BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
264 Days
67781 Haikus
Tortoises are cool.
They just hang out and eat grass.
Maybe I'll try that.
Haiku #58317, by darth figpucker
April 7, 2018 12:17 am ET

Cake tastes much better
with an amaretto shot
served chilled on the side.
Haiku #58316, by darth figpucker
April 7, 2018 12:15 am ET

I find in old age
I rather like chocolate
chip cookies for lunch.
Haiku #58315, by darth figpucker
April 7, 2018 12:12 am ET

I've been wondering,
do these crotchless panties make
my penis look small?
Haiku #58314, by darth figpucker
April 7, 2018 12:10 am ET

i want to post some
thing here that is profound but
it's all bad haiku...
Haiku #58313, by vhs
April 6, 2018 2:10 pm ET

this is an empty
mall where todays kids walk through
make videos and

comment on the
idea of buildings used to
sell things to them all
Haiku #58312, by vhs
April 6, 2018 11:00 am ET

i remain confused
for a very long time now
unless i forgot
Haiku #58311, by ash
April 6, 2018 9:50 am ET

any time the captcha
gets hunted by the haiku
isn't quite that song
Haiku #58310, by ash of grace jones' locker
April 6, 2018 9:49 am ET

there was an old man
who was swallowed by a fly
or something like that
Haiku #58309, by ash
April 6, 2018 9:46 am ET

what one cant say due
to thoughtcrime and how the wise
must watch what they say

fuck you
Haiku #58308, by vhs of who said i was wise?
April 6, 2018 1:14 am ET

something something and
also on top of that lets
just say broom handle
Haiku #58307, by vhs of because
April 6, 2018 1:10 am ET

Mama spider with egg sack
Crawling around on my wall
To her I'm the monster
So I'll leave her alone
Besides, I'm going to need
More ammo for my
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)
Haiku #58306, by dvd
April 5, 2018 3:34 pm ET

well if you give your
own self a circumcision
with a zipper...meh!
Haiku #58305, by vhs
April 5, 2018 10:51 am ET

Oh, oh dear oh my
Wouldn't hurt so badly if
You were circumsized
Haiku #58304, by Anonymous Poet
April 5, 2018 3:14 am ET

I tried not to try.
Got my dick stuck in my fly.
I swear that's no lie.
Haiku #58303, by
April 5, 2018 1:34 am ET

Try not
Do or do not
There is no try
Haiku #58302, by Yoda of Dagoba
April 5, 2018 1:05 am ET

I have completely failed at everything I have ever tried.
Haiku #58301, by Anonymous Poet
April 4, 2018 11:58 pm ET

ive never really
trusted extroverts, too much
easily flim flammed

theres exceptions i
know, but sit back, relax and
smoke a cohiba

drink a shot of makers
mark and watch the game, you own
the world someday hmm?
Haiku #58300, by vhs
April 4, 2018 10:49 am ET

meh, youll be out
missing out on the collect
ing market there bub
Haiku #58299, by vhs of retro is the way to go
April 4, 2018 10:44 am ET

You ARE a weirdo!
Just download the thing for free.
Tell the FBI.
Haiku #58298, by
April 4, 2018 6:03 am ET

if I'm buying the
radiohead album ok
computer for two

bucks at the goodwill
then some autistic nut
calls me a weirdo

what kind of world is this?
Haiku #58297, by vhs
April 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET

theres a beavis and
a butthead waiting to cum
back from uhhh...uhhh...huh

hi ass toosh? huh huh hiatus?
you said ass...huh huh
Haiku #58296, by vhs of cheap mike judge reference
April 3, 2018 12:30 pm ET

I enjoy pooping.
Sometimes I poop just to poop.
Other times I must.
Haiku #58295, by
April 3, 2018 4:59 am ET

i wonder if this guy
can make funny church signs
Haiku #58294, by vhs
April 2, 2018 11:13 am ET

Her enormous queef
blasted a hole in his couch.
Leather's expensive!
Haiku #58293, by df
April 2, 2018 3:43 am ET

Curse or privilege.
The beginning of the end.
Choose well your locale.
Haiku #58292, by _
April 2, 2018 2:55 am ET

Have you applied for
sexual reassignment
just to be denied?

Get in line to sue.
But which bathroom will you use?
Pee outside with dogs.
Haiku #58291, by df
April 2, 2018 12:03 am ET

Adolph Hitler on...
Wait... there's a herpes channel?!?!
That makes perfect sense.
Haiku #58290, by df
April 1, 2018 11:57 pm ET

My idea for a
new History Channel show:
Zombie Jesus Proof!

