Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 111 Days and 70192 Haikus later...

Adolph Hitler on...
Wait... there's a herpes channel?!?!
That makes perfect sense.
Haiku # 58290, April 1, 2018 11:57 pm ET
by df
My idea for a
new History Channel show:
Zombie Jesus Proof!

Eat his flesh and blood.
You too will be a zombie!
That really is true.

Kill the first zombie.
All the others will then die.
Where's my time machine?!
Haiku # 58289, April 1, 2018 5:54 pm ET
by of
trust me i think it
is funny i believe I
was up above it

but now I'm down in it
Haiku # 58288, April 1, 2018 2:50 pm ET
by vhs of enjoy nine inch nails
April fools Easter
The big joke is religion
Jesus didn
Haiku # 58287, April 1, 2018 2:16 pm ET
by Beelzebub of Planet Earth
oh fuck it, i get
bent out of shape, the new hitler
parody is

hrps channel april fools hillarious
Haiku # 58286, April 1, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by vhs of egg me on if you like
i mean if something
gets to me its Easter, so do
me a favor and

rather than being
that stupid fat fuck that sits
at the bar nursing

his soon to die liver
stop being miserable assholes
grow up and go

be less miserable...
i know, look in the mirror
Haiku # 58285, April 1, 2018 10:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i dont want to go
and complain but if i post
some awful thing that

i overcame in real
life some guy on here will say
something so i stay

mum..why do i bother
praying for you guys anyway?
maybe i should just let

go
Haiku # 58284, April 1, 2018 10:54 am ET
by vhs
that does it...im posting funny church
signs here
Haiku # 58283, April 1, 2018 10:47 am ET
by that guy thats been here too long hasnt killed himself
my reaction
to the sarcastic comment
is very unchristian
Haiku # 58282, April 1, 2018 10:40 am ET
by vhs
well my mindless net
poster, may i remind you
The Bible said to

chop off a hand if
it offends God so the rest
of you doesnt burn

eternally. i
think this is the problem of
anonymous net

people...they post some
random shit, on this holy
day, naked in a

bean bag, eating chips
and rather than loving my
enemies, brings out

the net reaction
the flash mob, the mindless protest
dont make subtle threats

i take the real life serious ok?
Haiku # 58281, April 1, 2018 10:39 am ET
by vhs
The end of all ends.
Did she chop off your penis?
Then quit your bitching.
Haiku # 58280, April 1, 2018 1:22 am ET
by doom and gloom
hmm, here it is, the
end, like i feared, whoop te doo
resurrection blues
Haiku # 58279, April 1, 2018 12:18 am ET
by vhs
colored eggs, candy
easter cards, ishtar worship
sunday brunch, jesus....check
Haiku # 58278, March 31, 2018 11:37 pm ET
by vhs
well here it is, the
pagan holiday where the
guy from judaism

came back to life and
a bunch of people wrote books
about Him, enjoy
Haiku # 58277, March 31, 2018 1:00 pm ET
by vhs
i wanted to say
something profound but i can't
think of anything
Haiku # 58276, March 31, 2018 11:40 am ET
by vhs
so this is it eh
and the damn thing will still work
we will see next day
Haiku # 58275, March 31, 2018 9:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
yes the nazis at
microsoft want to ban folks
on nudity etc

etc, ban guns, etc..i
say we have them all lined up
and made to eat sugar
Haiku # 58274, March 31, 2018 1:38 am ET
by vhs
I just saw an ad
for an electric shocker
that fits on your dick.

This was on Facebook.
I've lost all hope for mankind.
I had to get one.
Haiku # 58273, March 31, 2018 12:08 am ET
by df of JOKING!!!! I didn't get one... but I really saw the ad.
I want to raise figs.
Get my hands down in the dirt.
Plant, water, harvest.

People will see me.
And they will think only this:
Dirty fig plucker!
Haiku # 58272, March 31, 2018 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Malted milk eggs, though.
Scrape out all the malt sugar,
chop and then snort it.

If that's not enough,
melt it down and inject it.
There's no going back.

Heroin and meth,
they are like sooo yesterday.
Malt eggs fuck you up!
Haiku # 58271, March 30, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by DF of Malted milk egg whore
If you do not sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Be bad for Jesus!
Haiku # 58270, March 30, 2018 11:48 pm ET
by DF of I'd screw a giant bunny rabbit, but I'm not fond of chocolate eggs.
this is the night when
they nail him to the old cross
all is fucked, then bam...
Haiku # 58269, March 30, 2018 11:41 pm ET
by vhs
it is the scary
time known as passover, both
a plague and a

lesson of time and space
Haiku # 58268, March 30, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by vhs
i wonder if this
place will still be postable
after the 31st?
Haiku # 58267, March 30, 2018 12:09 pm ET
by vhs of if not goodbye old friend
they wanted me to
make a decision on some
thing i could care less

about one hundred per-
cent as if organizing toothpicks
was a life and death thing
Haiku # 58266, March 30, 2018 11:59 am ET
by vhs
existential end
all is nothing, i want to
boing you like an an
Haiku # 58265, March 30, 2018 11:10 am ET
by vhs of nine inch nails...is that taylor swifts first band...dur!
i can hear you floyd
any anonymity
is wires in my brain
Haiku # 58264, March 30, 2018 6:23 am ET
by ash
Set the controls for
the heart of the sun, the heart
of the sun, the heart...
Haiku # 58263, March 30, 2018 3:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of
how long is a chinaman
and he called me last night
very funny American joke
Haiku # 58262, March 30, 2018 12:20 am ET
by vhs
It's beyond "website".
I'm a bi-tempered guy with
a short sex organ.
Haiku # 58261, March 29, 2018 11:57 pm ET
by of
Make your penis huge.
Magical porn star cock pills.
Viagra dot cum.
Haiku # 58260, March 29, 2018 11:51 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy's pet crab lice
its just a website...
im a bisexual guy
with a short temper

irish german and
ill miss this place, or you know
april fools, its still here
Haiku # 58259, March 29, 2018 11:42 pm ET
by vhs
I am bored with this
So I will go away now
Manipulated

