I know what God wants.
He wants you to make me rich.
Give me all your cash.

In Jesus' name,
Send those unclean bills to me
to get in heaven.

I hear them coming.
Up the stairs the monsters march.
They are at my door.

Do not masturbate.
That will make Jesus hate you.
And you'll burn in hell.

Torture mosquitoes.
Spray them with Off so other
mosquitoes hate them.

Its a good idea
To make a small investment
Buy an air filter

you ever seen those dust
bunnies...someone said in her
book theres psychic dust

bunnies of evil
angry energy creeps in
our basements... its like

a blob of psychic
crap one cant see but takes on
a life of its own

its why it seems
so creepy in some basements
in the world today

in scary darkness
if you look under the bed
all your fears are dust

It's almost time when the time is here,
The time that's only once a year.
We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near.
A Woodland Critter Christmas!
What special time and special day,
It's Woodland Critter Christmas.
Hail Satan!

trinity broadcast network

Tits and Boobs Network?
Trampoline Buttplug Nailing?
Tumble Bugs Nesting?

Dimming all the lights
I feel so much deeper now
It is pretty chill

Doctor, doctor Jeff
Jeff heezy went up and left
Now I am alone

Glittery bitches
Always after my riches
Gotta shut em down

If these walls could talk.
If vaginal walls could talk.
Harvey Wallbanger.

well sit naked in
a bean bag chair eating cheetos
watching TBN

fun

Booger tag is fun.
When you're stopped at a red light
flick boogers at cars.

Windows are ten points.
Door handles are twenty five.
All else is five points.

Tortoises are cool.
They just hang out and eat grass.
Maybe I'll try that.

Cake tastes much better
with an amaretto shot
served chilled on the side.

I find in old age
I rather like chocolate
chip cookies for lunch.

I've been wondering,
do these crotchless panties make
my penis look small?

i want to post some
thing here that is profound but
it's all bad haiku...

this is an empty
mall where todays kids walk through
make videos and

comment on the
idea of buildings used to
sell things to them all

i remain confused
for a very long time now
unless i forgot

any time the captcha
gets hunted by the haiku
isn't quite that song

there was an old man
who was swallowed by a fly
or something like that

what one cant say due
to thoughtcrime and how the wise
must watch what they say

fuck you

something something and
also on top of that lets
just say broom handle

Mama spider with egg sack
Crawling around on my wall
To her I'm the monster
So I'll leave her alone
Besides, I'm going to need
More ammo for my
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)

well if you give your
own self a circumcision
with a zipper...meh!

Oh, oh dear oh my
Wouldn't hurt so badly if
You were circumsized

I tried not to try.
Got my dick stuck in my fly.
I swear that's no lie.

Try not
Do or do not
There is no try

I have completely failed at everything I have ever tried.

ive never really
trusted extroverts, too much
easily flim flammed

theres exceptions i
know, but sit back, relax and
smoke a cohiba

drink a shot of makers
mark and watch the game, you own
the world someday hmm?

meh, youll be out
missing out on the collect
ing market there bub

You ARE a weirdo!
Just download the thing for free.
Tell the FBI.

if I'm buying the
radiohead album ok
computer for two

bucks at the goodwill
then some autistic nut
calls me a weirdo

what kind of world is this?

theres a beavis and
a butthead waiting to cum
back from uhhh...uhhh...huh

huh...hi...ass...tush?
hi ass toosh? huh huh hiatus?
you said ass...huh huh

I enjoy pooping.
Sometimes I poop just to poop.
Other times I must.

i wonder if this guy
can make funny church signs

Her enormous queef
blasted a hole in his couch.
Leather's expensive!

Curse or privilege.
The beginning of the end.
Choose well your locale.

Have you applied for
sexual reassignment
just to be denied?

Get in line to sue.
But which bathroom will you use?
Pee outside with dogs.

Adolph Hitler on...
Wait... there's a herpes channel?!?!
That makes perfect sense.

My idea for a
new History Channel show:
Zombie Jesus Proof!

Eat his flesh and blood.
You too will be a zombie!
That really is true.

Kill the first zombie.
All the others will then die.
Where's my time machine?!

trust me i think it
is funny i believe I
was up above it

but now I'm down in it

April fools Easter
The big joke is religion
Jesus didn

oh fuck it, i get
bent out of shape, the new hitler
parody is

hrps channel april fools hillarious

i mean if something
gets to me its Easter, so do
me a favor and

rather than being
that stupid fat fuck that sits
at the bar nursing

his soon to die liver
stop being miserable assholes
grow up and go

be less miserable...
i know, look in the mirror

i dont want to go
and complain but if i post
some awful thing that

i overcame in real
life some guy on here will say
something so i stay

mum..why do i bother
praying for you guys anyway?
maybe i should just let

go