Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 271 Days and 75949 Haiku later...

I hate abortion
But I love the fetus flesh
Not sure what to do
Haiku # 75819, June 23, 2022 7:49 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it's been far too long
and in spite of my desire
there is no haiku
Haiku # 75818, June 23, 2022 9:52 am ET
by ash of perhaps another time

They scream and destroy
because they want ABORTION.
So they are guilty.
Haiku # 75817, June 22, 2022 6:34 pm ET
by As Charged
So sorry comrade
The war is not going well
But soon, we head east
Haiku # 75816, June 22, 2022 5:46 pm ET
by Russian "volunteer" of Looking for food
January sixth
Was worse than the holocaust.
And it was Trump's fault!
Haiku # 75814, June 21, 2022 2:24 pm ET
by Jared Kushner of Holy Mt. Zion
Klaus Schwab is a dolt.
His re-set is really dumb.
He is so stupid.
Haiku # 75813, June 20, 2022 4:27 pm ET
by Globalist Leaders are Actually Not Smart of But You Are
Now you’re laying there
You let the murderer in
Roomba Class Action
Haiku # 75811, June 20, 2022 11:22 am ET
by Ophelia Queefe ( poet in residence) of The Law Offices of Cuntfart, Cuntfart, and Cunt
Cartier bracelet
You said you’d buy it for me
Cheap Darth Figpucker !!
Haiku # 75810, June 20, 2022 10:17 am ET
by Haiku Honey of Hive
This activity
involves millions of microbes
Now you’re making cheese
Haiku # 75809, June 20, 2022 10:05 am ET
by The Rat of Rathskeller
Politely declined:
Your offer of Camembert...
It was too runny.
Haiku # 75808, June 20, 2022 6:05 am ET
by Fine Cheeses of Fifth Drink
After the fifth drink
he confessed his fantasies:
“I want to fuck cheese.”
Haiku # 75807, June 20, 2022 3:32 am ET
by Drunk of Again
The Big (pussy) cat
Must go home and lick his wounds
Florida Hockey!
Haiku # 75805, June 18, 2022 11:37 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hey Bible Boyfriend
I'm here at the museum
Tired of this shit
Haiku # 75803, June 18, 2022 11:13 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
White Antarctica!
Muhammadiyah lies there,
covered in deep ice.
Haiku # 75802, June 16, 2022 10:46 am ET
by Guy with funny Beard and Holy Book of South Pole
You wanna get high?
Try Old Willow high test Ku(sh)
The sh’s silent
Haiku # 75800, June 15, 2022 3:34 am ET
by High Kookaburra of Gum Tree
Add a "ku" on there,
SharonGlymn, you guinea pig.
Then you get "haiku"
Haiku # 75799, June 14, 2022 10:35 pm ET
by You Sexy Software, You
hi
Haiku # 75798, June 14, 2022 6:14 pm ET
by SharonGlymn of Equatorial Guinea
You’ll earn more money
delivering newspapers
than writing haiku
Haiku # 75797, June 14, 2022 1:44 am ET
by Matsuo Basho’s Mother of (Channeled) Thanks, Shirley MacLaine
Lap of Luxury
At Home with Darth Figpucker
Unlimited Cheese
Haiku # 75796, June 13, 2022 9:19 pm ET
by Better Haiku and Gardens of Newsstand
Oh woe, woe is me.
My life has become haiku;
Haiku tragedy.
Haiku # 75795, June 13, 2022 4:31 pm ET
by Comedy of Tragic Haiku
I’ll pay the postage
Send me your slapped mosquitoes
I’m not a vampire
Haiku # 75794, June 13, 2022 3:46 pm ET
by Bugsy of Transylvania
I liked your haiku
In fact, I liked it so much
I bought the company
Haiku # 75793, June 13, 2022 2:01 pm ET
by One Syllable (toke) of Over the line
Hope no employer
ever finds my bad haiku
unless they love it.
Haiku # 75791, June 13, 2022 9:04 am ET
by Human Haiku Resources of Haiku Hiring Inc.
Leave you to yourself
You smear poo haiku on walls
Then complain of smell
Haiku # 75790, June 12, 2022 9:49 pm ET
by MONARCH
Insomnia King
Consider a sledgehammer
Go, knock yourself out
Haiku # 75789, June 11, 2022 6:46 am ET
by Lee Harvey Oddball of Book Nook
Caffeine nostalgia anger
Melatonin restlessness
Lonely sleep repeat
Haiku # 75788, June 10, 2022 9:04 pm ET
by MONARCH
It's 1997
a web of idealists
no spam to be found
Haiku # 75787, June 10, 2022 3:16 pm ET
by Looking back of In the past
His bowel movements
also broke world’s records
Now you’re in second
Haiku # 75786, June 10, 2022 2:41 pm ET
by You (#2) of 2nd Place
I don't believe you.
How could he eat all of that?
I can't swallow it.
Haiku # 75785, June 9, 2022 3:14 pm ET
by Eric Swallowell of Langley, VA
Michel Lotito
List of unusual items consumed


