Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 21 Days and 77399 Haiku later...

Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
Haiku # 75762, June 6, 2022 6:03 am ET
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
Haiku # 75761, June 6, 2022 1:39 am ET
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
Haiku # 75760, June 5, 2022 5:27 pm ET
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
No, Dr. Bateson.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on every count.
And unremembered.
Haiku # 75759, June 5, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies
Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
Haiku # 75758, June 5, 2022 5:16 pm ET
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
Haiku # 75757, June 5, 2022 4:52 pm ET
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
Haiku # 75756, June 5, 2022 4:46 pm ET
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
Haiku # 75755, June 5, 2022 4:40 pm ET
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
Haiku # 75754, June 5, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
Haiku # 75753, June 5, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
Haiku # 75752, June 5, 2022 4:26 pm ET
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
Haiku # 75751, June 5, 2022 4:19 pm ET
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
Haiku # 75750, June 5, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
Haiku # 75749, June 4, 2022 12:39 pm ET
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
Haiku # 75748, June 4, 2022 11:49 am ET
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
Haiku # 75747, June 4, 2022 8:27 am ET
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
Haiku # 75745, June 3, 2022 4:58 pm ET
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
Haiku # 75744, June 3, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
Haiku # 75741, June 3, 2022 1:54 pm ET
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
Tomorrow: Birthday!
I didn't ask for any gifts
Just for happiness
Haiku # 75740, June 3, 2022 11:57 am ET
by Cyan of Here
Gregory Bateson:
ethno-goofball lost at sea.
Divorced three times. Great,
Haiku # 75739, June 3, 2022 11:19 am ET
by Messages and Pathways of the Supreme Cybernetic System
Showing my true self
Evil, selfish, and unkind
Need a new mirror
Haiku # 75738, June 3, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Cyan
The Finders. So weird.
Those spooks. . . what were they up to?
And why with children?
Haiku # 75737, June 2, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by We've Read The Docs of TouYube Channel
Getting put under
the ocean in a new pair
of cement shoes. Dull.
Haiku # 75736, June 2, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Concrete Cobbler of New Jersey
Getting put under
I expected to be scared
It was just boring
Haiku # 75735, June 2, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of Hospital in HTX
Another visit
and a clean page of haiku
So satisfying.
Haiku # 75734, June 2, 2022 9:42 am ET
by Janis of Winning the war on spam (for now)
If you have a sty
In your eye then you must see
As pigs view the world.
Haiku # 75733, June 2, 2022 6:32 am ET
by Here's Mud in your Eye of OINK
Alan Parsons' song:
I am the stye in your eye,
Gazing at yoo-ouu...
Haiku # 75732, June 2, 2022 6:28 am ET
by I Can Read Your Haiku
I had surgery
There was a stye in my eye
Doxycycline
Haiku # 75731, June 1, 2022 10:12 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX; Hospital @ HTX
Cyan girl, what UP?
Why you always say "girl", girl?
Must mean you a man.
Haiku # 75730, June 1, 2022 12:56 pm ET
by Scrub This of Scrub-a-Dub
Old lady book club
Doomed romance and time travel
Time traveler’s wife
Haiku # 75729, May 31, 2022 7:01 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
i don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy who can't
get no love from me
Haiku # 75728, May 31, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by TLC of working from home
Cyan cyan girl
It’s me talking to you, girl
I’m talking to you
Haiku # 75727, May 31, 2022 12:30 pm ET
by Cyan of course of Texas
Recalibrated:
The haiku hockey-star Darth.
This fig does not puck...
Haiku # 75726, May 31, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by N.H.L of Face-off on Ice
Rejuvenated
The poet formerly known
as Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 75725, May 31, 2022 9:53 am ET
by Cocoon of Cheese
Yes, God is the Lord.
He rules and reigns over us.
And you just LOVE that.
Haiku # 75724, May 31, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Don't You
Another shooting!
The media are on it:
Darth shot off his mouth.
Haiku # 75723, May 31, 2022 6:15 am ET
by Figpucker of Speech
Science is a myth.
Science is the enemy.
Science must be stopped.
Haiku # 75722, May 31, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Sad My End-ist of Spoonerd
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