Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

God the Father is Spirit, sperm is physical. Jesus is the offspring of King David through the patrilineal bloodline of his biological father Joseph: [2Tim 2;8] the greek word used for offspring here is spermatos. That's why he said "You just be born AGAIN" [John 3;6-7]. It is a spiritual birth.

The phrase "only begotten" as it occurs in greek is "monogene" which COULD mean "only begotten" if it did not conflict with scripture. David states in scripture that he had been begotten of God. [Ps 2;7]. Again, that was a spiritual birth. It is more likely that the word "mono" in that context was used to mean "one" or "single"

You're not His child, but you could be if you believe that Jesus Christ is the Messiah and repent from sin and the many abominations of your heart.
Haiku # 66370, November 6, 2019 7:27 am ET
by Anonymous Prophet of Desert
Holy sperm count low?
Did God only have one kid?
Aren't we his children?
Haiku # 66369, November 6, 2019 6:36 am ET
by Confused Possible Bastard of Nearby
Cattle carcass stench
Wafting in from slaughterhouse
Yup, I'll eat that shit
Haiku # 66368, November 5, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Reverential duplicitous
New Pope: Figpucker
Changes made to Vatican...
Just cosmetic ones
Haiku # 66367, November 5, 2019 10:54 pm ET
by Martin Luther of quietly pinning a note to the door
Ah, the uselessness . . .
the sheer USELESS uselessness:
useless Haiku verse.
Haiku # 66366, November 5, 2019 2:32 pm ET
by Utilitarians of Poetic Pragmatism
Swoops in from above
Billionaire from big city
BAT- nope, Donald Trump
Haiku # 66365, November 5, 2019 6:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
ivory fowl gaze
dandelion fetta creak
bramble mountain pie
Haiku # 66364, November 5, 2019 5:25 am ET
by Agnes Cowgill of United Kingdom
Blue cheese and blow jobs
Faint tinkling of piano
A familiar tune
Haiku # 66363, November 5, 2019 2:26 am ET
by Drunk of Formerly of barstool
Pick a Christmas gift....
Knitted testicle cozy?
Consider it done
Haiku # 66362, November 4, 2019 1:18 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
White supremacist
Means white guy likes the Supremes
more than Diana
Haiku # 66361, November 4, 2019 9:25 am ET
by I Hear a Symphony of Motor City Detroit
welcome visitor:
"the aliens are coming
get inside quickly!"
Haiku # 66360, November 3, 2019 10:43 pm ET
by it keeps boring people out
****If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make you my bitch!
Haiku # 66359, November 3, 2019 5:50 pm ET
by Captain Spaulding of Spicy limited edition blue cheese chicken wings! They just taste so damn good!
Gun, bow-and-arrow...
Why not land mines or grenades?
Make sure it's done right!
Haiku # 66358, November 3, 2019 5:49 pm ET
by If you're gonna start the killing, you best start it right here. Make sure I'm all the way dead, because I'll come back and make of -- Captain Spaulding
Just like McDonald's,
with every McFigpucker,
you get a free turd.
Haiku # 66357, November 3, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Not so happy meal. of McD never had a blue cheese burger, the corporate scum... Well, except in France.
You don't need a gun
Why not a bow and arrow?
Just like Ted Nugent
Haiku # 66356, November 3, 2019 10:29 am ET
by Phil Lesh ....for the love of Internet tough guys
Only joking Darth.
Of course we love the brilliance.
(Not so much the turds)
Haiku # 66355, November 3, 2019 7:32 am ET
by Smile and say "cheese" for Jesus
I can hardly wait!
Well, you know how to reach me.
Don't be a pussy.
Haiku # 66354, November 2, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by df of Vincent Van Gogh, Figpucker, and Smurfette -- all have blue periods.
Should I bring a cheese platter and imported beer? We can make a party of my execution. Stream it on FB and Twitter and YouTube... or maybe put it on Pay-Per-View. Think of the money you can make!
Haiku # 66353, November 2, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'm going swimming.
There are turds in the ocean.
I swim right by them.
Haiku # 66352, November 2, 2019 9:54 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Blue Cheese Binge Cringe
Post your home address.
I'll come over to your house.
Then you can shoot me.
Haiku # 66351, November 2, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of for more info
It would pleasure me
To shoot you in your sick head
Like eating blue cheese
Haiku # 66350, November 2, 2019 7:02 pm ET
by But Alas I Have No Firearm And Know Not Where Thou Livest
Home field advantage
Crucial for pooping pleasure
Agree completely
Haiku # 66349, November 2, 2019 5:53 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
I poo in private
with a soft pressure bidet
for my tender bits.
Haiku # 66348, November 2, 2019 4:48 am ET
by public crappers, no no no! of ... unless there's free blue cheese.
Mirror on the floor.
I want to see my asshole.
Wow, that is nasty.
Haiku # 66347, November 2, 2019 3:50 am ET
by Good thing I'm not gay. of Well, I like blue cheese, and that's a little gay.
I shat a white turd
from eating too much blue cheese.
It looked like dog poo.
Haiku # 66346, November 2, 2019 3:40 am ET
by My God, you're right! of Staring at the toilet in amazement of my white poo... like a Halloween ghost!
Talk to my ass, Darth.
That's your basic element:
Blue Cheese and Bathroom.
Haiku # 66345, November 1, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by Figpucker's Follies of the Public Toilet
Talking to yourself
A million miles a minute
Bluetooth bag of wind
Haiku # 66344, November 1, 2019 4:01 pm ET
by Zappy of Mount Olympus
Trick or Treat my house.
Caramel covered blue cheese!
Made with pot butter.
Haiku # 66343, October 31, 2019 9:26 pm ET
by And laced w/ LSD. of Newark NJ
HALLOWEEN, bitches!
Why aren't you trick or treating?
Candy for Satan!!!!
Haiku # 66342, October 31, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by Tomorrow ALL SAINTS
It's the rennet, dolt.
That bacterial rennet:
It's curdling your brain.
Haiku # 66341, October 31, 2019 9:48 am ET
by Chose Cheese of Chews
Towering phallus
The lighthouse keeper wanking
Moans like a foghorn
Haiku # 66340, October 31, 2019 4:31 am ET
by Sea Bizkit of Salty
Thinks he's THE BIG CHEESE
a morsel of fromunda
Under the toadstool
Haiku # 66339, October 30, 2019 7:35 pm ET
by Authority on small dinx of At your service
A burning question:
Does Donald Trump eat blue cheese?
Or just orange cheddar.
Haiku # 66338, October 30, 2019 7:01 pm ET
by Fuck Colby and American. of Those are for pussies.
Clunking and scraping
Experiencing boners
Robots masturbatr
Haiku # 66337, October 30, 2019 1:53 am ET
by Running of For the nearest exit
I do not love you.
When I wake and see your face
I want to vomit.