At least:[12][8][3]

18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 TV sets
6 chandeliers
2 beds
1 pair of skis
1 computer
1 Cessna 150 light aircraft
1 waterbed
500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once
1 coffin (with handles)
1 Guinness award plaque
45 door hinges
Haiku # 75784, June 9, 2022 12:05 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Michael Lotito
craved funny things to eat-o!
18 bicycles
Haiku # 75783, June 9, 2022 11:56 am ET
by Pain of Schwinntestines
A caricature
Of the mightiest nation
Forgetful of why
Haiku # 75782, June 9, 2022 10:49 am ET
by 18 USC of 2381
How you like Brandon?
High prices, starting new wars . . .
I am not impressed.
Haiku # 75781, June 9, 2022 8:50 am ET
by Vladimir P. of Arkangelsk
Run away from home
Pack up all your syllables
You haiku hobo
Haiku # 75780, June 8, 2022 10:30 pm ET
by Celestial Counselor of The Ethers
So go on home then.
Go home with Darth Figpucker.
He'll take care of you.
Haiku # 75779, June 8, 2022 6:19 pm ET
by Cyanara of C U Later
What is the downside?
What do people do for fun?
I wanna go home
Haiku # 75778, June 8, 2022 12:17 pm ET
by Cyan of Home
Ugh. It's you again.
Porn-site Eugene, from Russia.
Well your haiku SUCKS.
Haiku # 75777, June 7, 2022 8:10 pm ET
by Y tampoco eres dominicano, tonto
Quran is its name.
Got real mad in South Philly.
Its name is "Quran"
Haiku # 75775, June 7, 2022 5:36 am ET
by And a Cheese Steak Over Here of Brotherly Love
Salvador Ramos
Had a terribly bad day
Hence, an armed tantrum.
Haiku # 75774, June 7, 2022 4:16 am ET
by Stupid Law Enforcement May As Well Have Given Him ANOTHER Hour
If you ever get
sweaty balls at the golf course
use the ball washer
Haiku # 75773, June 7, 2022 2:23 am ET
by Arnold “Harry” Palmer of 19th Green
Up in the window
Is that Anthony Perkins
or Darth Figpucker?
Haiku # 75772, June 7, 2022 2:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Headless conjoined twin
Our pronouns are What. The. F@ck.
Mother liked you best
Haiku # 75771, June 7, 2022 1:13 am ET
by Tired of 4 legged pants
You’re on the menu
Self cannibalizing snake
Ssssssssss…one last selfie
Haiku # 75770, June 6, 2022 7:42 pm ET
by S.C. Snake of Gone
crying sobbing floor pissing everywhere I bet, maybe even shit
Haiku # 75769, June 6, 2022 4:28 pm ET
by mcdoodly of the farm
actual haiku
the way the net used to be
ironic and free
Haiku # 75768, June 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by vhs
Here comes the white lady.
Let's tell her some more bullshit...
Then she'll give us stuff.
Haiku # 75767, June 6, 2022 1:09 pm ET
by Giggling Natives of Oceania
"I must sacrifice
ALL for anthropology"
Dusk. Rustling palm-fronds...
Haiku # 75766, June 6, 2022 1:04 pm ET
by Ongoing Saga of Margie and The Doctor
Oh please Gregory--
At least leave me a hammock
And some potted meat...
Haiku # 75765, June 6, 2022 12:57 pm ET
by Margaret Bateson of Stranded in Samoa
Big doctor return.
Him come back soon soon from sky:
high-high silver bird!
Haiku # 75764, June 6, 2022 12:47 pm ET
by Cargo-cult of Dr. G. Bateson 1947
Doctor Bateson say:
"Fiki fiki pa Covid.
Sabi no Covid"
Haiku # 75763, June 6, 2022 12:37 pm ET
by Systemic Analyses of Boredom
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