Science is scary
When you don't understand it
Because you're stupid

Good Morning!

Follow the Science!
Follow it right up your hole.
That's where your soul was.

Pfuck Pfizer. All lies.
Gates' father: Planned Parenthood.
Go look it up, dolt.

Same old characters
Just like here at Bad Haiku...
That's what you're saying?

So-- back to Donald?
You return to him again...
For inspiration.

Donald Trump’s mother
missed an opportunity
to abort that spawn

Don't like abortion?
Well then you should ignore them
Just like school shootings

Pinyin Chin Chin:
Your haiku will never win
Three characters in.

I was just going to say that

cyan the color
it's tattooed upon your skin
primordial birth

Baby and fetus
Are not the same thing dummy
And I don't like cheese

That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.

That red wheelbarrow
Means absolutely nothing
And Williams wrote shit.

Do you like that cheese
With bits of baby in it?
Yes, I thought you would...

I hate abortion
But I love the fetus flesh
Not sure what to do

it's been far too long
and in spite of my desire
there is no haiku

They scream and destroy
because they want ABORTION.
So they are guilty.

So sorry comrade
The war is not going well
But soon, we head east

January sixth
Was worse than the holocaust.
And it was Trump's fault!

Klaus Schwab is a dolt.
His re-set is really dumb.
He is so stupid.

Now you’re laying there
You let the murderer in
Roomba Class Action

Cartier bracelet
You said you’d buy it for me
Cheap Darth Figpucker !!

This activity
involves millions of microbes
Now you’re making cheese

Politely declined:
Your offer of Camembert...
It was too runny.

After the fifth drink
he confessed his fantasies:
“I want to fuck cheese.”

The Big (pussy) cat
Must go home and lick his wounds
Florida Hockey!

Hey Bible Boyfriend
I'm here at the museum
Tired of this shit

White Antarctica!
Muhammadiyah lies there,
covered in deep ice.

You wanna get high?
Try Old Willow high test Ku(sh)
The sh’s silent

Add a "ku" on there,
SharonGlymn, you guinea pig.
Then you get "haiku"

hi

You’ll earn more money
delivering newspapers
than writing haiku

Lap of Luxury
At Home with Darth Figpucker
Unlimited Cheese

Oh woe, woe is me.
My life has become haiku;
Haiku tragedy.

I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire

I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company

Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.

Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell

Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out

Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat

It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found

His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second

I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.

Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed


At least:[12][8][3]

18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges

Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles

A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why

How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.

Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo

So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.