I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
by MONARCH
It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found
by Looking back of In the past
His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second
by You (#2) of 2nd Place
I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.
by Eric Swallowell of Langley, VA
Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed
At least:[12][8][3]
18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges
by Noticer of Details
Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles
by Pain of Schwinntestines
A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why
by 18 USC of 2381
How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.
by Vladimir P. of Arkangelsk
Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo
by Celestial Counselor of The Ethers
So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
No, Dr. Bateson.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on every count.
And unremembered.
by Margaret Bateson of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies
Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
