BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
341 Days
and
68413 Haikus
later...
Xmas wish list mandatory party punch reindeer venison St. Nick joined Zumba (C) workshop Krampus did your wife in a cheap hotel. How could you not know?
Haiku #66603, by DRR
December 22, 2019 10:13 pm ET

Imitate Jolie:
Proactive masectomy;
Stay abreast of things.
Haiku #66602, by Hollyweird Knows What's Up
December 22, 2019 1:07 pm ET

CO2 levels
Damn dinosaurs and their cars
How fucking DARE you
Haiku #66601, by Gretasaurus Thunbergius of Pangaea
December 21, 2019 11:29 am ET

what if we could be
like angelina jolly ?
'tis the season too
Haiku #66600, by ash
December 21, 2019 6:53 am ET

the planet is hot
it's a capitalist plot
but greta is not

agreeing with this
because something is amiss
stop taking the piss

fiddle while we burn
because there's nothing to learn
from the taciturn
Haiku #66599, by ash of burning bush
December 21, 2019 6:47 am ET

I wait for haiku.
But you don't write anything.
So go hang yourself.
Haiku #66598, by Poetes Maudits of Gender-based Languages
December 20, 2019 10:12 pm ET

my hipster lament
reading email in cafe
coffee is now cold
Haiku #66597, by studboy of Los Angeles, CA
December 20, 2019 2:32 pm ET

Christmas carols, joy,
The divine light of Jesus...
now shut up and BUY.
Haiku #66596, by Guy from holiday car commercial
December 19, 2019 7:30 am ET

Now, back to Greta:
Shame on you. Oh, how DARE you
make that nasty face.
Haiku #66595, by The Sky is Falling of Chicken Little
December 18, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Eh, don't call me that.
Even you are mocking me
And abusing, eh.
Haiku #66594, by Kunta Kinte of White Privilege
December 18, 2019 8:16 pm ET

After meating you
I would like to eating you.
Signed: nerdy tech guy.
Haiku #66593, by German "Frankie" of that weird Dark Web story
December 18, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Doing a rhino
Ain't as easy as it sounds.
They can drink a LOT.

Once drunk, they let go.
The proverbial wildcat.
I mean all night long.
Haiku #66592, by DRR of Take notes, Kunta Kinte.
December 18, 2019 2:10 am ET

Trichinosis types
Haikus for you: worms pull strings
Attaching limbs, brain
Haiku #66591, by 137 Degrees Fahrenheit
December 18, 2019 12:51 am ET

Jihadi surprise:
Get 72 virgins
All Gilbert Gottfried
Haiku #66590, by Anonymous Poet
December 18, 2019 12:34 am ET

Divorcing the pig.
Looking for a good rhino.
One that smashes things.
Haiku #66589, by DRR of Tranquilizer gun not needed.
December 17, 2019 11:41 pm ET

A truly vile place
Swarming with smug liberals
Virtue-signaling
Haiku #66588, by Hell, of course
December 17, 2019 11:05 pm ET

Bring it ON, you bots
Write something about Greta
(That scowling meatball)
Haiku #66587, by Pippi Longstockingholm Syndrome of "How DARE you".
December 17, 2019 9:57 am ET

Bots suck at poetry.
They write boring Haiku too.
They have no humor.
Haiku #66586, by Some Humans Resemble Bots
December 17, 2019 9:47 am ET

PROOF HUMANITY
IS DEHUMANIZING: AUTO-
-BOTS ASSEMBLE!
Haiku #66585, by OPTIMIST PRIME of PROOF OF HUMANITY REQUIREMENT IS RACIST
December 16, 2019 11:26 pm ET

Greta Thunberg died,
Went to heaven and told them:
You should be ASHAMED.
Haiku #66584, by Nasty Scowling Little Twit of the Progressive North
December 16, 2019 9:26 pm ET

i wonder if i got
more people here people might
actually use this
Haiku #66583, by vhs
December 16, 2019 3:30 pm ET

New movie project-
About Greta the screecher-
No its not a joke-

She wanders around
Hollering "how dare you" loud!
all over the world!

Earth ends in eight years!
That is what weird Greta says!
I mean bellows out

Sure to be a hit!
Teenage girl points her finger
At adults and bitches!
Haiku #66582, by Don't go to school of earth ends in eight years
December 16, 2019 2:23 pm ET

Grumpy lil Greta
Grouchy earth-actvist elf
Kicked out by Santa
Haiku #66581, by Santa of Satan
December 16, 2019 11:01 am ET

Christmastime: Sweden
Thunbergs didn't get pony
Greta: "HOW DARE YOU
Haiku #66580, by You've Stolen My Dreams of I Should Be Outside Riding a Pony
December 16, 2019 11:00 am ET

That scowl: "how DARE you."
The breathy troubled-girl-tone.
It still makes me cringe.
Haiku #66579, by Cover of Time
December 15, 2019 10:24 pm ET

UN berated
By Swedish teen: an oddly
Specific fetish
Haiku #66578, by Innocent Bystander
December 15, 2019 8:25 pm ET

A hillside at night
Man, lady turn into trees...
Ain't seen that before
Haiku #66577, by Etz
December 14, 2019 10:20 pm ET

HOW DARE YOU
I SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL
ACROSS THE OCEAN
NOT WRITING BAD HAIKU
Haiku #66576, by Greta Thunberg of Sverige
December 14, 2019 9:56 pm ET

Lil Greta earth-girl,
Scowling scolding Swedish brat:
warming's where it's AT.
Haiku #66575, by Sven Sverige of The Win on Warmin'
December 13, 2019 11:26 am ET

Lil grumpy Greta
Is the person of the year?
Not Hongkie Rebels?

