If these walls could talk.
If vaginal walls could talk.
Harvey Wallbanger.

well sit naked in
a bean bag chair eating cheetos
watching TBN

fun

Booger tag is fun.
When you're stopped at a red light
flick boogers at cars.

Windows are ten points.
Door handles are twenty five.
All else is five points.

Tortoises are cool.
They just hang out and eat grass.
Maybe I'll try that.

Cake tastes much better
with an amaretto shot
served chilled on the side.

I find in old age
I rather like chocolate
chip cookies for lunch.

I've been wondering,
do these crotchless panties make
my penis look small?

i want to post some
thing here that is profound but
it's all bad haiku...

this is an empty
mall where todays kids walk through
make videos and

comment on the
idea of buildings used to
sell things to them all

i remain confused
for a very long time now
unless i forgot

any time the captcha
gets hunted by the haiku
isn't quite that song

there was an old man
who was swallowed by a fly
or something like that

what one cant say due
to thoughtcrime and how the wise
must watch what they say

fuck you

something something and
also on top of that lets
just say broom handle

Mama spider with egg sack
Crawling around on my wall
To her I'm the monster
So I'll leave her alone
Besides, I'm going to need
More ammo for my
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)

well if you give your
own self a circumcision
with a zipper...meh!

Oh, oh dear oh my
Wouldn't hurt so badly if
You were circumsized

I tried not to try.
Got my dick stuck in my fly.
I swear that's no lie.

Try not
Do or do not
There is no try

I have completely failed at everything I have ever tried.

ive never really
trusted extroverts, too much
easily flim flammed

theres exceptions i
know, but sit back, relax and
smoke a cohiba

drink a shot of makers
mark and watch the game, you own
the world someday hmm?

meh, youll be out
missing out on the collect
ing market there bub

You ARE a weirdo!
Just download the thing for free.
Tell the FBI.

if I'm buying the
radiohead album ok
computer for two

bucks at the goodwill
then some autistic nut
calls me a weirdo

what kind of world is this?

theres a beavis and
a butthead waiting to cum
back from uhhh...uhhh...huh

huh...hi...ass...tush?
hi ass toosh? huh huh hiatus?
you said ass...huh huh

I enjoy pooping.
Sometimes I poop just to poop.
Other times I must.

i wonder if this guy
can make funny church signs

Her enormous queef
blasted a hole in his couch.
Leather's expensive!

Curse or privilege.
The beginning of the end.
Choose well your locale.

Have you applied for
sexual reassignment
just to be denied?

Get in line to sue.
But which bathroom will you use?
Pee outside with dogs.

Adolph Hitler on...
Wait... there's a herpes channel?!?!
That makes perfect sense.

My idea for a
new History Channel show:
Zombie Jesus Proof!

Eat his flesh and blood.
You too will be a zombie!
That really is true.

Kill the first zombie.
All the others will then die.
Where's my time machine?!

trust me i think it
is funny i believe I
was up above it

but now I'm down in it

April fools Easter
The big joke is religion
Jesus didn

oh fuck it, i get
bent out of shape, the new hitler
parody is

hrps channel april fools hillarious

i mean if something
gets to me its Easter, so do
me a favor and

rather than being
that stupid fat fuck that sits
at the bar nursing

his soon to die liver
stop being miserable assholes
grow up and go

be less miserable...
i know, look in the mirror

i dont want to go
and complain but if i post
some awful thing that

i overcame in real
life some guy on here will say
something so i stay

mum..why do i bother
praying for you guys anyway?
maybe i should just let

go

that does it...im posting funny church
signs here

my reaction
to the sarcastic comment
is very unchristian

well my mindless net
poster, may i remind you
The Bible said to

chop off a hand if
it offends God so the rest
of you doesnt burn

eternally. i
think this is the problem of
anonymous net

people...they post some
random shit, on this holy
day, naked in a

bean bag, eating chips
and rather than loving my
enemies, brings out

the net reaction
the flash mob, the mindless protest
dont make subtle threats

i take the real life serious ok?

The end of all ends.
Did she chop off your penis?
Then quit your bitching.

hmm, here it is, the
end, like i feared, whoop te doo
resurrection blues

colored eggs, candy
easter cards, ishtar worship
sunday brunch, jesus....check

well here it is, the
pagan holiday where the
guy from judaism

came back to life and
a bunch of people wrote books
about Him, enjoy

i wanted to say
something profound but i can't
think of anything

so this is it eh
and the damn thing will still work
we will see next day

yes the nazis at
microsoft want to ban folks
on nudity etc

etc, ban guns, etc..i
say we have them all lined up
and made to eat sugar

I just saw an ad
for an electric shocker
that fits on your dick.

This was on Facebook.
I've lost all hope for mankind.
I had to get one.

I want to raise figs.
Get my hands down in the dirt.
Plant, water, harvest.

People will see me.
And they will think only this:
Dirty fig plucker!

Malted milk eggs, though.
Scrape out all the malt sugar,
chop and then snort it.

If that's not enough,
melt it down and inject it.
There's no going back.

Heroin and meth,
they are like sooo yesterday.
Malt eggs fuck you up!