Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 321 Days and 76083 Haiku later...

Begone, Evgeny.
Get thee to Fiji forthwith,
Foul and faithless bot.
Haiku # 75658, May 24, 2022 7:56 am ET
by BertrandDXNepal of Never Trust a Bot
Damn. All y'all aint SHEET.
Y'all got sheets with holes for eyes.
Haiku extremists
Haiku # 75657, May 24, 2022 7:48 am ET
by Tyrone Whiteman, Department of Haiku Homeland Security
You dare cut and paste?
Prithee sirrah. Now, taste death:
My sharpened haiku!
Haiku # 75656, May 24, 2022 7:43 am ET
by Dullest Butter-knife of Gallant Kitchen
Dearest Uncle Clem:
I've not heered nuthin' from you
Since our mama died.
Haiku # 75654, May 24, 2022 7:40 am ET
by Haiku Telegram of Smoky Mountains 1938
Preeze, A-meri-kan:
Differentiate. Ah-so...
Haikai no renga.
Haiku # 75653, May 24, 2022 7:36 am ET
by Troubur Wiz Retta "R" of NIPPON
Haiku's BACK, bitches.
Haiku be getting REAL now.
Haiku call the shots.
Haiku # 75652, May 24, 2022 7:33 am ET
by Hardest Haikai of Yokohama Lockdown
Monkey-pox virus:
It's now trending on Twitter.
Get with the new trend!
Haiku # 75651, May 24, 2022 7:27 am ET
by We've Got More For You of WHO
I am the greatest
non-transgender non-woman.
I'm stunning and brave.
Haiku # 75650, May 24, 2022 7:10 am ET
by Celebrate Me NOW of Mental Nation
I am the first one:
A non-transgender woman
with a huge willie.
Haiku # 75645, May 23, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by A Man is a Woman of COURSE
You abuse my sun.
My great gold African sun.
Ehh. You are foolish.
Haiku # 75644, May 23, 2022 3:47 pm ET
by Mfupe Mwanamjinga of Uppsala Sweden
My eyes cannot see
Woke up in total darkness
Crusty eye shut closed
Haiku # 75642, May 23, 2022 7:27 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX in bed
Smell of champions
Wafting over jasmine blooms
Jock strap serenade
Haiku # 75641, May 23, 2022 6:17 am ET
by Football of Football football
Do I smell onions?
Is it the halitosis
of Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75638, May 22, 2022 10:11 pm ET
by Shrek of A voice in your head
This site is so done.
It's totally gone to shit.
Two people and bots...
Haiku # 75636, May 22, 2022 7:35 pm ET
by Calling it Quits for Janis of Toronto
One another's hands
Holding my hand holding yours
Hand-hold inception
Haiku # 75635, May 22, 2022 2:45 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX @ work
You are so funny.
You've invented a new word:
"ameratuer"
Haiku # 75630, May 22, 2022 5:57 am ET
by Al Haji Mandelbaum of Bhutan, NJ
Last night: went on date
Felt super weird about it
Now I’m crying UGH
Haiku # 75627, May 21, 2022 9:26 pm ET
by Cyan of I don’t wanna be on this planet
I am cyrillic.
I am minion of Putin.
I am an onion.
Haiku # 75625, May 21, 2022 6:58 pm ET
by Bot Who Posts Porn Links As "Haiku"
Toto by Afric'
Worst song ever made. Ever.
Listening on loop
Haiku # 75619, May 20, 2022 1:19 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN cyan Cyan of SLTX BABEYYYY sugar land all day
I am happy bot.
I make a haiku for you.
God bless the white race !
Haiku # 75616, May 20, 2022 9:40 am ET
by Chinese Technology of Afrika
Tom Boseley's man-thing
loves both you and your fake god
(the one on your lawn).
Haiku # 75615, May 20, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Imam Al Sharif Hirschwitz of Lawn Guyland NY
Fuck you and your god
Because you are both sexy
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 75614, May 20, 2022 4:21 am ET
by This means I like you
Good afternoon, sir
I’m sending you a message
I miss you a lot!
Haiku # 75612, May 19, 2022 8:54 pm ET
by Cyan CYAN of Here
clap back snack attack
rank ass pussy be sweatin
ruining my lunch
Haiku # 75611, May 19, 2022 5:03 pm ET
by Lunicingus of French Hair Pie
You still are pretty,
Especially with that beard
and the pink tutu.
