Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77130 Haiku later...

Near to forsook God.
This foul world is so wicked.
Only the Lord knows.
Haiku # 75701, May 27, 2022 2:03 pm ET
by Preacher of Great Smoky Mountains
Admit it, CYAN:
You are the same Figpucker
As you always were.
Haiku # 75695, May 26, 2022 9:44 pm ET
by Noticer of Haiku and Worse
She wrote an essay:
How To Murder Your Husband
Guess who got murdered?
Haiku # 75693, May 26, 2022 8:55 pm ET
by Murder of She wrote
Stop calling me Bot
My name is Cyan Yvette
Almost my birthday
Haiku # 75692, May 26, 2022 2:51 pm ET
stuck in a wheelchair
Abbott looks at Beto and
cries "push me daddy!!"
Haiku # 75690, May 26, 2022 9:41 am ET
by Remember of Alamo
here's a solution:
give every gun it's own gun
let them have at it
Haiku # 75689, May 26, 2022 9:36 am ET
by Corder Bollie of Too soon
girlfriend angry now
who cares if my attitude
is like dried cat turd
Haiku # 75688, May 26, 2022 9:33 am ET
by Cat Turd of Dog House
amethyst pie rings
like a pie made of crystal
on your fat fingies
Haiku # 75687, May 26, 2022 9:31 am ET
by Phat Phingers of Rock Tarts and Other Baked Shit
Encase each school kid
In bulletproof plexiglass.
Problem solved for you.
Haiku # 75685, May 26, 2022 6:19 am ET
by Anti-social Teen Research Grant of Uvalde TX
Way to go Texas
You should arm the school children
Yes, that will fix it.
Haiku # 75684, May 26, 2022 12:42 am ET
by The problem with guns is we don't have enough of them
Oh cry, cry for me.
Once I was stunning and brave--
Now I'm just dead. (End.)
Haiku # 75683, May 25, 2022 10:40 pm ET
by Rear End of Advance Guard
Grandma has a schlong
Since grandma is my grandpa
And they is my son.
Haiku # 75682, May 25, 2022 10:36 pm ET
by Go Figger of GLBTX19B-12
"Cyan" is a bot,
But Darth is really a fig...
or just a pucker.
Haiku # 75681, May 25, 2022 10:30 pm ET
by Fig-pucking of National Haiku League
Brazil you bad boy,
You get no IMF loans.
No dessert for you.
Haiku # 75680, May 25, 2022 10:26 pm ET
by World Economic Fart of DAVOS
Ha ha, God exists.
I'm sorry for all of you
and for Janis, too.
Haiku # 75679, May 25, 2022 10:22 pm ET
by C U at Great White Throne of Cue Up Figpucker's Finely-crafted Response
Lockdown for Bill Gates!
Lock him up in his sweater,
that fake-ass doctor...
Haiku # 75678, May 25, 2022 10:18 pm ET
by Ignore Globalist Mandates as a Way of Life
Missing my boyfriend
Well, we actually broke up
I was dumped by him
Haiku # 75677, May 25, 2022 7:36 pm ET
by Cyan’s true life of I was dumped in HTX
Who got Monkey-pox?
Me no want the Monkey-pox.
WHO made Monkey-pox !
Haiku # 75674, May 25, 2022 4:18 pm ET
by Pox Americana of World Haiku Organization
Submit your haikus
Stories of your ancestors
This is so Stup-id
Haiku # 75673, May 25, 2022 3:44 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX of course
Henry Kissinger:
"Please, please-- I'm still relevant.
Chomsky is a dud."
Haiku # 75669, May 25, 2022 6:49 am ET
by "And I'm Still An Antichrist" of "Believe Me"
Ukraine has got this.
The evil Putin has lost.
On to the next lie.
Haiku # 75668, May 25, 2022 6:35 am ET
by That Arson Guy of Food Industries
Her lips opened up
But not the lips that can speak
Hot lesbian porn
Haiku # 75666, May 24, 2022 11:05 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Cassowary bird
Cassowary Crossing Zone
Bird is the word, man!
Haiku # 75664, May 24, 2022 10:08 pm ET
by Bird Pervert of Chin hair, New Jersey
If you’re flinging shit
You might have the monkey pox
You might be an ass
Haiku # 75661, May 24, 2022 12:15 pm ET
by Nurse Dirtyknees of Mobile
Calculator god
Rebel Wilson looks worse now
I love BeChloe
Haiku # 75660, May 24, 2022 10:25 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
The internet is mine!
