Street Polish, Char-dogs, hamburgers, cheese fries, and the mutual verbal abuse between the employees and the customers during the late-weekend hours"
Haiku # 58374, April 11, 2018 5:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
meh we all have a
controversial bad guy each
era...then folks get

that person confronted
Haiku # 58373, April 10, 2018 4:50 pm ET
by vhs
they are now setting
up the stake for Zuckerberg
facebook the music
Haiku # 58372, April 10, 2018 4:13 pm ET
by vhs
problem is like a
certain barbarella
how many sex robots

would i break in the
process of being down with
the sex robot gals
Haiku # 58371, April 10, 2018 12:26 pm ET
by vhs
Sexworkers (synthetic and organic) Birth control, homosexuality
Disruption of the reproductive cycle
More for me down the road
Haiku # 58370, April 10, 2018 11:33 am ET
by Optimistic Realist of that strange mystical place known as acceptance of circumstamces
One man's drug is just
Other man's technology
Cyborgs be cyborgs
Haiku # 58369, April 10, 2018 11:25 am ET
by Cyborg
ive always wanted a
good absinthe not
keen on hard drugs here...

my mind is too damn
weird, but i say its your deal, go
for it, let me be

im already within..

i tend to think introverts already
have a sort of connection within
you might say
Haiku # 58368, April 10, 2018 10:37 am ET
by vhs
Breakdown of sensation of LSD:
1 hour in: "this isn't that weird"
2 hours in: "alright this is kinda weird"
? hours in: "there is a swarm of nanobots crawling around on my neural DNA, and it weirds me out that I can actually feel that"
It mechanically alters DNA structure
Haiku # 58367, April 10, 2018 5:33 am ET
by Luke Whystalker of The Death Star (it was an inside job)
Another story, from Jackie Gleason's wife: supposedly Nixon and Gleason were drinking - Nixon was a lightweight
Gleason asked him if aliens were real
So Nixon was like "come on ima show you somethin," took him to a base
Showed him aliens and alien tech
Drunk Nixon showing off some aliens
Haiku # 58366, April 10, 2018 5:28 am ET
by dvd of area 52
Grace Slick allegedly tried to dose
Nixon with LSD in his coffee
I honestly got a massive crush on her after I read that
She would have either saved the world
Or doomed it to annihilation
Nixon on LSD
Could have gone either way, really
Haiku # 58365, April 10, 2018 5:24 am ET
by dvd
I would like to dose
all the politicians and
police where I live.
Haiku # 58364, April 9, 2018 9:38 pm ET
Ever try Absinthe?
I mean, I like it and all,
but it's not acid.
Haiku # 58363, April 9, 2018 9:37 pm ET
by df
I put a shot of
amaretto in my cup
of coffee today.
Haiku # 58362, April 9, 2018 9:34 pm ET
i will surely and
quite approve the gesture herr
pigfucker...for sure
Haiku # 58361, April 9, 2018 9:34 pm ET
by vhs of dangling chads???
I want Zucherberg
to see my dangling privates
so he has nightmares.
Haiku # 58360, April 9, 2018 9:33 pm ET
i wonder what a scrpio is
Haiku # 58359, April 9, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by vhs
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