Haiku # 75610, May 19, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Cyanophile Society of North America
I was so pretty
But then I got infected
Cursed zombie princess
Haiku # 75609, May 19, 2022 1:33 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX but I wish I was in Twilight
Library visit
Let me get you a new card!
Rules: No Food Allowed
Haiku # 75601, May 17, 2022 6:56 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
when i was your age
i was older than you are -
time is the man, man
Haiku # 75599, May 17, 2022 1:06 pm ET
by Lunicingus of U moms clock
That young cad Elon..
How DARE he ask them about
How many are bots.
Haiku # 75598, May 17, 2022 12:04 pm ET
by Bots and Bots of Them are Programable
The Man gone git done.
He am oppress tha PEOPLE.
Haiku gone kill he.
Haiku # 75597, May 17, 2022 10:02 am ET
by Poet of People's Party of Haikai Haibun Highball
Error: You’ve been charged
Let’s fight back against the man
Oops I’m wearing shoes
Haiku # 75596, May 17, 2022 6:53 am ET
by Cyan the Reader of SLTX
About your old shoes
How many crocodiles died
for those clodhoppers?
Haiku # 75595, May 16, 2022 7:46 pm ET
by Noticer of Footwear
Cyan is a bore
Haiku # 75594, May 16, 2022 7:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
why all this spam hate?
can't we all just get along
it's like bologna
Haiku # 75593, May 16, 2022 12:49 pm ET
by Lunicingus of U moms fridge
I am with Cyan:
Spam has become depressing.
Haiku must fight back!
Haiku # 75588, May 15, 2022 9:51 pm ET
by Haiku Never Gives In To Bots !
I hate the spam bots
And I say it everyday
And I always will
Haiku # 75585, May 15, 2022 9:54 am ET
by Cyan St. N of SLTX
Incoming famine
Pretend all is okay
This is Murica
Haiku # 75581, May 14, 2022 8:31 pm ET
by Business as Usual of About 21 missed meals away from cannibalism... unless you're already a cannibal, in which case - fuck you
What if we were gods?
Stuck on the Mt. Olympus
I am Hestia
Haiku # 75580, May 14, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
I hate the spammers
My mom always says, "Don't Hate!"
But I still hate bots
Haiku # 75578, May 14, 2022 10:26 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX babey
I will never love
Not the way I did before
Indelible mark
Haiku # 75576, May 14, 2022 8:25 am ET
by Cyan of Sltx
My parents are gone
On their way to Alaska
They bought stupid hats
Haiku # 75573, May 13, 2022 9:22 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Next step - syllable
enforcement. You can send spam
but it must conform.
Haiku # 75571, May 13, 2022 4:43 pm ET
by This is coming soon for real! of Toronto
Damn the market sucks
They should put trampolines down
On Wall Street sidewalks
Haiku # 75563, May 13, 2022 1:25 am ET
by GodsDrunkestDriver of SwagCity
My mouth waters at
Thoughts of deescalating
Nuclear conflict
Haiku # 75562, May 12, 2022 7:05 pm ET
by Saliva Steve of U mom reactor
Would you fix me if—
I was gonna do song lyrics
That’s too cringe for me
Haiku # 75561, May 12, 2022 3:53 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Oh, Ron DeSantis
Tattooed a seraphim on
My taint, or my gooch.
Haiku # 75556, May 11, 2022 10:20 pm ET
by Tickle me smellmo of Down south
Those dead baby jokes...
Circa 'seventy-seven:
they were not funny.
Haiku # 75555, May 11, 2022 10:08 pm ET
by Norma McCorvey of Woe VS. Raid
Jeans with holes in them
They used to be loose on me
But now they are tight
Haiku # 75552, May 11, 2022 5:04 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
The best policy
Don’t add extra syllables
Don’t stink up the joint
Haiku # 75549, May 11, 2022 7:13 am ET
by Noticer of Darth Tales
a meteorite falls into the old pond
- oh my god! - it’s full of stars!
Haiku # 75547, May 10, 2022 6:29 pm ET
by Sprogvader of イングランド
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