Eat his flesh and blood.
You too will be a zombie!
That really is true.

Kill the first zombie.
All the others will then die.
Where's my time machine?!
Haiku #58289, by of
April 1, 2018 5:54 pm ET

trust me i think it
is funny i believe I
was up above it

but now I'm down in it
Haiku #58288, by vhs of enjoy nine inch nails
April 1, 2018 2:50 pm ET

April fools Easter
The big joke is religion
Jesus didn
Haiku #58287, by Beelzebub of Planet Earth
April 1, 2018 2:16 pm ET

oh fuck it, i get
bent out of shape, the new hitler
parody is

hrps channel april fools hillarious
Haiku #58286, by vhs of egg me on if you like
April 1, 2018 12:49 pm ET

i mean if something
gets to me its Easter, so do
me a favor and

rather than being
that stupid fat fuck that sits
at the bar nursing

his soon to die liver
stop being miserable assholes
grow up and go

be less miserable...
i know, look in the mirror
Haiku #58285, by Anonymous Poet
April 1, 2018 10:57 am ET

i dont want to go
and complain but if i post
some awful thing that

i overcame in real
life some guy on here will say
something so i stay

mum..why do i bother
praying for you guys anyway?
maybe i should just let

Haiku #58284, by vhs
April 1, 2018 10:54 am ET

that does posting funny church
signs here
Haiku #58283, by that guy thats been here too long hasnt killed himself
April 1, 2018 10:47 am ET

my reaction
to the sarcastic comment
is very unchristian
Haiku #58282, by vhs
April 1, 2018 10:40 am ET

well my mindless net
poster, may i remind you
The Bible said to

chop off a hand if
it offends God so the rest
of you doesnt burn

eternally. i
think this is the problem of
anonymous net

people...they post some
random shit, on this holy
day, naked in a

bean bag, eating chips
and rather than loving my
enemies, brings out

the net reaction
the flash mob, the mindless protest
dont make subtle threats

i take the real life serious ok?
Haiku #58281, by vhs
April 1, 2018 10:39 am ET

The end of all ends.
Did she chop off your penis?
Then quit your bitching.
Haiku #58280, by doom and gloom
April 1, 2018 1:22 am ET

hmm, here it is, the
end, like i feared, whoop te doo
resurrection blues
Haiku #58279, by vhs
April 1, 2018 12:18 am ET

colored eggs, candy
easter cards, ishtar worship
sunday brunch, jesus....check
Haiku #58278, by vhs
March 31, 2018 11:37 pm ET

well here it is, the
pagan holiday where the
guy from judaism

came back to life and
a bunch of people wrote books
about Him, enjoy
Haiku #58277, by vhs
March 31, 2018 1:00 pm ET

i wanted to say
something profound but i can't
think of anything
Haiku #58276, by vhs
March 31, 2018 11:40 am ET

so this is it eh
and the damn thing will still work
we will see next day
Haiku #58275, by Anonymous Poet
March 31, 2018 9:57 am ET

yes the nazis at
microsoft want to ban folks
on nudity etc

etc, ban guns, etc..i
say we have them all lined up
and made to eat sugar
Haiku #58274, by vhs
March 31, 2018 1:38 am ET

I just saw an ad
for an electric shocker
that fits on your dick.

This was on Facebook.
I've lost all hope for mankind.
I had to get one.
Haiku #58273, by df of JOKING!!!! I didn't get one... but I really saw the ad.
March 31, 2018 12:08 am ET

I want to raise figs.
Get my hands down in the dirt.
Plant, water, harvest.

People will see me.
And they will think only this:
Dirty fig plucker!
Haiku #58272, by Darth Figpucker
March 31, 2018 12:01 am ET

Malted milk eggs, though.
Scrape out all the malt sugar,
chop and then snort it.

If that's not enough,
melt it down and inject it.
There's no going back.

Heroin and meth,
they are like sooo yesterday.
Malt eggs fuck you up!
Haiku #58271, by DF of Malted milk egg whore
March 30, 2018 11:56 pm ET

If you do not sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Be bad for Jesus!
Haiku #58270, by DF of I'd screw a giant bunny rabbit, but I'm not fond of chocolate eggs.
March 30, 2018 11:48 pm ET

this is the night when
they nail him to the old cross
all is fucked, then bam...
Haiku #58269, by vhs
March 30, 2018 11:41 pm ET

it is the scary
time known as passover, both
a plague and a

lesson of time and space
Haiku #58268, by vhs
March 30, 2018 2:53 pm ET