Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 18 Days and 76191 Haiku later...

So sorry comrade
The war is not going well
But soon, we head east
Haiku # 75816, June 22, 2022 5:46 pm ET
by Russian "volunteer" of Looking for food
January sixth
Was worse than the holocaust.
And it was Trump's fault!
Haiku # 75814, June 21, 2022 2:24 pm ET
by Jared Kushner of Holy Mt. Zion
Klaus Schwab is a dolt.
His re-set is really dumb.
He is so stupid.
Haiku # 75813, June 20, 2022 4:27 pm ET
by Globalist Leaders are Actually Not Smart of But You Are
Now you’re laying there
You let the murderer in
Roomba Class Action
Haiku # 75811, June 20, 2022 11:22 am ET
by Ophelia Queefe ( poet in residence) of The Law Offices of Cuntfart, Cuntfart, and Cunt
Cartier bracelet
You said you’d buy it for me
Cheap Darth Figpucker !!
Haiku # 75810, June 20, 2022 10:17 am ET
by Haiku Honey of Hive
This activity
involves millions of microbes
Now you’re making cheese
Haiku # 75809, June 20, 2022 10:05 am ET
by The Rat of Rathskeller
Politely declined:
Your offer of Camembert...
It was too runny.
Haiku # 75808, June 20, 2022 6:05 am ET
by Fine Cheeses of Fifth Drink
After the fifth drink
he confessed his fantasies:
“I want to fuck cheese.”
Haiku # 75807, June 20, 2022 3:32 am ET
by Drunk of Again
The Big (pussy) cat
Must go home and lick his wounds
Florida Hockey!
Haiku # 75805, June 18, 2022 11:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hey Bible Boyfriend
I'm here at the museum
Tired of this shit
Haiku # 75803, June 18, 2022 11:13 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
White Antarctica!
Muhammadiyah lies there,
covered in deep ice.
Haiku # 75802, June 16, 2022 10:46 am ET
by Guy with funny Beard and Holy Book of South Pole
You wanna get high?
Try Old Willow high test Ku(sh)
The sh’s silent
Haiku # 75800, June 15, 2022 3:34 am ET
by High Kookaburra of Gum Tree
Add a "ku" on there,
SharonGlymn, you guinea pig.
Then you get "haiku"
Haiku # 75799, June 14, 2022 10:35 pm ET
by You Sexy Software, You
hi
Haiku # 75798, June 14, 2022 6:14 pm ET
by SharonGlymn of Equatorial Guinea
You’ll earn more money
delivering newspapers
than writing haiku
Haiku # 75797, June 14, 2022 1:44 am ET
by Matsuo Basho’s Mother of (Channeled) Thanks, Shirley MacLaine
Lap of Luxury
At Home with Darth Figpucker
Unlimited Cheese
Haiku # 75796, June 13, 2022 9:19 pm ET
by Better Haiku and Gardens of Newsstand
Oh woe, woe is me.
My life has become haiku;
Haiku tragedy.
Haiku # 75795, June 13, 2022 4:31 pm ET
by Comedy of Tragic Haiku
I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire
Haiku # 75794, June 13, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Bugsy of Transylvania
I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
Haiku # 75793, June 13, 2022 2:01 pm ET
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
Haiku # 75791, June 13, 2022 9:04 am ET
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
Haiku # 75790, June 12, 2022 9:49 pm ET
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
Haiku # 75789, June 11, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
Haiku # 75788, June 10, 2022 9:04 pm ET
by MONARCH
It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found
Haiku # 75787, June 10, 2022 3:16 pm ET
by Looking back of In the past
His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second
Haiku # 75786, June 10, 2022 2:41 pm ET
by You (#2) of 2nd Place
I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.
Haiku # 75785, June 9, 2022 3:14 pm ET
by Eric Swallowell of Langley, VA
Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed


At least:[12][8][3]

18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges
Haiku # 75784, June 9, 2022 12:05 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles
Haiku # 75783, June 9, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Pain of Schwinntestines
A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why
Haiku # 75782, June 9, 2022 10:49 am ET
by 18 USC of 2381
How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.
Haiku # 75781, June 9, 2022 8:50 am ET
by Vladimir P. of Arkangelsk
Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo
Haiku # 75780, June 8, 2022 10:30 pm ET
by Celestial Counselor of The Ethers
So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
Haiku # 75779, June 8, 2022 6:19 pm ET
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
Haiku # 75778, June 8, 2022 12:17 pm ET
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
Haiku # 75777, June 7, 2022 8:10 pm ET
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
Haiku # 75775, June 7, 2022 5:36 am ET
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
Haiku # 75774, June 7, 2022 4:16 am ET
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
Haiku # 75773, June 7, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
Haiku # 75762, June 6, 2022 6:03 am ET
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
Haiku # 75761, June 6, 2022 1:39 am ET
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
Haiku # 75760, June 5, 2022 5:27 pm ET
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
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