The poet To Fu
bought an oscillating fan
and farted at it
by Your name of Carried by by the wind
the poet Tu Fu
walked next to the winding creek
unzipped took a leak
by Tu Fu's zipper of Pants too small
Gran found nootropics
discovering the right stack
it's epic pill time
by Dr. Oz of Sutnack
Read all about it
Mike Tyson prepare to box
Mutant uvula
by compère of u mom boxing glove
you can not spell Spam
without pam, perhaps she is
the mystery meat
by Meat Machine of Spam, NJ
oh autocorrect
you have mocked me yet again
why must I spell good?
by elevate of haiku rash
harken a larken
German translations are fun
stubbed my toezen
by Alfred Nickelbacken of WienerTown
it's a fucking desk
right in the fucking corner
time to fucking die
by f word fun of desk factory Mumbai
Buongiorno motherfuckers!
by Bender of of Spaghetti
Science is scary
When you don't understand it
Because you're stupid
by Praise Geeezus
Good Morning!
by velolnen of Canada
Follow the Science!
Follow it right up your hole.
That's where your soul was.
by Wholistic Spirituality of Atheism Lite
Pfuck Pfizer. All lies.
Gates' father: Planned Parenthood.
Go look it up, dolt.
by Margaret Sanger of Your Mother
Same old characters
Just like here at Bad Haiku...
That's what you're saying?
by Pinyin Ping-pong of Table Tennis
So-- back to Donald?
You return to him again...
For inspiration.
by Cheeto 45 of Rent-free
Donald Trump’s mother
missed an opportunity
to abort that spawn
by Coat hanger of Gold
Don't like abortion?
Well then you should ignore them
Just like school shootings
by Anonymous Poet
Pinyin Chin Chin:
Your haiku will never win
Three characters in.
by Stick to Aphorisms, Fool
I was just going to say that
by Anonymous Poet
cyan the color
it's tattooed upon your skin
primordial birth
by cyan of sleitchen tx
Baby and fetus
Are not the same thing dummy
And I don't like cheese
by Anonymous Poet
That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.
by Edna St. Vincent Milady of Modernist Hell
That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.
by Edna St. Vincent Milady of Modernist Hell
Do you like that cheese
With bits of baby in it?
Yes, I thought you would...
by Darth Fetus of Holiday Appetizer Ideas
I hate abortion
But I love the fetus flesh
Not sure what to do
by Anonymous Poet
it's been far too long
and in spite of my desire
there is no haiku
by ash of perhaps another time
They scream and destroy
because they want ABORTION.
So they are guilty.
by As Charged
So sorry comrade
The war is not going well
But soon, we head east
by Russian "volunteer" of Looking for food
January sixth
Was worse than the holocaust.
And it was Trump's fault!
by Jared Kushner of Holy Mt. Zion
Klaus Schwab is a dolt.
His re-set is really dumb.
He is so stupid.
by Globalist Leaders are Actually Not Smart of But You Are
Now you’re laying there
You let the murderer in
Roomba Class Action
by Ophelia Queefe ( poet in residence) of The Law Offices of Cuntfart, Cuntfart, and Cunt
Cartier bracelet
You said you’d buy it for me
Cheap Darth Figpucker !!
by Haiku Honey of Hive
This activity
involves millions of microbes
Now you’re making cheese
by The Rat of Rathskeller
Politely declined:
Your offer of Camembert...
It was too runny.
by Fine Cheeses of Fifth Drink
After the fifth drink
he confessed his fantasies:
“I want to fuck cheese.”
by Drunk of Again
The Big (pussy) cat
Must go home and lick his wounds
Florida Hockey!
by Anonymous Poet
Hey Bible Boyfriend
I'm here at the museum
Tired of this shit
by Cyan of SLTX
White Antarctica!
Muhammadiyah lies there,
covered in deep ice.
by Guy with funny Beard and Holy Book of South Pole
You wanna get high?
Try Old Willow high test Ku(sh)
The sh’s silent
by High Kookaburra of Gum Tree
Add a "ku" on there,
SharonGlymn, you guinea pig.
Then you get "haiku"
by You Sexy Software, You
hi
by SharonGlymn of Equatorial Guinea
You’ll earn more money
delivering newspapers
than writing haiku
by Matsuo Basho’s Mother of (Channeled) Thanks, Shirley MacLaine
Lap of Luxury
At Home with Darth Figpucker
Unlimited Cheese
by Better Haiku and Gardens of Newsstand
Oh woe, woe is me.
My life has become haiku;
Haiku tragedy.
by Comedy of Tragic Haiku
I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire
by Bugsy of Transylvania
I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
by MONARCH
