Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

Not Vaurie Large-ass.
Not even with free blue cheese.
No no no no no.
Haiku # 66279, October 24, 2019 9:41 pm ET
How on earth to stop
Thinking about Laurie V ?
(V for Vargas) Wow.
Haiku # 66278, October 24, 2019 9:33 pm ET
by Not thinking of Laurie Vargas
But seriously . . .
Laurie Vargas gets me hot.
Hotter than George. Bush.
Haiku # 66277, October 24, 2019 9:28 pm ET
by Hot wetback of Wet Hotback
Succoth Nergal-Gul
Gurgaath Karg Ar Lothep Ur
Cthulu Ngaak
Haiku # 66276, October 24, 2019 9:24 pm ET
by Incantation of Recreation
Grease pain oh grease pain
you wrack my ungreased body
Like Laurie Vargas
Haiku # 66275, October 24, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by El Singular of Los Angeles
Blue cheese, wine, and poetry.
I need a Porsche.
Haiku # 66274, October 24, 2019 9:05 pm ET
by Will you buy me one?
I hate this small town.
The selection of blue cheese
is lacking at best.
Haiku # 66273, October 24, 2019 9:04 pm ET
by Backwards 3rd world mosquito infested shit hole of as our Dear President Trump would say.
What color grease pain?
Oh shit, I cannot decide.
Black w/ polka dots?
Haiku # 66272, October 24, 2019 7:27 pm ET
by What do you think? of Blue cheese blue cheese blue cheese!
I would rob a bank.
Wearing speedos and grease paint.
With a squirt pistol.

LSD squirt gun.
Demand all the lollipops.
Why would I need cash?

And I'd have a tray.
Filled with Triscuits and blue cheese.
All tellers must strip.
Haiku # 66271, October 24, 2019 7:26 pm ET
by That's the way life SHOULD be! of But no, you had to go and be sane and shit.
Cowboy coffeepot:
Indian subcontinent.
Legal stimulants!
Haiku # 66270, October 24, 2019 6:53 pm ET
by Generated by a Bot, of course
Chile con palta
Palta con aguacate
Con abogado
Haiku # 66269, October 24, 2019 4:34 pm ET
by Avocado of Santiago
Avocado toast
Mushy green ejaculate
Of hipster poets
Haiku # 66268, October 24, 2019 11:15 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Surveillance System
Like lemongrass bordering
An infant's cradle
Haiku # 66267, October 24, 2019 11:13 am ET
by Who Do of Redrob
What this world needs is
vending machines with blue cheese
and expensive wine.
Haiku # 66266, October 24, 2019 5:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Free vasectomy
Insert your penis in slot
You'll be shooting blanks
Haiku # 66265, October 24, 2019 2:25 am ET
by Entrepreneur of Undisclosed
Found a pubic hair
I'm a cold lonely cavern
Where they age blue cheese
Haiku # 66264, October 23, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Trapped in your wife's cunt of Blue Cheese lured me in
I enjoy blue cheese.
I also enjoy eggnog.
They clash horribly.

You could say very
much like your wife and mistress.
Cat fight in the fridge.
Haiku # 66263, October 23, 2019 8:37 pm ET
by df
The nectar of life?
That would have to be haiku!
... While eating blue cheese.
Haiku # 66262, October 23, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Esq.
Who said it's boring?
Haiku is like life itself,
But more exciting.
Haiku # 66261, October 23, 2019 7:41 pm ET
by Nodding Off of Drooling on Keyboard
Favorite zombie?
That would have to be Jesus
If he does come back
Haiku # 66260, October 23, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Watch it all burn down.
Don't forget the marshmallows.
Melted blue cheese wraps.

Habanero sauce
on top of blue cheese nachos.
Blue corn chips, of course.

Red white and blue nacho chips.
It's nacho country.
Haiku # 66259, October 23, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Blue cheese nachos French Mexican prostitute of streaks of mold dribbling off the plate.
Hey there Hollywood!
Its good you took our money!
Now kiss Chicom Azz.!
Haiku # 66258, October 23, 2019 3:17 pm ET
by Chairman Mao of Burning Paradice
The problem by now
is much less Communism
than brain-dead zombies.
Haiku # 66257, October 23, 2019 7:26 am ET
by Dead Souls Burn in Hell of God in Christ
Wine and cheese pairings
Blue cheese dingleberry clump
With Menstrual Merlot
Haiku # 66256, October 23, 2019 5:09 am ET
by Vince Vaughn Go of With the flow
Politics are strange.
Do communists eat blue cheese?
Or just processed slime?
Haiku # 66255, October 23, 2019 4:56 am ET
by Red white and blue cheese forever!
Remember those jokes?
Lil Johnny Fuckerfaster
Well, they're still funny
Haiku # 66254, October 23, 2019 4:05 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Labron James spokesman!
For the Communist killers
Cloaking their actions-

Misinformed idiots
Grovel at the Chicoms feet
Spout their party line!

