Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

any time the captcha
gets hunted by the haiku
isn't quite that song
Haiku # 58310, April 6, 2018 9:49 am ET
by ash of grace jones' locker
there was an old man
who was swallowed by a fly
or something like that
Haiku # 58309, April 6, 2018 9:46 am ET
by ash
what one cant say due
to thoughtcrime and how the wise
must watch what they say

fuck you
Haiku # 58308, April 6, 2018 1:14 am ET
by vhs of who said i was wise?
something something and
also on top of that lets
just say broom handle
Haiku # 58307, April 6, 2018 1:10 am ET
by vhs of because
Mama spider with egg sack
Crawling around on my wall
To her I'm the monster
So I'll leave her alone
Besides, I'm going to need
More ammo for my
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)
Haiku # 58306, April 5, 2018 3:34 pm ET
by dvd
well if you give your
own self a circumcision
with a zipper...meh!
Haiku # 58305, April 5, 2018 10:51 am ET
by vhs
Oh, oh dear oh my
Wouldn't hurt so badly if
You were circumsized
Haiku # 58304, April 5, 2018 3:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I tried not to try.
Got my dick stuck in my fly.
I swear that's no lie.
Haiku # 58303, April 5, 2018 1:34 am ET
Try not
Do or do not
There is no try
Haiku # 58302, April 5, 2018 1:05 am ET
by Yoda of Dagoba
I have completely failed at everything I have ever tried.
Haiku # 58301, April 4, 2018 11:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
ive never really
trusted extroverts, too much
easily flim flammed

theres exceptions i
know, but sit back, relax and
smoke a cohiba

drink a shot of makers
mark and watch the game, you own
the world someday hmm?
Haiku # 58300, April 4, 2018 10:49 am ET
by vhs
meh, youll be out
missing out on the collect
ing market there bub
Haiku # 58299, April 4, 2018 10:44 am ET
by vhs of retro is the way to go
You ARE a weirdo!
Just download the thing for free.
Tell the FBI.
Haiku # 58298, April 4, 2018 6:03 am ET
if I'm buying the
radiohead album ok
computer for two

bucks at the goodwill
then some autistic nut
calls me a weirdo

what kind of world is this?
Haiku # 58297, April 3, 2018 7:19 pm ET
by vhs
theres a beavis and
a butthead waiting to cum
back from uhhh...uhhh...huh

hi ass toosh? huh huh hiatus?
you said ass...huh huh
Haiku # 58296, April 3, 2018 12:30 pm ET
by vhs of cheap mike judge reference
I enjoy pooping.
Sometimes I poop just to poop.
Other times I must.
Haiku # 58295, April 3, 2018 4:59 am ET
i wonder if this guy
can make funny church signs
Haiku # 58294, April 2, 2018 11:13 am ET
by vhs
Her enormous queef
blasted a hole in his couch.
Leather's expensive!
Haiku # 58293, April 2, 2018 3:43 am ET
by df
Curse or privilege.
The beginning of the end.
Choose well your locale.
Haiku # 58292, April 2, 2018 2:55 am ET
by _
Have you applied for
sexual reassignment
just to be denied?

Get in line to sue.
But which bathroom will you use?
Pee outside with dogs.
Haiku # 58291, April 2, 2018 12:03 am ET
by df
Adolph Hitler on...
Wait... there's a herpes channel?!?!
That makes perfect sense.
Haiku # 58290, April 1, 2018 11:57 pm ET
by df
My idea for a
new History Channel show:
Zombie Jesus Proof!

Eat his flesh and blood.
You too will be a zombie!
That really is true.

Kill the first zombie.
All the others will then die.
Where's my time machine?!
Haiku # 58289, April 1, 2018 5:54 pm ET
by of
trust me i think it
is funny i believe I
was up above it

but now I'm down in it
Haiku # 58288, April 1, 2018 2:50 pm ET
by vhs of enjoy nine inch nails
April fools Easter
The big joke is religion
Jesus didn
Haiku # 58287, April 1, 2018 2:16 pm ET
by Beelzebub of Planet Earth
oh fuck it, i get
bent out of shape, the new hitler
parody is

hrps channel april fools hillarious
Haiku # 58286, April 1, 2018 12:49 pm ET
by vhs of egg me on if you like
i mean if something
gets to me its Easter, so do
me a favor and

rather than being
that stupid fat fuck that sits
at the bar nursing

his soon to die liver
stop being miserable assholes
grow up and go

be less miserable...
i know, look in the mirror
Haiku # 58285, April 1, 2018 10:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i dont want to go
and complain but if i post
some awful thing that

