Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
Haiku # 75779, June 8, 2022 6:19 pm ET
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
Haiku # 75778, June 8, 2022 12:17 pm ET
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
Haiku # 75777, June 7, 2022 8:10 pm ET
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
Haiku # 75775, June 7, 2022 5:36 am ET
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
Haiku # 75774, June 7, 2022 4:16 am ET
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
Haiku # 75773, June 7, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
Haiku # 75762, June 6, 2022 6:03 am ET
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
Haiku # 75761, June 6, 2022 1:39 am ET
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
Haiku # 75760, June 5, 2022 5:27 pm ET
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
No, Dr. Bateson.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on every count.
And unremembered.
Haiku # 75759, June 5, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies
Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
Haiku # 75758, June 5, 2022 5:16 pm ET
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
Haiku # 75757, June 5, 2022 4:52 pm ET
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
Haiku # 75756, June 5, 2022 4:46 pm ET
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
Haiku # 75755, June 5, 2022 4:40 pm ET
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
Haiku # 75754, June 5, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
Haiku # 75753, June 5, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
Haiku # 75752, June 5, 2022 4:26 pm ET
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
Haiku # 75751, June 5, 2022 4:19 pm ET
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
Haiku # 75750, June 5, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
Haiku # 75749, June 4, 2022 12:39 pm ET
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
Haiku # 75748, June 4, 2022 11:49 am ET
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
Haiku # 75747, June 4, 2022 8:27 am ET
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
Haiku # 75745, June 3, 2022 4:58 pm ET
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
Haiku # 75744, June 3, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
life slips through fingers
thorns of roses under nails
cancel my birthday
Haiku # 75741, June 3, 2022 1:54 pm ET
by Amity C of CoutuRRREEEE
Tomorrow: Birthday!
I didn't ask for any gifts
Just for happiness
Haiku # 75740, June 3, 2022 11:57 am ET
by Cyan of Here
Gregory Bateson:
ethno-goofball lost at sea.
Divorced three times. Great,
Haiku # 75739, June 3, 2022 11:19 am ET
by Messages and Pathways of the Supreme Cybernetic System
Showing my true self
Evil, selfish, and unkind
Need a new mirror
Haiku # 75738, June 3, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Cyan
The Finders. So weird.
Those spooks. . . what were they up to?
And why with children?
Haiku # 75737, June 2, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by We've Read The Docs of TouYube Channel
Getting put under
the ocean in a new pair
of cement shoes. Dull.
Haiku # 75736, June 2, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Concrete Cobbler of New Jersey
Getting put under
I expected to be scared
It was just boring
Haiku # 75735, June 2, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of Hospital in HTX
Another visit
and a clean page of haiku
So satisfying.
Haiku # 75734, June 2, 2022 9:42 am ET
by Janis of Winning the war on spam (for now)
If you have a sty
In your eye then you must see
As pigs view the world.
Haiku # 75733, June 2, 2022 6:32 am ET
by Here's Mud in your Eye of OINK
Alan Parsons' song:
I am the stye in your eye,
Gazing at yoo-ouu...
Haiku # 75732, June 2, 2022 6:28 am ET
by I Can Read Your Haiku
I had surgery
There was a stye in my eye
Doxycycline
Haiku # 75731, June 1, 2022 10:12 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX; Hospital @ HTX
Cyan girl, what UP?
Why you always say "girl", girl?
Must mean you a man.
Haiku # 75730, June 1, 2022 12:56 pm ET
by Scrub This of Scrub-a-Dub
Old lady book club
Doomed romance and time travel
Time traveler’s wife
Haiku # 75729, May 31, 2022 7:01 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
i don't want no scrub
a scrub is a guy who can't
get no love from me
Haiku # 75728, May 31, 2022 4:54 pm ET
by TLC of working from home
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