Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire
Haiku # 75794, June 13, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Bugsy of Transylvania
I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
Haiku # 75793, June 13, 2022 2:01 pm ET
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
Haiku # 75791, June 13, 2022 9:04 am ET
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
Haiku # 75790, June 12, 2022 9:49 pm ET
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
Haiku # 75789, June 11, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
Haiku # 75788, June 10, 2022 9:04 pm ET
by MONARCH
It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found
Haiku # 75787, June 10, 2022 3:16 pm ET
by Looking back of In the past
His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second
Haiku # 75786, June 10, 2022 2:41 pm ET
by You (#2) of 2nd Place
I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.
Haiku # 75785, June 9, 2022 3:14 pm ET
by Eric Swallowell of Langley, VA
Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed


At least:[12][8][3]

18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges
Haiku # 75784, June 9, 2022 12:05 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles
Haiku # 75783, June 9, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Pain of Schwinntestines
A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why
Haiku # 75782, June 9, 2022 10:49 am ET
by 18 USC of 2381
How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.
Haiku # 75781, June 9, 2022 8:50 am ET
by Vladimir P. of Arkangelsk
Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo
Haiku # 75780, June 8, 2022 10:30 pm ET
by Celestial Counselor of The Ethers
So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
Haiku # 75779, June 8, 2022 6:19 pm ET
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
Haiku # 75778, June 8, 2022 12:17 pm ET
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
Haiku # 75777, June 7, 2022 8:10 pm ET
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
Haiku # 75775, June 7, 2022 5:36 am ET
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
Haiku # 75774, June 7, 2022 4:16 am ET
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
Haiku # 75773, June 7, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
Hello Crazy World!
I’m worried about Covid
I have a sore throat
Haiku # 75762, June 6, 2022 6:03 am ET
by Cyan of Here
You are five my fuck
shit ass little fucker man
who hair cash ringer?!
Haiku # 75761, June 6, 2022 1:39 am ET
by Linyah of USA
Why lordy-be, Clem--
They's a writin' about him!
Old Doctor Bateson!
Haiku # 75760, June 5, 2022 5:27 pm ET
by South Seas Maiden of Rural Appalachia
No, Dr. Bateson.
Wrong, wrong, wrong on every count.
And unremembered.
Haiku # 75759, June 5, 2022 5:24 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies
Women fight and shave.
Women stand to pee. Damn straight.
Key to our success.
Haiku # 75758, June 5, 2022 5:16 pm ET
by Sisterhood of Shaving Cream Commercial
Give birth to your mom!
Breast-feed your own grandfather!
Be MODERN. Be FREE!
Haiku # 75757, June 5, 2022 4:52 pm ET
by Chromosomes Don't Count of 2 + 2 = Cisgender Oppression
Men have vaginas.
Previously unknown fact
Now revealed as truth.
Haiku # 75756, June 5, 2022 4:46 pm ET
by Amazed at the Ignorance of Our Elders
Moral of story:
Men are women and have kids
Real men menstruate.
Haiku # 75755, June 5, 2022 4:40 pm ET
by Progressive Gender Politix in U.S. of A.
That baby (Ukraine):
Stuck by Russian bayonet
No longer crying...
Haiku # 75754, June 5, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by I Stand With HAIKU
Trump got very mad.
Sent lots of arms to Ukraine...
and the baby died.
Haiku # 75753, June 5, 2022 4:35 pm ET
by Regime Change of Diaper Change
Barrack and Biden
Made a baby together
And named it "Ukraine".
Haiku # 75752, June 5, 2022 4:26 pm ET
by Modern Men Have Babies, of Course...
Bateson married Mead.
Scrawled a lot of dull theory.
Got divorced and died.
Haiku # 75751, June 5, 2022 4:19 pm ET
by Apology of Misanthropology
Now, I'm twenty-five
I'm still stupid as heck though
Here's to twenty-six
Haiku # 75750, June 5, 2022 2:28 pm ET
by Cyan of This don't make no sense
Gregory Bateson
Was full of boring theories.
But he went to hell.
Haiku # 75749, June 4, 2022 12:39 pm ET
by Don't Be Like Greg of Be SMART
Cyan you GO, girl.
Omigosh get your NAILS done.
It's your WOMAN day.
Haiku # 75748, June 4, 2022 11:49 am ET
by Men Give Birth to Girls who say Yes of Size 14 extra-wide Boot
Today is the day!
Celebration of my birth
I still have work tho
Haiku # 75747, June 4, 2022 8:27 am ET
by Cyan of June 4th
A dozen roses
but disguised as flatulence
Your birthday present
Haiku # 75745, June 3, 2022 4:58 pm ET
by What? of In the butt?
Darth had a sex change
I didn’t see it coming
Now it’s in my eye
Haiku # 75744, June 3, 2022 4:56 pm ET
by Stye of the eye of The gutter pig
municipal waste
i want thrash metal, beer, weed
but like in haiku
Haiku # 75743, June 3, 2022 1:59 pm ET
by groopgrop of sewercide
when it's my birthday
all i want is cheese pizza
oh shit, not like that
Haiku # 75742, June 3, 2022 1:55 pm ET
by oopsie of now the feds are on to me
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