Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
Haiku # 75790, June 12, 2022 9:49 pm ET
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
Haiku # 75789, June 11, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
Haiku # 75788, June 10, 2022 9:04 pm ET
by MONARCH
It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found
Haiku # 75787, June 10, 2022 3:16 pm ET
by Looking back of In the past
His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second
Haiku # 75786, June 10, 2022 2:41 pm ET
by You (#2) of 2nd Place
I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.
Haiku # 75785, June 9, 2022 3:14 pm ET
by Eric Swallowell of Langley, VA
Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed


At least:[12][8][3]

18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges
Haiku # 75784, June 9, 2022 12:05 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles
Haiku # 75783, June 9, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Pain of Schwinntestines
A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why
Haiku # 75782, June 9, 2022 10:49 am ET
by 18 USC of 2381
How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.
Haiku # 75781, June 9, 2022 8:50 am ET
by Vladimir P. of Arkangelsk
Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo
Haiku # 75780, June 8, 2022 10:30 pm ET
by Celestial Counselor of The Ethers
So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
Haiku # 75779, June 8, 2022 6:19 pm ET
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
Haiku # 75778, June 8, 2022 12:17 pm ET
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
Haiku # 75777, June 7, 2022 8:10 pm ET
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
Haiku # 75775, June 7, 2022 5:36 am ET
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
Haiku # 75774, June 7, 2022 4:16 am ET
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
Haiku # 75773, June 7, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
Haiku # 75762, June 6, 2022 6:03 am ET
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
Haiku # 75761, June 6, 2022 1:39 am ET
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
Haiku # 75760, June 5, 2022 5:27 pm ET
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
No, Dr. Bateson.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on every count.
And unremembered.
Haiku # 75759, June 5, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies
Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
Haiku # 75758, June 5, 2022 5:16 pm ET
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
Haiku # 75757, June 5, 2022 4:52 pm ET
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
Haiku # 75756, June 5, 2022 4:46 pm ET
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
Haiku # 75755, June 5, 2022 4:40 pm ET
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
Haiku # 75754, June 5, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
Haiku # 75753, June 5, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
Haiku # 75752, June 5, 2022 4:26 pm ET
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
Haiku # 75751, June 5, 2022 4:19 pm ET
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
Haiku # 75750, June 5, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
Haiku # 75749, June 4, 2022 12:39 pm ET
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
Haiku # 75748, June 4, 2022 11:49 am ET
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
Haiku # 75747, June 4, 2022 8:27 am ET
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
Haiku # 75745, June 3, 2022 4:58 pm ET
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
Haiku # 75744, June 3, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
Haiku # 75741, June 3, 2022 1:54 pm ET
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
Tomorrow: Birthday!
I didn't ask for any gifts
Just for happiness
Haiku # 75740, June 3, 2022 11:57 am ET
by Cyan of Here
Gregory Bateson:
ethno-goofball lost at sea.
Divorced three times. Great,
Haiku # 75739, June 3, 2022 11:19 am ET
by Messages and Pathways of the Supreme Cybernetic System
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