They will learn later
Chinese Communists- racist
To the ninth power

To late we own you.
Just like brain dead Hollywood
Your @$$ is ours.
Haiku # 66253, October 23, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Kong Ming of Third Kingdom
Sandy Duncan's corpse
Defiled in a field of wheat
Incoming hard on!
Haiku # 66252, October 23, 2019 12:52 am ET
by Snacker of Follow the moans
That cocktail party
I saw you unzip your pants
And fuck the warm brie
Haiku # 66251, October 23, 2019 12:48 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
My God, your cunt's tight.
Oh, sorry, that's your nostril.
Well, I'm not stopping.

Now I need a snack.
Someone pass the blue cheese please.
Triscuits or Wheat Thins?
Haiku # 66250, October 23, 2019 12:38 am ET
by Why not both!
Ommmm Gorgonzola,
Danish, Roquefort, Cabrales,
and Stilton cheese ommmmm.....
Haiku # 66249, October 22, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Tantric curds! of Can't trick turds!
Chop off your penis.
Tie it onto a long string.
Swing it at people.
Haiku # 66248, October 22, 2019 8:33 pm ET
by The First Church of Blue Cheese. of Without a penis, you'll have more time to devote to blue cheese!
Grilled blue cheese sandwich.
Blue cheese with an apple slice.
Chocolate blue cheese.
Haiku # 66247, October 22, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by BCD of All hail the mold veins!
God I love blue cheese.
I'd suck off President Trump
for a quarter pound.

Blue cheese on burgers.
Blue cheese with my spicy wing.
Blue cheese on ice cream.

I can orgasm
just thinking about blue cheese.
Taste my tangy spunk!
Haiku # 66246, October 22, 2019 7:55 pm ET
by Baby Carrot Dick of Newark, NJ
I know that I have
a baby carrot penis
and Ranch dressing spooge.
Haiku # 66245, October 22, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Dip do wop a dip blam boom. of Blue Cheese Forever!
Bite them, Bad Haiku!
Yes, bite and tear with your claws!
Good Haiku. Sit, boy.
Haiku # 66244, October 22, 2019 7:07 pm ET
by Training Attack Haiku
Why does God hate me?
Got a baby carrot dick
The sheep laugh at it
Haiku # 66243, October 22, 2019 6:02 pm ET
by Phil Lush
God's love for you shows
in how large your penis is.
So he hates poets!
Haiku # 66242, October 22, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy fan club.
God bless 'Murica!
Dem damn Chinee derkerjer!
(South Park - took our jobs.)
Haiku # 66241, October 22, 2019 5:45 pm ET
by Redneck in training.
Nationalism and more
Haiku # 66240, October 22, 2019 1:43 pm ET
by God ordained the Nations of the World
Tinkling midnight stream
Radioactive urine
Fukashima glow
Haiku # 66239, October 22, 2019 11:54 am ET
by Drunk of Undisclosed
Late at night I rise
and stagger to the bathroom:
pissing bright moonlight.
Haiku # 66238, October 22, 2019 8:01 am ET
by Elation of Urination
I am the Devil.
And I'm here to do His work.
--Otis Firefly
Haiku # 66237, October 21, 2019 6:56 pm ET
by Sit on a potato pan otis. of Nowhere near a potato pan.
Must have been nitrous
That opened your brain portal
To Lucifer's light.
Haiku # 66236, October 21, 2019 6:49 pm ET
by DF critical intervention
I did much nitrous
When the Dead rolled through Denver
Back in the 90s

Five bucks a balloon
Wonder if I could have died
Oh well, too late now.

From what I recall
Those were super awesome time's
Tough to remember
Haiku # 66235, October 21, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Love the hippie chicks
But not so much the crab lice
Gotta be careful
Haiku # 66234, October 21, 2019 2:00 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Nitrous Oxide bliss:
If I could just remember
What I thought I knew.
Haiku # 66233, October 21, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Whip-Hits of Whip It Good
Oh, when I saw the dead I was traveling w/a friend selling N2O balloons. Good times. More laughs than The Joker.
Haiku # 66232, October 20, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker again.
Saw the Dead quite a few times from 93 to 95. Wish I'd have caught the last show, but I was doing other hippie stuff. Honestly, the music is dull and uninspiring to me. But the drugs... oh, the drugs. And stinky hairy hippie chicks. The hippie food is pretty good too, but that's just me. Beans and rice and veggies and whole grains and yogurt and crap like that. Oh, I just saw something funny... A T-shirt w/ Kim Kardashian's face on the Human-Centipad. Look for it on Search "Kardashian Centipede". I really need to get one. My testicles are singing again. Hendrix tunes this time. Hard to concentrate on my work when they do that. What's the difference b/w a dead math teacher laying in the road and a dead art teacher laying in the road? There are skid marks in front of the art teacher.
Haiku # 66231, October 20, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by df
Just a box of rain
You are the eyes of the world
And more trippy thoughts.
Haiku # 66230, October 20, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by That was YOU at Anaheim '74 ?
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