Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 212 Days and 70746 Haikus later...

About skeletons
(The ones with skin still on them)
Ask Jimmy Savile
Haiku # 66321, October 28, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Sir James of Royal Hospital Morgue
Is it possible
to hump skeletons any
other way than dry?
Haiku # 66320, October 28, 2019 6:42 am ET
by Unless you puke on them... of Or use KY. Or blue cheese.
October romance
Dry humping a skeleton
Whilst eating candy
Haiku # 66319, October 28, 2019 12:52 am ET
by Boner of Nearby
Did you jack off on
the periodic table
in your science class?
Haiku # 66318, October 28, 2019 12:40 am ET
by Ultra geek of At the blue cheese fondue fountain drowning Triscuits.
The dead body moves!
Marxism animates the corpse.
Cadaver twitches . . .
Haiku # 66317, October 27, 2019 9:38 pm ET
by Communists are Dead of Zombies
Can you get headaches
from snorting too much blue cheese?
It was organic.
Haiku # 66316, October 27, 2019 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Hippie Figpucker
ISIS Devil Kilt!
Smart! don't tell Democrats $hit
As they would leak it

And help the Bastard.
Just to stop the USA
From killing a Devil

Obama's JV
Chased into a rat hole
And blasted to mush.

Head chopping Bastard
Seller of slaves and rapist
Hollers for Mommy.

To late Turban dude
Your sins done caught up with you
And you paid the price
Haiku # 66315, October 27, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Shaitan of Al Bagdadi's new home
Beautiful golden
Fresh water pouring down me
R Kelly rapist
Haiku # 66314, October 27, 2019 3:59 pm ET
by Problematique of Hell, probably
Never want to end
Our greatest memories here
Also, meth users
Haiku # 66313, October 27, 2019 3:53 pm ET
by Stupidity of Gangsta Town
Beautiful beaches
Sand between your spider toes
Cries by the sea wall
Haiku # 66312, October 27, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by LonelyGirl15 of G Town
I am writing one!!
I'm really doing it, dad!!!
Now am I worthY???
Haiku # 66311, October 27, 2019 3:45 pm ET
by Problematic
I do not like her
Please stop talking about it
She is annoying
Haiku # 66310, October 27, 2019 3:41 pm ET
by Agreeable of Ledbetter Residence
Humble Bumble Bee. . .
What does that even mean, bitch?
Take your lithium!
Haiku # 66309, October 27, 2019 3:40 pm ET
by You Know of Allen-ville
Dead Eleven years
Wife left us Daughter and me
I Needed some help
Haiku # 66308, October 27, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I gave you the truth
Please do not as more of me
Sadness Consumes Me
Haiku # 66307, October 27, 2019 3:34 pm ET
by Sethe of Topside
You break my poor heart
You evil, ungrateful bitch
I gave you my all
Haiku # 66306, October 27, 2019 3:31 pm ET
by Mr. Nutty Balls of Seaside
I have an answer
I don't believe in it
Standardized Loving
Haiku # 66305, October 27, 2019 3:28 pm ET
by Sethe of Hell
Is that you, Sethe?
I have a question to ask
Will you marry me?
Haiku # 66304, October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Mr. Nuts and Balls of Factory
Beware of trolls here
Stealing you name to insult
on here whilst wife dying
Haiku # 66303, October 27, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Such Lonely People
desperate for some contact
I hope you find some
Haiku # 66302, October 27, 2019 3:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wal Mart dink rollback
Uncircumcised anteater
Your favorite greeter
Haiku # 66301, October 27, 2019 1:01 pm ET
by Smile of Undisclosed
Susan Sarandon:
Pingpongpingpongpingpongping.
It's all about that.
Haiku # 66300, October 27, 2019 6:55 am ET
by Adam Schiff of Standard Hotel Hell
Trump gave the OK
To roast weird Al -Baghdadi
on the earthly plain.

Now he roasts in Hell
72 Virgin goats
Have their way with him

Trump is not JV
Bombed the hell out of them
Kill them break their chit.

