Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 271 Days and 75949 Haiku later...

municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
Haiku # 75741, June 3, 2022 1:54 pm ET
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
Tomorrow: Birthday!
I didn't ask for any gifts
Just for happiness
Haiku # 75740, June 3, 2022 11:57 am ET
by Cyan of Here
Gregory Bateson:
ethno-goofball lost at sea.
Divorced three times. Great,
Haiku # 75739, June 3, 2022 11:19 am ET
by Messages and Pathways of the Supreme Cybernetic System
Showing my true self
Evil, selfish, and unkind
Need a new mirror
Haiku # 75738, June 3, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Cyan
The Finders. So weird.
Those spooks. . . what were they up to?
And why with children?
Haiku # 75737, June 2, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by We've Read The Docs of TouYube Channel
Getting put under
the ocean in a new pair
of cement shoes. Dull.
Haiku # 75736, June 2, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Concrete Cobbler of New Jersey
Getting put under
I expected to be scared
It was just boring
Haiku # 75735, June 2, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of Hospital in HTX
Another visit
and a clean page of haiku
So satisfying.
Haiku # 75734, June 2, 2022 9:42 am ET
by Janis of Winning the war on spam (for now)
If you have a sty
In your eye then you must see
As pigs view the world.
Haiku # 75733, June 2, 2022 6:32 am ET
by Here's Mud in your Eye of OINK
Alan Parsons' song:
I am the stye in your eye,
Gazing at yoo-ouu...
Haiku # 75732, June 2, 2022 6:28 am ET
by I Can Read Your Haiku
I had surgery
There was a stye in my eye
Doxycycline
Haiku # 75731, June 1, 2022 10:12 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX; Hospital @ HTX
Cyan girl, what UP?
Why you always say "girl", girl?
Must mean you a man.
Haiku # 75730, June 1, 2022 12:56 pm ET
by Scrub This of Scrub-a-Dub
Old lady book club
Doomed romance and time travel
Time traveler’s wife
Haiku # 75729, May 31, 2022 7:01 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
i don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy who can't
get no love from me
Haiku # 75728, May 31, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by TLC of working from home
Cyan cyan girl
It’s me talking to you, girl
I’m talking to you
Haiku # 75727, May 31, 2022 12:30 pm ET
by Cyan of course of Texas
Recalibrated:
The haiku hockey-star Darth.
This fig does not puck...
Haiku # 75726, May 31, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by N.H.L of Face-off on Ice
Rejuvenated
The poet formerly known
as Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 75725, May 31, 2022 9:53 am ET
by Cocoon of Cheese
Yes, God is the Lord.
He rules and reigns over us.
And you just LOVE that.
Haiku # 75724, May 31, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Don't You
Another shooting!
The media are on it:
Darth shot off his mouth.
Haiku # 75723, May 31, 2022 6:15 am ET
by Figpucker of Speech
Science is a myth.
Science is the enemy.
Science must be stopped.
Haiku # 75722, May 31, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Sad My End-ist of Spoonerd
Please trust the science.
Then you will not be afraid.
Trust. Just trust. Just TRUST.
Haiku # 75721, May 31, 2022 5:50 am ET
by Science is Superstition of Bronze Age
Zen koan question:
Do bearded clams have mussels?
Shell out for answer.
Haiku # 75720, May 31, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pay to Play of Poontang Dynasty
Woman gives man box
Man asks if box contains fish
Just one bearded clam
Haiku # 75719, May 31, 2022 1:21 am ET
by Night of 7 Fishes and 1 douchebag
Welcome to the v o i d
Nothing here but me and you
Hey!! Did you just fart?