High pressure puke spray.
Projectile chunks of blue cheese.
Like the Exorcist.

Call it a geyser.
Capt. Morgan's and Roquefort.
And it's all your fault.
Haiku # 66336, October 30, 2019 12:32 am ET
by my talking to my Japanese blow-up love doll.
Immersion blender
This time in the porto pot
Butt brownie batter
Haiku # 66335, October 29, 2019 8:33 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
A Tri Delta smelt a
fart from my ass
wholly disgusted
and perturbed
by the disturbed
misbehavior of my
sphincter that stinked her
out of the room
with a sonic BOOM!!!!
...or 2... or 3... or FOUR!
She slammed the damned
door like the plastic whore
she is.

You snooze, you lose
your shoes in the ooze.
She should not have drank
all that booze.

Haiku # 66334, October 29, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Nasty stole ja.
That's a big problem.
A cheesy blue period.
Unless you're Smurfette.
Haiku # 66333, October 29, 2019 2:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Like Vincent van Gogh,
I've got my blue period.
I know, it's cheesy.
Haiku # 66332, October 29, 2019 1:31 pm ET
by Darth Figgy Pudding
The specimen jar
Certainly looks like your poop
The smell is spot on
Haiku # 66331, October 29, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Sa meg uh ma sore ass of Peeking
Wholly archetype,
Mandalas imply wholeness...
but are they HOLY?
Haiku # 66330, October 28, 2019 10:13 pm ET
by I Ate My Anima Hole, sorry--WHOLE
Listen to your enema!
I mean . . . anima.
Haiku # 66329, October 28, 2019 10:09 pm ET
by Too Jung to be Freud
What the fuck is this?
Seriously I'm confused
What is this place for?
Haiku # 66328, October 28, 2019 8:53 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Forgot to haiku.
So haiku is now a verb.
'Cause I made it so.

I wonder if blue cheese can be made from goat milk. I need to learn how.
Haiku # 66327, October 28, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Blue cheese on balot eggs? of No... no no no. That's just wrong.
Yeah, but you think replacing an electron w/ a muon is going to have any effect other than possible destruction of the fullerene by energetic radioactive decay? I mean, what's the purpose of all that? Even it has some sort of quantum computing "significance" it's not practical and I'm really needing some gelatinous pork broth to slather all over my cock before masturbating to midgets pooping all morning long. Know what I mean?
Haiku # 66326, October 28, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Red Hot Blues corn chips and blue cheese really go well together. of Seriously though, give it a try. You're in the US, you have access to all that fatty stuff. Lucky cunts.
Oh so that was you:
Found through Google search
Haiku # 66325, October 28, 2019 4:10 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Mostly because
A deuterated fullerane does not
Oxidize as quickly as a hydrogenated
Haiku # 66324, October 28, 2019 4:03 pm ET
by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
Don't bother calling
A medical office phone
Phone tree- straight to hell.

Useless telephones
Drive to the M.D. office
Don't waste time calling.

Hell-it will not work
Best to face to face present
If you need Doc's help
Haiku # 66323, October 28, 2019 3:07 pm ET
by Dr Kildare of Long gone
Already forgot
About that weird Greta girl
and about climate
Haiku # 66322, October 28, 2019 2:42 pm ET
by Neurotics of the West, UNITE
About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku # 66321, October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
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