Verily- its good
Live by the sword and die
Like rats caught in trap
Haiku # 66299, October 27, 2019 6:19 am ET
by Shaitan of AL Bhagdadi's new home
Brian Wilson's brie
Sliding down his golden throat
Sprinkled with beach sand
Haiku # 66298, October 27, 2019 1:18 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Dune Buggy
The cheese stands alone
Masturbates vigorously
And calls it haiku
Haiku # 66297, October 27, 2019 1:13 am ET
by Squeaky Fromage of Creepy Crawlin
Your salad got tossed,
blue cheese, blue boy, moldy one.
Step up. Write Haiku.
Haiku # 66296, October 26, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Salad Wars of Oriental Verse
Been snorting blue cheese.
It's way better than cocaine.
My heart is racing.
Haiku # 66295, October 26, 2019 5:29 pm ET
by blue bleu blew a load of moldy funk all over your tossed salad. of impregnated with croutons
Too much chattering
Walkie talkie etiquette
Says you must shut up
Haiku # 66294, October 26, 2019 4:33 pm ET
by Unhappy Ears of Shushville
Hey cheese-head it's "bleu".
Also that Italian one,
And Stilton. Roquefort.
Haiku # 66292, October 26, 2019 1:35 pm ET
by Think Outside of the Mold
Super slick slaughter
More whales killed for their blubber
Thus more blue cheese made
Haiku # 66291, October 26, 2019 10:39 am ET
by Capt. Anal of You Know
.
Haiku # 66290, October 26, 2019 1:09 am ET
by Fart
Electrons don't "orbit", but I know what you mean. Why deuterium and not some other atom or isotope? I don't think that would even matter. Or antimatter. Splatter on the platter, I'd rather have the latter to make me fatter. Swing batter batter, swing! Use the bat to stir the batter. Mad as a hatter. Mercury in the blue cheese.
Haiku # 66289, October 26, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Or something.
Sometimes I wonder
If Miss Vargas is able
to vagina smile.
Haiku # 66288, October 25, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by She probably can but een Espaneesh
Sometimes I wonder
What the spin flip transition
Of a muon would be if it replaced
The electron orbiting
A deuterium atom
Sigh
Haiku # 66287, October 25, 2019 9:46 pm ET
by Not a Haiku of Oh Well
Accidentally found
This obscure site through research
I am quite appalled
Haiku # 66286, October 25, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Philip T. Mayweather of Fort Meade, Maryland
Tell them bring blue cheese.
Trapped down here, I am famished.
And a nice wheat ale.

I guess we'll have a
beer and blue cheese pairing brunch
amidst STDs.

Christ I miss good cheese.
Civilization's yardstick.
Why 1st world is fat.
Haiku # 66285, October 25, 2019 9:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Esq., The Highly Inappropriate of But you can call me Lord Figpucker
Tell the rescue team
to wear biohazard suits.
God knows what's in there.

Full body condoms.
Appropriate attire.
Burn gear post rescue.

Prometheus clap.
Your dick becomes Alien.
Its teeth pierce your skull.
Haiku # 66284, October 25, 2019 8:56 pm ET
by Even worse than the diseases of Philippines whore houses. Trust me.
Laurie forgive me.
I'm trapped in your vagina.
Please send rescue team.
Haiku # 66283, October 25, 2019 8:49 pm ET
by OB GYN spelunker EMT Navy Seals.
Laurie forgive me.
I forgot about your face
For twenty minutes.
Haiku # 66282, October 25, 2019 7:17 pm ET
by Not Thinking About The Attributes of Laurie Vargas
Barbara Crowley:
Either her or her mother
Got next to the Mage.
Haiku # 66281, October 25, 2019 6:40 pm ET
by Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole of Satanism
Now Barbara Bush...
I'd smother her in blue cheese,
and eat ev'ry bite.
Haiku # 66280, October 25, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by Laura Bush, not so much.
Not Vaurie Large-ass.
Not even with free blue cheese.
No no no no no.
Haiku # 66279, October 24, 2019 9:41 pm ET
by
How on earth to stop
Thinking about Laurie V ?
(V for Vargas) Wow.
Haiku # 66278, October 24, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Not thinking of Laurie Vargas
But seriously . . .
Laurie Vargas gets me hot.
Hotter than George. Bush.
Haiku # 66277, October 24, 2019 9:28 pm ET
by Hot wetback of Wet Hotback
Succoth Nergal-Gul
Gurgaath Karg Ar Lothep Ur
Cthulu Ngaak
Haiku # 66276, October 24, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Incantation of Recreation
Grease pain oh grease pain
you wrack my ungreased body
Like Laurie Vargas
Haiku # 66275, October 24, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by El Singular of Los Angeles
Sophisticated.
Blue cheese, wine, and poetry.
I need a Porsche.
Haiku # 66274, October 24, 2019 9:05 pm ET
by Will you buy me one?
I hate this small town.
The selection of blue cheese
is lacking at best.
Haiku # 66273, October 24, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Backwards 3rd world mosquito infested shit hole of as our Dear President Trump would say.
What color grease pain?
Oh shit, I cannot decide.
Black w/ polka dots?
Haiku # 66272, October 24, 2019 7:27 pm ET
by What do you think? of Blue cheese blue cheese blue cheese!
I would rob a bank.
Wearing speedos and grease paint.
With a squirt pistol.

LSD squirt gun.
Demand all the lollipops.
Why would I need cash?

And I'd have a tray.
Filled with Triscuits and blue cheese.
All tellers must strip.
Haiku # 66271, October 24, 2019 7:26 pm ET
by That's the way life SHOULD be! of But no, you had to go and be sane and shit.
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