BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
8 Days
and
66439 Haikus
later...
God the Father is Spirit, sperm is physical. Jesus is the offspring of King David through the patrilineal bloodline of his biological father Joseph: [2Tim 2;8] the greek word used for offspring here is spermatos. That's why he said "You just be born AGAIN" [John 3;6-7]. It is a spiritual birth.

The phrase "only begotten" as it occurs in greek is "monogene" which COULD mean "only begotten" if it did not conflict with scripture. David states in scripture that he had been begotten of God. [Ps 2;7]. Again, that was a spiritual birth. It is more likely that the word "mono" in that context was used to mean "one" or "single"

You're not His child, but you could be if you believe that Jesus Christ is the Messiah and repent from sin and the many abominations of your heart.
Haiku #66370, by Anonymous Prophet of Desert
November 6, 2019 7:27 am ET

Holy sperm count low?
Did God only have one kid?
Aren't we his children?
Haiku #66369, by Confused Possible Bastard of Nearby
November 6, 2019 6:36 am ET

Cattle carcass stench
Wafting in from slaughterhouse
Yup, I'll eat that shit
Haiku #66368, by Reverential duplicitous
November 5, 2019 11:49 pm ET

New Pope: Figpucker
Changes made to Vatican...
Just cosmetic ones
Haiku #66367, by Martin Luther of quietly pinning a note to the door
November 5, 2019 10:54 pm ET

Ah, the uselessness . . .
the sheer USELESS uselessness:
useless Haiku verse.
Haiku #66366, by Utilitarians of Poetic Pragmatism
November 5, 2019 2:32 pm ET

Swoops in from above
Billionaire from big city
BAT- nope, Donald Trump
Haiku #66365, by Anonymous Poet
November 5, 2019 6:33 am ET

ivory fowl gaze
dandelion fetta creak
bramble mountain pie
Haiku #66364, by Agnes Cowgill of United Kingdom
November 5, 2019 5:25 am ET

Blue cheese and blow jobs
Faint tinkling of piano
A familiar tune
Haiku #66363, by Drunk of Formerly of barstool
November 5, 2019 2:26 am ET

Pick a Christmas gift....
Knitted testicle cozy?
Consider it done
Haiku #66362, by Phil Lesh
November 4, 2019 1:18 pm ET

White supremacist
Means white guy likes the Supremes
more than Diana
Haiku #66361, by I Hear a Symphony of Motor City Detroit
November 4, 2019 9:25 am ET

welcome visitor:
"the aliens are coming
get inside quickly!"
Haiku #66360, by it keeps boring people out
November 3, 2019 10:43 pm ET

****If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!
Haiku #66359, by Captain Spaulding of Spicy limited edition blue cheese chicken wings! They just taste so damn good!
November 3, 2019 5:50 pm ET

Gun, bow-and-arrow...
Why not land mines or grenades?
Make sure it's done right!
Haiku #66358, by If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make of -- Captain Spaulding
November 3, 2019 5:49 pm ET

Just like McDonald's,
with every McFigpucker,
you get a free turd.
Haiku #66357, by Not so happy meal. of McD never had a blue cheese burger, the corporate scum... Well, except in France.
November 3, 2019 5:46 pm ET

You don't need a gun
Why not a bow and arrow?
Just like Ted Nugent
Haiku #66356, by Phil Lesh ....for the love of Internet tough guys
November 3, 2019 10:29 am ET

Only joking Darth.
Of course we love the brilliance.
(Not so much the turds)
Haiku #66355, by Smile and say "cheese" for Jesus
November 3, 2019 7:32 am ET

I can hardly wait!
Well, you know how to reach me.
Don't be a pussy.
Haiku #66354, by df of Vincent Van Gogh, Figpucker, and Smurfette -- all have blue periods.
November 2, 2019 10:00 pm ET

Should I bring a cheese platter and imported beer? We can make a party of my execution. Stream it on FB and Twitter and YouTube... or maybe put it on Pay-Per-View. Think of the money you can make!
Haiku #66353, by Darth Figpucker
November 2, 2019 9:58 pm ET

I'm going swimming.
There are turds in the ocean.
I swim right by them.
Haiku #66352, by Darth Figpucker of Blue Cheese Binge Cringe
November 2, 2019 9:54 pm ET

Post your home address.
I'll come over to your house.
Then you can shoot me.
Haiku #66351, by Darth Figpucker of darthfigpucker2@gmail.com for more info
November 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET

It would pleasure me
To shoot you in your sick head
Like eating blue cheese
Haiku #66350, by But Alas I Have No Firearm And Know Not Where Thou Livest
November 2, 2019 7:02 pm ET

Home field advantage
Crucial for pooping pleasure
Agree completely
Haiku #66349, by Phil Lesh
November 2, 2019 5:53 pm ET

I poo in private
with a soft pressure bidet
for my tender bits.
Haiku #66348, by public crappers, no no no! of ... unless there's free blue cheese.
November 2, 2019 4:48 am ET