i overcame in real
life some guy on here will say
something so i stay

mum..why do i bother
praying for you guys anyway?
maybe i should just let

Haiku # 58284, April 1, 2018 10:54 am ET
by vhs
that does posting funny church
signs here
Haiku # 58283, April 1, 2018 10:47 am ET
by that guy thats been here too long hasnt killed himself
my reaction
to the sarcastic comment
is very unchristian
Haiku # 58282, April 1, 2018 10:40 am ET
by vhs
well my mindless net
poster, may i remind you
The Bible said to

chop off a hand if
it offends God so the rest
of you doesnt burn

eternally. i
think this is the problem of
anonymous net

people...they post some
random shit, on this holy
day, naked in a

bean bag, eating chips
and rather than loving my
enemies, brings out

the net reaction
the flash mob, the mindless protest
dont make subtle threats

i take the real life serious ok?
Haiku # 58281, April 1, 2018 10:39 am ET
by vhs
The end of all ends.
Did she chop off your penis?
Then quit your bitching.
Haiku # 58280, April 1, 2018 1:22 am ET
by doom and gloom
hmm, here it is, the
end, like i feared, whoop te doo
resurrection blues
Haiku # 58279, April 1, 2018 12:18 am ET
by vhs
colored eggs, candy
easter cards, ishtar worship
sunday brunch, jesus....check
Haiku # 58278, March 31, 2018 11:37 pm ET
by vhs
well here it is, the
pagan holiday where the
guy from judaism

came back to life and
a bunch of people wrote books
about Him, enjoy
Haiku # 58277, March 31, 2018 1:00 pm ET
by vhs
i wanted to say
something profound but i can't
think of anything
Haiku # 58276, March 31, 2018 11:40 am ET
by vhs
so this is it eh
and the damn thing will still work
we will see next day
Haiku # 58275, March 31, 2018 9:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
yes the nazis at
microsoft want to ban folks
on nudity etc

etc, ban guns, etc..i
say we have them all lined up
and made to eat sugar
Haiku # 58274, March 31, 2018 1:38 am ET
by vhs
I just saw an ad
for an electric shocker
that fits on your dick.

This was on Facebook.
I've lost all hope for mankind.
I had to get one.
Haiku # 58273, March 31, 2018 12:08 am ET
by df of JOKING!!!! I didn't get one... but I really saw the ad.
I want to raise figs.
Get my hands down in the dirt.
Plant, water, harvest.

People will see me.
And they will think only this:
Dirty fig plucker!
Haiku # 58272, March 31, 2018 12:01 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Malted milk eggs, though.
Scrape out all the malt sugar,
chop and then snort it.

If that's not enough,
melt it down and inject it.
There's no going back.

Heroin and meth,
they are like sooo yesterday.
Malt eggs fuck you up!
Haiku # 58271, March 30, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by DF of Malted milk egg whore
If you do not sin,
then Jesus died for nothing.
Be bad for Jesus!
Haiku # 58270, March 30, 2018 11:48 pm ET
by DF of I'd screw a giant bunny rabbit, but I'm not fond of chocolate eggs.
this is the night when
they nail him to the old cross
all is fucked, then bam...
Haiku # 58269, March 30, 2018 11:41 pm ET
by vhs
it is the scary
time known as passover, both
a plague and a

lesson of time and space
Haiku # 58268, March 30, 2018 2:53 pm ET
by vhs
i wonder if this
place will still be postable
after the 31st?
Haiku # 58267, March 30, 2018 12:09 pm ET
by vhs of if not goodbye old friend
they wanted me to
make a decision on some
thing i could care less

about one hundred per-
cent as if organizing toothpicks
was a life and death thing
Haiku # 58266, March 30, 2018 11:59 am ET
by vhs
existential end
all is nothing, i want to
boing you like an an
Haiku # 58265, March 30, 2018 11:10 am ET
by vhs of nine inch that taylor swifts first band...dur!
i can hear you floyd
any anonymity
is wires in my brain
Haiku # 58264, March 30, 2018 6:23 am ET
by ash
Set the controls for
the heart of the sun, the heart
of the sun, the heart...
Haiku # 58263, March 30, 2018 3:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of
how long is a chinaman
and he called me last night
very funny American joke
Haiku # 58262, March 30, 2018 12:20 am ET
by vhs
It's beyond "website".
I'm a bi-tempered guy with
a short sex organ.
Haiku # 58261, March 29, 2018 11:57 pm ET
by of
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