Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 271 Days and 75949 Haiku later...

The poet To Fu
bought an oscillating fan
and farted at it
Haiku # 75850, June 30, 2022 6:38 pm ET
by Your name of Carried by by the wind
the poet Tu Fu
walked next to the winding creek
unzipped took a leak
Haiku # 75849, June 30, 2022 2:26 pm ET
by Tu Fu's zipper of Pants too small
Gran found nootropics
discovering the right stack
it's epic pill time
Haiku # 75848, June 30, 2022 2:24 pm ET
by Dr. Oz of Sutnack
Read all about it
Mike Tyson prepare to box
Mutant uvula
Haiku # 75847, June 30, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by compère of u mom boxing glove
you can not spell Spam
without pam, perhaps she is
the mystery meat
Haiku # 75846, June 30, 2022 1:50 pm ET
by Meat Machine of Spam, NJ
oh autocorrect
you have mocked me yet again
why must I spell good?
Haiku # 75845, June 30, 2022 1:49 pm ET
by elevate of haiku rash
harken a larken
German translations are fun
stubbed my toezen
Haiku # 75844, June 30, 2022 1:46 pm ET
by Alfred Nickelbacken of WienerTown
it's a fucking desk
right in the fucking corner
time to fucking die
Haiku # 75843, June 30, 2022 1:38 pm ET
by f word fun of desk factory Mumbai
Buongiorno motherfuckers!
Haiku # 75841, June 30, 2022 10:21 am ET
by Bender of of Spaghetti
Science is scary
When you don't understand it
Because you're stupid
Haiku # 75840, June 30, 2022 9:41 am ET
by Praise Geeezus
Good Morning!
Haiku # 75839, June 30, 2022 2:44 am ET
by velolnen of Canada
Follow the Science!
Follow it right up your hole.
That's where your soul was.
Haiku # 75838, June 29, 2022 5:40 pm ET
by Wholistic Spirituality of Atheism Lite
Pfuck Pfizer. All lies.
Gates' father: Planned Parenthood.
Go look it up, dolt.
Haiku # 75837, June 29, 2022 5:38 pm ET
by Margaret Sanger of Your Mother
Same old characters
Just like here at Bad Haiku...
That's what you're saying?
Haiku # 75833, June 29, 2022 6:50 am ET
by Pinyin Ping-pong of Table Tennis
So-- back to Donald?
You return to him again...
For inspiration.
Haiku # 75831, June 29, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Cheeto 45 of Rent-free
Donald Trump’s mother
missed an opportunity
to abort that spawn
Haiku # 75830, June 29, 2022 12:55 am ET
by Coat hanger of Gold
Don't like abortion?
Well then you should ignore them
Just like school shootings
Haiku # 75828, June 28, 2022 9:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pinyin Chin Chin:
Your haiku will never win
Three characters in.
Haiku # 75827, June 28, 2022 6:59 am ET
by Stick to Aphorisms, Fool
I was just going to say that
Haiku # 75826, June 27, 2022 11:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
cyan the color
it's tattooed upon your skin
primordial birth
Haiku # 75824, June 26, 2022 11:12 am ET
by cyan of sleitchen tx
Baby and fetus
Are not the same thing dummy
And I don't like cheese
Haiku # 75823, June 26, 2022 12:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.
Haiku # 75822, June 25, 2022 7:26 pm ET
by Edna St. Vincent Milady of Modernist Hell
That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.
Haiku # 75821, June 25, 2022 5:28 pm ET
by Edna St. Vincent Milady of Modernist Hell
Do you like that cheese
With bits of baby in it?
Yes, I thought you would...
Haiku # 75820, June 24, 2022 6:34 am ET
by Darth Fetus of Holiday Appetizer Ideas
I hate abortion
But I love the fetus flesh
Not sure what to do
Haiku # 75819, June 23, 2022 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it's been far too long
and in spite of my desire
there is no haiku
Haiku # 75818, June 23, 2022 9:52 am ET
by ash of perhaps another time

They scream and destroy
because they want ABORTION.
So they are guilty.
Haiku # 75817, June 22, 2022 6:34 pm ET
by As Charged
So sorry comrade
The war is not going well
But soon, we head east
Haiku # 75816, June 22, 2022 5:46 pm ET
by Russian "volunteer" of Looking for food
January sixth
Was worse than the holocaust.
And it was Trump's fault!
Haiku # 75814, June 21, 2022 2:24 pm ET
by Jared Kushner of Holy Mt. Zion
Klaus Schwab is a dolt.
His re-set is really dumb.
He is so stupid.
Haiku # 75813, June 20, 2022 4:27 pm ET
by Globalist Leaders are Actually Not Smart of But You Are
Now you’re laying there
You let the murderer in
Roomba Class Action
Haiku # 75811, June 20, 2022 11:22 am ET
by Ophelia Queefe ( poet in residence) of The Law Offices of Cuntfart, Cuntfart, and Cunt
Cartier bracelet
You said you’d buy it for me
Cheap Darth Figpucker !!
Haiku # 75810, June 20, 2022 10:17 am ET
by Haiku Honey of Hive
This activity
involves millions of microbes
Now you’re making cheese
Haiku # 75809, June 20, 2022 10:05 am ET
by The Rat of Rathskeller
Politely declined:
Your offer of Camembert...
It was too runny.
Haiku # 75808, June 20, 2022 6:05 am ET
by Fine Cheeses of Fifth Drink
After the fifth drink
he confessed his fantasies:
“I want to fuck cheese.”
Haiku # 75807, June 20, 2022 3:32 am ET
by Drunk of Again
The Big (pussy) cat
Must go home and lick his wounds
Florida Hockey!
Haiku # 75805, June 18, 2022 11:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hey Bible Boyfriend
I'm here at the museum
Tired of this shit
Haiku # 75803, June 18, 2022 11:13 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
White Antarctica!
Muhammadiyah lies there,
covered in deep ice.
Haiku # 75802, June 16, 2022 10:46 am ET
by Guy with funny Beard and Holy Book of South Pole
You wanna get high?
Try Old Willow high test Ku(sh)
The sh’s silent
Haiku # 75800, June 15, 2022 3:34 am ET
by High Kookaburra of Gum Tree
Add a "ku" on there,
SharonGlymn, you guinea pig.
Then you get "haiku"
Haiku # 75799, June 14, 2022 10:35 pm ET
by You Sexy Software, You
hi
Haiku # 75798, June 14, 2022 6:14 pm ET
by SharonGlymn of Equatorial Guinea
You’ll earn more money
delivering newspapers
than writing haiku
Haiku # 75797, June 14, 2022 1:44 am ET
by Matsuo Basho’s Mother of (Channeled) Thanks, Shirley MacLaine
Lap of Luxury
At Home with Darth Figpucker
Unlimited Cheese
Haiku # 75796, June 13, 2022 9:19 pm ET
by Better Haiku and Gardens of Newsstand
Oh woe, woe is me.
My life has become haiku;
Haiku tragedy.
Haiku # 75795, June 13, 2022 4:31 pm ET
by Comedy of Tragic Haiku
I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire
Haiku # 75794, June 13, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Bugsy of Transylvania
I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
Haiku # 75793, June 13, 2022 2:01 pm ET
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
Haiku # 75791, June 13, 2022 9:04 am ET
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
Haiku # 75790, June 12, 2022 9:49 pm ET
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
Haiku # 75789, June 11, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
Haiku # 75788, June 10, 2022 9:04 pm ET
by MONARCH
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