Haiku # 75718, May 30, 2022 11:51 pm ET
by Cyan of Whoever smelt it felt it SLTX
Man gives woman box
Woman asks if it's present
Man says it's future
They go way, way back
Haiku # 75717, May 30, 2022 11:43 pm ET
by MONARCH
Syllabababels:
life is measured out in them,
said T.S. Eliot
Haiku # 75716, May 30, 2022 7:33 pm ET
by Well, He Didn't Say It Explicitly of Wasteland
Extra syllable
You could have it removed or
Learn to live with it
Haiku # 75715, May 30, 2022 11:01 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Geppetto’s splinter
Pinocchio’s morning wood
A coincidence?
Haiku # 75714, May 30, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Puppetry of The poet
I bet it is him
Haiku ventriloquism
Syllable jizzum
Haiku # 75713, May 30, 2022 5:54 am ET
by Darth Potsticker of Food Truck
What is going on?
Watched a documentary
Paying for CAPTCHAs
Haiku # 75712, May 29, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX (by the way the documentary was interesting; companies pay people to do captchas for spam)
War of attrition
A spam bot superhero
It's all an arms race.
Haiku # 75711, May 29, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Janis of reCapcha is a broken defeated technology
Cyan, you're boring
And you don't make any sense
You must be a bot
Haiku # 75710, May 29, 2022 3:57 pm ET
by SLTX My Assets of Algo Ritmico
I want to talk, too
Today may end up the day...
Anyway, goodnight
Haiku # 75709, May 29, 2022 10:30 am ET
by Cyan is awake and ready of Werk werk werk werk werk werk in SLTX
Good night, Bad Haiku
I’ll speak to you tomorrow
In the meantime: rest
Haiku # 75708, May 28, 2022 11:37 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Good morning to you
I am eating cereal
Ready to go home
Haiku # 75706, May 28, 2022 9:39 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
You say you a girl,
but you have one of THOSE things?
You are a strange girl.
Haiku # 75703, May 27, 2022 5:30 pm ET
by Men's Club of Members Only
Why are you so mean?
I'm literally just a girl
And I need some sleep
Haiku # 75702, May 27, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Near to forsook God.
This foul world is so wicked.
Only the Lord knows.
Haiku # 75701, May 27, 2022 2:03 pm ET
by Preacher of Great Smoky Mountains
Admit it, CYAN:
You are the same Figpucker
As you always were.
Haiku # 75695, May 26, 2022 9:44 pm ET
by Noticer of Haiku and Worse
She wrote an essay:
How To Murder Your Husband
Guess who got murdered?
Haiku # 75693, May 26, 2022 8:55 pm ET
by Murder of She wrote
Stop calling me Bot
My name is Cyan Yvette
Almost my birthday
Haiku # 75692, May 26, 2022 2:51 pm ET
by CYAN CYAN CYAN of I WAS IN HOUSTON TODAY
stuck in a wheelchair
Abbott looks at Beto and
cries "push me daddy!!"
Haiku # 75690, May 26, 2022 9:41 am ET
by Remember of Alamo
here's a solution:
give every gun it's own gun
let them have at it
Haiku # 75689, May 26, 2022 9:36 am ET
by Corder Bollie of Too soon
girlfriend angry now
who cares if my attitude
is like dried cat turd
Haiku # 75688, May 26, 2022 9:33 am ET
by Cat Turd of Dog House
amethyst pie rings
like a pie made of crystal
on your fat fingies
Haiku # 75687, May 26, 2022 9:31 am ET
by Phat Phingers of Rock Tarts and Other Baked Shit
Encase each school kid
In bulletproof plexiglass.
Problem solved for you.
Haiku # 75685, May 26, 2022 6:19 am ET
by Anti-social Teen Research Grant of Uvalde TX
Way to go Texas
You should arm the school children
Yes, that will fix it.
Haiku # 75684, May 26, 2022 12:42 am ET
by The problem with guns is we don't have enough of them
Oh cry, cry for me.
Once I was stunning and brave--
Now I'm just dead. (End.)
Haiku # 75683, May 25, 2022 10:40 pm ET
by Rear End of Advance Guard
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