Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 271 Days and 75949 Haiku later...

Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
Haiku # 75758, June 5, 2022 5:16 pm ET
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
Haiku # 75757, June 5, 2022 4:52 pm ET
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
Haiku # 75756, June 5, 2022 4:46 pm ET
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
Haiku # 75755, June 5, 2022 4:40 pm ET
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
Haiku # 75754, June 5, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
Haiku # 75753, June 5, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
Haiku # 75752, June 5, 2022 4:26 pm ET
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
Haiku # 75751, June 5, 2022 4:19 pm ET
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
Haiku # 75750, June 5, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
Haiku # 75749, June 4, 2022 12:39 pm ET
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
Haiku # 75748, June 4, 2022 11:49 am ET
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
Haiku # 75747, June 4, 2022 8:27 am ET
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
Haiku # 75745, June 3, 2022 4:58 pm ET
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
Haiku # 75744, June 3, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
Haiku # 75741, June 3, 2022 1:54 pm ET
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
Tomorrow: Birthday!
I didn't ask for any gifts
Just for happiness
Haiku # 75740, June 3, 2022 11:57 am ET
by Cyan of Here
Gregory Bateson:
ethno-goofball lost at sea.
Divorced three times. Great,
Haiku # 75739, June 3, 2022 11:19 am ET
by Messages and Pathways of the Supreme Cybernetic System
Showing my true self
Evil, selfish, and unkind
Need a new mirror
Haiku # 75738, June 3, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Cyan
The Finders. So weird.
Those spooks. . . what were they up to?
And why with children?
Haiku # 75737, June 2, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by We've Read The Docs of TouYube Channel
Getting put under
the ocean in a new pair
of cement shoes. Dull.
Haiku # 75736, June 2, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Concrete Cobbler of New Jersey
Getting put under
I expected to be scared
It was just boring
Haiku # 75735, June 2, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of Hospital in HTX
Another visit
and a clean page of haiku
So satisfying.
Haiku # 75734, June 2, 2022 9:42 am ET
by Janis of Winning the war on spam (for now)
If you have a sty
In your eye then you must see
As pigs view the world.
Haiku # 75733, June 2, 2022 6:32 am ET
by Here's Mud in your Eye of OINK
Alan Parsons' song:
I am the stye in your eye,
Gazing at yoo-ouu...
Haiku # 75732, June 2, 2022 6:28 am ET
by I Can Read Your Haiku
I had surgery
There was a stye in my eye
Doxycycline
Haiku # 75731, June 1, 2022 10:12 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX; Hospital @ HTX
Cyan girl, what UP?
Why you always say "girl", girl?
Must mean you a man.
Haiku # 75730, June 1, 2022 12:56 pm ET
by Scrub This of Scrub-a-Dub
Old lady book club
Doomed romance and time travel
Time traveler’s wife
Haiku # 75729, May 31, 2022 7:01 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
i don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy who can't
get no love from me
Haiku # 75728, May 31, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by TLC of working from home
Cyan cyan girl
It’s me talking to you, girl
I’m talking to you
Haiku # 75727, May 31, 2022 12:30 pm ET
by Cyan of course of Texas
Recalibrated:
The haiku hockey-star Darth.
This fig does not puck...
Haiku # 75726, May 31, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by N.H.L of Face-off on Ice
Rejuvenated
The poet formerly known
as Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 75725, May 31, 2022 9:53 am ET
by Cocoon of Cheese
Yes, God is the Lord.
He rules and reigns over us.
And you just LOVE that.
Haiku # 75724, May 31, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Don't You
Another shooting!
The media are on it:
Darth shot off his mouth.
Haiku # 75723, May 31, 2022 6:15 am ET
by Figpucker of Speech
Science is a myth.
Science is the enemy.
Science must be stopped.
Haiku # 75722, May 31, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Sad My End-ist of Spoonerd
Please trust the science.
Then you will not be afraid.
Trust. Just trust. Just TRUST.
Haiku # 75721, May 31, 2022 5:50 am ET
by Science is Superstition of Bronze Age
Zen koan question:
Do bearded clams have mussels?
Shell out for answer.
Haiku # 75720, May 31, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Pay to Play of Poontang Dynasty
Woman gives man box
Man asks if box contains fish
Just one bearded clam
Haiku # 75719, May 31, 2022 1:21 am ET
by Night of 7 Fishes and 1 douchebag
Welcome to the v o i d
Nothing here but me and you
Hey!! Did you just fart?
Haiku # 75718, May 30, 2022 11:51 pm ET
by Cyan of Whoever smelt it felt it SLTX
Man gives woman box
Woman asks if it's present
Man says it's future
They go way, way back
Haiku # 75717, May 30, 2022 11:43 pm ET
by MONARCH
Syllabababels:
life is measured out in them,
said T.S. Eliot
Haiku # 75716, May 30, 2022 7:33 pm ET
by Well, He Didn't Say It Explicitly of Wasteland
Extra syllable
You could have it removed or
Learn to live with it
Haiku # 75715, May 30, 2022 11:01 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Geppetto’s splinter
Pinocchio’s morning wood
A coincidence?
Haiku # 75714, May 30, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Puppetry of The poet
I bet it is him
Haiku ventriloquism
Syllable jizzum
Haiku # 75713, May 30, 2022 5:54 am ET
by Darth Potsticker of Food Truck
What is going on?
Watched a documentary
Paying for CAPTCHAs
Haiku # 75712, May 29, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX (by the way the documentary was interesting; companies pay people to do captchas for spam)
War of attrition
A spam bot superhero
It's all an arms race.
Haiku # 75711, May 29, 2022 4:01 pm ET
by Janis of reCapcha is a broken defeated technology
Cyan, you're boring
And you don't make any sense
You must be a bot
Haiku # 75710, May 29, 2022 3:57 pm ET
by SLTX My Assets of Algo Ritmico
I want to talk, too
Today may end up the day...
Anyway, goodnight
Haiku # 75709, May 29, 2022 10:30 am ET
by Cyan is awake and ready of Werk werk werk werk werk werk in SLTX
Good night, Bad Haiku
I’ll speak to you tomorrow
In the meantime: rest
Haiku # 75708, May 28, 2022 11:37 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
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