Satan is burned out.
He does not want you to sin.
He has enough work.

Let's be good today.
Satan needs a vacation.
That's what He told me.

He deserves a rest.
All that torture is hard work.
Too many sinners.

All purple giraffes
can fly faster than light speed.
This is pure logic.

Satan never lies.
He tells you the evil truth.
And we don't listen.

"Do not screw that whore,"
He says, "you will get VD."
But you still do it.

"Cocaine's addicting,"
He warns, but you still snort a
line off the whore's tits.

Do not blame Satan.
All these sins belong to you.
Man up and own it.

the devil is a
liar and his followers
are full of cow shit

I've said it before.
Writing haiku is a form
of devil worship.

This is rather dull.
I could be knitting crochet
or collecting stamps.

Wave your erection
at passersby like a flag
of insanity.

Pleasures of the flesh.
Carnivorous predator.
Destructive offspring.

Downward spiral slide.
More fun than a water park
of KY jelly.

Worship sinful vice.
Booze, junk food, television.
Be American!

Satan is my Lord.
Or is it that I am His?
Even He can't know.

I know what God wants.
He wants you to make me rich.
Give me all your cash.

In Jesus' name,
Send those unclean bills to me
to get in heaven.

I hear them coming.
Up the stairs the monsters march.
They are at my door.

Do not masturbate.
That will make Jesus hate you.
And you'll burn in hell.

Torture mosquitoes.
Spray them with Off so other
mosquitoes hate them.

Its a good idea
To make a small investment
Buy an air filter

you ever seen those dust
bunnies...someone said in her
book theres psychic dust

bunnies of evil
angry energy creeps in
our basements... its like

a blob of psychic
crap one cant see but takes on
a life of its own

its why it seems
so creepy in some basements
in the world today

in scary darkness
if you look under the bed
all your fears are dust

It's almost time when the time is here,
The time that's only once a year.
We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near.
A Woodland Critter Christmas!
What special time and special day,
It's Woodland Critter Christmas.
Hail Satan!

trinity broadcast network

Tits and Boobs Network?
Trampoline Buttplug Nailing?
Tumble Bugs Nesting?

Dimming all the lights
I feel so much deeper now
It is pretty chill

Doctor, doctor Jeff
Jeff heezy went up and left
Now I am alone

Glittery bitches
Always after my riches
Gotta shut em down

If these walls could talk.
If vaginal walls could talk.
Harvey Wallbanger.

well sit naked in
a bean bag chair eating cheetos
watching TBN

fun

Booger tag is fun.
When you're stopped at a red light
flick boogers at cars.

Windows are ten points.
Door handles are twenty five.
All else is five points.

Tortoises are cool.
They just hang out and eat grass.
Maybe I'll try that.

Cake tastes much better
with an amaretto shot
served chilled on the side.

I find in old age
I rather like chocolate
chip cookies for lunch.

I've been wondering,
do these crotchless panties make
my penis look small?

i want to post some
thing here that is profound but
it's all bad haiku...

this is an empty
mall where todays kids walk through
make videos and

comment on the
idea of buildings used to
sell things to them all

i remain confused
for a very long time now
unless i forgot

any time the captcha
gets hunted by the haiku
isn't quite that song

there was an old man
who was swallowed by a fly
or something like that

what one cant say due
to thoughtcrime and how the wise
must watch what they say

fuck you

something something and
also on top of that lets
just say broom handle

Mama spider with egg sack
Crawling around on my wall
To her I'm the monster
So I'll leave her alone
Besides, I'm going to need
More ammo for my
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)

well if you give your
own self a circumcision
with a zipper...meh!

Oh, oh dear oh my
Wouldn't hurt so badly if
You were circumsized

I tried not to try.
Got my dick stuck in my fly.
I swear that's no lie.

Try not
Do or do not
There is no try

I have completely failed at everything I have ever tried.

ive never really
trusted extroverts, too much
easily flim flammed

theres exceptions i
know, but sit back, relax and
smoke a cohiba

drink a shot of makers
mark and watch the game, you own
the world someday hmm?

meh, youll be out
missing out on the collect
ing market there bub

You ARE a weirdo!
Just download the thing for free.
Tell the FBI.

if I'm buying the
radiohead album ok
computer for two

bucks at the goodwill
then some autistic nut
calls me a weirdo

what kind of world is this?

theres a beavis and
a butthead waiting to cum
back from uhhh...uhhh...huh

huh...hi...ass...tush?
hi ass toosh? huh huh hiatus?
you said ass...huh huh

I enjoy pooping.
Sometimes I poop just to poop.
Other times I must.

i wonder if this guy
can make funny church signs