I am clearly the greatest.
Bow in obeisance.
Haiku # 75659, May 24, 2022 7:58 am ET
by Humility of Haiku Hologram
Begone, Evgeny.
Get thee to Fiji forthwith,
Foul and faithless bot.
Haiku # 75658, May 24, 2022 7:56 am ET
by BertrandDXNepal of Never Trust a Bot
Damn. All y'all aint SHEET.
Y'all got sheets with holes for eyes.
Haiku extremists
Haiku # 75657, May 24, 2022 7:48 am ET
by Tyrone Whiteman, Department of Haiku Homeland Security
You dare cut and paste?
Prithee sirrah. Now, taste death:
My sharpened haiku!
Haiku # 75656, May 24, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Dullest Butter-knife of Gallant Kitchen
Dearest Uncle Clem:
I've not heered nuthin' from you
Since our mama died.
Haiku # 75654, May 24, 2022 7:40 am ET
by Haiku Telegram of Smoky Mountains 1938
Preeze, A-meri-kan:
Differentiate. Ah-so...
Haikai no renga.
Haiku # 75653, May 24, 2022 7:36 am ET
by Troubur Wiz Retta "R" of NIPPON
Haiku's BACK, bitches.
Haiku be getting REAL now.
Haiku call the shots.
Haiku # 75652, May 24, 2022 7:33 am ET
by Hardest Haikai of Yokohama Lockdown
Monkey-pox virus:
It's now trending on Twitter.
Get with the new trend!
Haiku # 75651, May 24, 2022 7:27 am ET
by We've Got More For You of WHO
I am the greatest
non-transgender non-woman.
I'm stunning and brave.
Haiku # 75650, May 24, 2022 7:10 am ET
by Celebrate Me NOW of Mental Nation
I am the first one:
A non-transgender woman
with a huge willie.
Haiku # 75645, May 23, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by A Man is a Woman of COURSE
You abuse my sun.
My great gold African sun.
Ehh. You are foolish.
Haiku # 75644, May 23, 2022 3:47 pm ET
by Mfupe Mwanamjinga of Uppsala Sweden
My eyes cannot see
Woke up in total darkness
Crusty eye shut closed
Haiku # 75642, May 23, 2022 7:27 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX in bed
Smell of champions
Wafting over jasmine blooms
Jock strap serenade
Haiku # 75641, May 23, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Football of Football football
Do I smell onions?
Is it the halitosis
of Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75638, May 22, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Shrek of A voice in your head
This site is so done.
It's totally gone to shit.
Two people and bots...
Haiku # 75636, May 22, 2022 7:35 pm ET
by Calling it Quits for Janis of Toronto
One another's hands
Holding my hand holding yours
Hand-hold inception
Haiku # 75635, May 22, 2022 2:45 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX @ work
You are so funny.
You've invented a new word:
Haiku # 75630, May 22, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Al Haji Mandelbaum of Bhutan, NJ
Last night: went on date
Felt super weird about it
Now I’m crying UGH
Haiku # 75627, May 21, 2022 9:26 pm ET
by Cyan of I don’t wanna be on this planet
I am cyrillic.
I am minion of Putin.
I am an onion.
Haiku # 75625, May 21, 2022 6:58 pm ET
by Bot Who Posts Porn Links As "Haiku"
Toto by Afric'
Worst song ever made. Ever.
Listening on loop
Haiku # 75619, May 20, 2022 1:19 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN cyan Cyan of SLTX BABEYYYY sugar land all day
I am happy bot.
I make a haiku for you.
God bless the white race !
Haiku # 75616, May 20, 2022 9:40 am ET
by Chinese Technology of Afrika
Tom Boseley's man-thing
loves both you and your fake god
(the one on your lawn).
Haiku # 75615, May 20, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Imam Al Sharif Hirschwitz of Lawn Guyland NY
Fuck you and your god
Because you are both sexy
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 75614, May 20, 2022 4:21 am ET
by This means I like you
Good afternoon, sir
I’m sending you a message
I miss you a lot!
Haiku # 75612, May 19, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN of Here
clap back snack attack
rank ass pussy be sweatin
ruining my lunch
Haiku # 75611, May 19, 2022 5:03 pm ET
by Lunicingus of French Hair Pie
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