Honkies fight slavers
Red Communist SOB's
Damn near to the death

As little Greta
Fly's in on a giant airplane
And blasts out carbon

That's pretty funny
The kid just hollers damn loud
and pulls a grimace.
Haiku #66574, by Eric Blowhard of CIA HQ
December 13, 2019 5:41 am ET

Well now Democrats
Your impeachment gone to Schifft
All your base now ours.

Is it possible?
For you to get more stupid?
have to wait and see.
Haiku #66573, by Eric Blowhard of CIA HQ.
December 13, 2019 5:16 am ET

Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the in the damn head
One too many times I head
One too many times I think
Punched think
Punched in the damn head
One thehd any times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One many times I think
Punched
in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn headOne too many times I think
Puned in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched ihe damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched head
One too many times I think in the damn
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I thinkPunched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Punched in the damn head
One too many times I think
Haiku #66572, by Professional Boxer of I forget but I like to eat crayons and see what color my poop will be
December 13, 2019 12:24 am ET

I don't bang hippos.
I mean, hippos are nasty.
Their vaginas stink.
Haiku #66571, by DRR of I guess it rains down in Aaaaafrica. Ebola Cola.
December 12, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Reverse donkey show.
Just for the ladies only.
Si Senorita.
Haiku #66570, by Darth Rhinoraper of Prepping for debauchery.
December 12, 2019 9:32 pm ET

If your cock's so huge,
why don't you fuck a donkey
in Tijuana.

On marijuana.
Haiku #66569, by Darth Rhinoraper. of Gazelles are tight!
December 12, 2019 9:28 pm ET

Peep be all like: "damn
I ain't HAVE no lexicon;
ain't GOT grammar."
Haiku #66568, by Dr. Tyrone McWhite PHD
December 12, 2019 8:55 am ET

I will rewrite it for you as Haiku.
You can pay me later:

News anchor's great tits.
It's a sunny day. I feel
a bit jiggy. Unh!
Haiku #66567, by Free Haiku Life-coaching of Hot Newsladies
December 12, 2019 7:57 am ET

The news anchor has great tits.
It's a sunny day and I feel
a bit jiggy
Haiku #66566, by Ben Dover of London
December 12, 2019 7:35 am ET

My boss just farted.
Does anyone read
haiku any
more?
Haiku #66565, by Mike Pence of Washington
December 12, 2019 7:33 am ET

When your wife's a whore
you will lose all your money.
You should fuck chickens!
Haiku #66564, by Baw-Kawwwwk! of Mmmmm.... Omelettes!
December 12, 2019 4:34 am ET

Once apon a time
Out in the Italian west
Frank gunned them down

Old Henry Fonda
Played mercy less killer
Long barreled .45

But Harmonica-
laid down some scruffy vengeance-
shot Frank full of lead

Best you see the film
"Once Apon A Time Out West"
Gun smoke and drama.

Never better made
And Ms. Cardinale has
Magnificent boobs!
Haiku #66563, by Pike Bishop of Starbuck Texas
December 12, 2019 3:10 am ET

it's a bad haiku
I'm still writing anyways
Let me end this now
Haiku #66562, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2019 11:20 pm ET

2,4-DNP
Mixed with carbonyl compounds
Makes some orange shit
Haiku #66561, by Anonymous Poet
December 11, 2019 11:19 pm ET

Boxing is stupid
With fucking awesome prizes
It ain't so simple
Haiku #66560, by Bleating Bigfoot Baby
December 11, 2019 10:54 pm ET

You play stupid games
And you get stupid prizes
It's very simple
Haiku #66559, by You Reap What You Sow
December 11, 2019 10:15 pm ET

Impeachment Circus:
DC donkey horny for
America's ass
Haiku #66558, by Innocent Bystander of far outside the big top circus tent wondering if at a certain point gang rape actually becomes a consensual gang bang by tacit a
December 11, 2019 8:03 pm ET

Christmas is so nice!
Cozy houses, snow, fireplace--
And then some haiku.
Haiku #66557, by Then police show up of Domestic Violence Charges
December 10, 2019 9:02 pm ET

Donald Trump Space Force
The First President of Mars
Make Mars Great Again
Haiku #66556, by Malfunction of Elon Musk's Brainchip
December 10, 2019 7:13 pm ET

Devil's body shop:
Amsterdam red-light district.
Shiny shapes displayed.
Haiku #66555, by Anonymous Poet
December 10, 2019 6:07 pm ET

Insurance agents.
And the body shop jokers.
Work for the devil.
Haiku #66554, by Lonesum Polecat of Dog Patch
December 10, 2019 2:49 am ET