That sounds so sexy
But words can deceive us all
Into foolishness

So have at me chief
Or chef? Let the insults fly
Plunger in my ass?

So I go away
Unlike you, i do mean it.
One, two, three, four, five
Haiku # 58258, March 29, 2018 5:13 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Me; cute hippie chicks
DF; Asian prostitutes
VHS; his hand
Haiku # 58257, March 29, 2018 1:49 pm ET
by Who are we dating tonight?
Thank you VHS
You are so dang amusing
Hilarious hate

Life didn't turn out right
So you lash out in anger
Whenever provoked

Just like Pavlov's dog.
If his dog was a racist
And homophobic.

All I did to you
Was to hold up a mirror...
Didn't like what you saw...
Haiku # 58256, March 29, 2018 1:46 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
something woke up last
night in me that all the crap
just fell away...off
Haiku # 58255, March 29, 2018 10:05 am ET
by vhs
feelings are easily hurt
someone said dont pay attention
to him on the way out

of work tonight.
i feel like not showing up tomorrow
to let those people do without me
Haiku # 58254, March 28, 2018 11:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nothing precedeth
mine bitter weltanschauung
finally: my balls
Haiku # 58253, March 28, 2018 10:46 pm ET
by Lush
Opening Day Tribute:

the crack of the bat?
behold the crack of my ass
I hate baseball games
Haiku # 58252, March 28, 2018 10:34 pm ET
by Lush
You boys got so mean
Taking away all the fun.
Makes goodbye easy.
Haiku # 58251, March 28, 2018 3:07 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
what's sad about the
end of old things that to me
seems like it did not

have to happen to
begin with but the right folks
lost their interest

did not care, followed
a trend, or ended a good
friendship due to a

stupid need to be right
Haiku # 58250, March 28, 2018 1:37 pm ET
by vhs
i will wait and see
if the owner of this old
site puts a new thing

up, till that time, farewell
Haiku # 58249, March 27, 2018 2:19 pm ET
by vhs
well since you are a
math geek old friend, tell me of
grahams number would you?
Haiku # 58248, March 27, 2018 11:06 am ET
by vhs
me being an asshole
had a real purpose sometimes
i find more conservative

people feel they can
be honest when theres the
sort of doublethink

that orwell warned of
in 1984...and it is evil
but mushroom soup if

done right, damn good now
Haiku # 58247, March 27, 2018 10:59 am ET
by vhs
i value human life
so when i hear about that i
think jordan petersens

segments about how
much evil faith the columbine
murderers had...i

think weve too many
snowflakes and theyre all vulnerable
to lies and evil

ofcourse i look at hentai!
and swear like a lunatic
save the fucking world df

or you will answer to me for eternity
Haiku # 58246, March 26, 2018 10:24 pm ET
by the force of chaos
i dont care, your own
stuff is old hat to me df
i dont want a cult

i was on this site
with hypnosis fetishists
and now im too mad

to think of sex i
am aiming for letting go...man is
worth it, all is suffering

fuck it, forgive them
Haiku # 58245, March 26, 2018 10:21 pm ET
by vhs of i hate my rotten moments, i miss my cheap beer and chew
I never could figure out the whole Jim Jones Kool-Aid thing... I mean, cyanide, great and all... but why kill all your follower and then yourself??? He should have killed them and kept all their money and property and gotten rich, claiming insanity when brought to trial. He could then have gone on talk shows and inspired other people to buy Nikes and catch the next space ship via way of KCN almond flavored Kook-Aid. Yummy!
He could have been a hero, just like crazy old Charlie, but no...
I need my own cult. Bring me offerings of figs and young prostitutes and various mind altering substances! Bring them now!

Ergot scrotal warts
transport me to other planes.
Come, follow me now!
Haiku # 58244, March 26, 2018 9:25 pm ET
by df is sick of normality!
Perhaps the Kool-Aid
is the normal thing to do.
Who are we to judge?

The older I get
the more pointless it all seems.
I've no hope at all.

The world will soon die.
In one or a billion years.
Drink up while you can.

Fine dining and wine.
Or heroin and Kool-Aid.
It doesn't matter.

Whichever you choose,
destroy yourself or the world,
God will be laughing.
Haiku # 58243, March 26, 2018 9:15 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of
people set up their
cults and call it normal and
then drink the cool aid
Haiku # 58242, March 26, 2018 2:46 pm ET
by vhs
meh heh heh heh heh
someone tells me the program
always wins, gosh darn

isolated inter
net meme belief systems
lmao...fine
Haiku # 58241, March 26, 2018 2:40 pm ET
by vhs
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