Mirror on the floor.
I want to see my asshole.
Wow, that is nasty.
Haiku #66347, by Good thing I'm not gay. of Well, I like blue cheese, and that's a little gay.
November 2, 2019 3:50 am ET

I shat a white turd
from eating too much blue cheese.
It looked like dog poo.
Haiku #66346, by My God, you're right! of Staring at the toilet in amazement of my white poo... like a Halloween ghost!
November 2, 2019 3:40 am ET

Talk to my ass, Darth.
That's your basic element:
Blue Cheese and Bathroom.
Haiku #66345, by Figpucker's Follies of the Public Toilet
November 1, 2019 6:26 pm ET

Talking to yourself
A million miles a minute
Bluetooth bag of wind
Haiku #66344, by Zappy of Mount Olympus
November 1, 2019 4:01 pm ET

Trick or Treat my house.
Caramel covered blue cheese!
Made with pot butter.
Haiku #66343, by And laced w/ LSD. of Newark NJ
October 31, 2019 9:26 pm ET

HALLOWEEN, bitches!
Why aren't you trick or treating?
Candy for Satan!!!!
Haiku #66342, by Tomorrow ALL SAINTS
October 31, 2019 8:04 pm ET

It's the rennet, dolt.
That bacterial rennet:
It's curdling your brain.
Haiku #66341, by Chose Cheese of Chews
October 31, 2019 9:48 am ET

Towering phallus
The lighthouse keeper wanking
Moans like a foghorn
Haiku #66340, by Sea Bizkit of Salty
October 31, 2019 4:31 am ET

Thinks he's THE BIG CHEESE
a morsel of fromunda
Under the toadstool
Haiku #66339, by Authority on small dinx of At your service
October 30, 2019 7:35 pm ET

A burning question:
Does Donald Trump eat blue cheese?
Or just orange cheddar.
Haiku #66338, by Fuck Colby and American. of Those are for pussies.
October 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET

Clunking and scraping
Experiencing boners
Robots masturbatr
Haiku #66337, by Running of For the nearest exit
October 30, 2019 1:53 am ET

I do not love you.
When I wake and see your face
I want to vomit.

High pressure puke spray.
Projectile chunks of blue cheese.
Like the Exorcist.

Call it a geyser.
Capt. Morgan's and Roquefort.
And it's all your fault.
Haiku #66336, by my talking to my Japanese blow-up love doll.
October 30, 2019 12:32 am ET

Immersion blender
This time in the porto pot
Butt brownie batter
Haiku #66335, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
October 29, 2019 8:33 pm ET

A Tri Delta smelt a
fart from my ass
wholly disgusted
and perturbed
by the disturbed
misbehavior of my
super-intelligent
sphincter that stinked her
out of the room
with a sonic BOOM!!!!
...or 2... or 3... or FOUR!
She slammed the damned
door like the plastic whore
she is.

You snooze, you lose
your shoes in the ooze.
She should not have drank
all that booze.

SPLAT!
Haiku #66334, by Nasty stole ja.
October 29, 2019 7:20 pm ET

That's a big problem.
A cheesy blue period.
Unless you're Smurfette.
Haiku #66333, by Anonymous Poet
October 29, 2019 2:16 pm ET

Like Vincent van Gogh,
I've got my blue period.
I know, it's cheesy.
Haiku #66332, by Darth Figgy Pudding
October 29, 2019 1:31 pm ET

The specimen jar
Certainly looks like your poop
The smell is spot on
Haiku #66331, by Sa meg uh ma sore ass of Peeking
October 29, 2019 12:05 am ET

Wholly archetype,
Mandalas imply wholeness...
but are they HOLY?
Haiku #66330, by I Ate My Anima Hole, sorry--WHOLE
October 28, 2019 10:13 pm ET

Individuate!
Listen to your enema!
I mean . . . anima.
Haiku #66329, by Too Jung to be Freud
October 28, 2019 10:09 pm ET

What the fuck is this?
Seriously I'm confused
What is this place for?
Haiku #66328, by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
October 28, 2019 8:53 pm ET

Forgot to haiku.
So haiku is now a verb.
'Cause I made it so.

I wonder if blue cheese can be made from goat milk. I need to learn how.
Haiku #66327, by Blue cheese on balot eggs? of No... no no no. That's just wrong.
October 28, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Yeah, but you think replacing an electron w/ a muon is going to have any effect other than possible destruction of the fullerene by energetic radioactive decay? I mean, what's the purpose of all that? Even it has some sort of quantum computing "significance" it's not practical and I'm really needing some gelatinous pork broth to slather all over my cock before masturbating to midgets pooping all morning long. Know what I mean?
Haiku #66326, by Red Hot Blues corn chips and blue cheese really go well together. of Seriously though, give it a try. You're in the US, you have access to all that fatty stuff. Lucky cunts.
October 28, 2019 7:20 pm ET

Oh so that was you:
Perdeuterofullerane
Found through Google search
Haiku #66325, by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
October 28, 2019 4:10 pm ET

Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Fullerane
Haiku #66324, by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET

Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku #66323, by Dr Kildare of Long gone
October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET

Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku #66322, by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET

About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku #66321, by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET