Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

I know that I have
a baby carrot penis
and Ranch dressing spooge.
Haiku # 66245, October 22, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Dip do wop a dip blam boom. of Blue Cheese Forever!
Bite them, Bad Haiku!
Yes, bite and tear with your claws!
Good Haiku. Sit, boy.
Haiku # 66244, October 22, 2019 7:07 pm ET
by Training Attack Haiku
Why does God hate me?
Got a baby carrot dick
The sheep laugh at it
Haiku # 66243, October 22, 2019 6:02 pm ET
by Phil Lush
God's love for you shows
in how large your penis is.
So he hates poets!
Haiku # 66242, October 22, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by Ron Jeremy fan club.
God bless 'Murica!
Dem damn Chinee derkerjer!
(South Park - took our jobs.)
Haiku # 66241, October 22, 2019 5:45 pm ET
by Redneck in training.
Nationalism and more
Haiku # 66240, October 22, 2019 1:43 pm ET
by God ordained the Nations of the World
Tinkling midnight stream
Radioactive urine
Fukashima glow
Haiku # 66239, October 22, 2019 11:54 am ET
by Drunk of Undisclosed
Late at night I rise
and stagger to the bathroom:
pissing bright moonlight.
Haiku # 66238, October 22, 2019 8:01 am ET
by Elation of Urination
I am the Devil.
And I'm here to do His work.
--Otis Firefly
Haiku # 66237, October 21, 2019 6:56 pm ET
by Sit on a potato pan otis. of Nowhere near a potato pan.
Must have been nitrous
That opened your brain portal
To Lucifer's light.
Haiku # 66236, October 21, 2019 6:49 pm ET
by DF critical intervention
I did much nitrous
When the Dead rolled through Denver
Back in the 90s

Five bucks a balloon
Wonder if I could have died
Oh well, too late now.

From what I recall
Those were super awesome time's
Tough to remember
Haiku # 66235, October 21, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Love the hippie chicks
But not so much the crab lice
Gotta be careful
Haiku # 66234, October 21, 2019 2:00 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Nitrous Oxide bliss:
If I could just remember
What I thought I knew.
Haiku # 66233, October 21, 2019 8:16 am ET
by Whip-Hits of Whip It Good
Oh, when I saw the dead I was traveling w/a friend selling N2O balloons. Good times. More laughs than The Joker.
Haiku # 66232, October 20, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker again.
Saw the Dead quite a few times from 93 to 95. Wish I'd have caught the last show, but I was doing other hippie stuff. Honestly, the music is dull and uninspiring to me. But the drugs... oh, the drugs. And stinky hairy hippie chicks. The hippie food is pretty good too, but that's just me. Beans and rice and veggies and whole grains and yogurt and crap like that. Oh, I just saw something funny... A T-shirt w/ Kim Kardashian's face on the Human-Centipad. Look for it on Search "Kardashian Centipede". I really need to get one. My testicles are singing again. Hendrix tunes this time. Hard to concentrate on my work when they do that. What's the difference b/w a dead math teacher laying in the road and a dead art teacher laying in the road? There are skid marks in front of the art teacher.
Haiku # 66231, October 20, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by df
Just a box of rain
You are the eyes of the world
And more trippy thoughts.
Haiku # 66230, October 20, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by That was YOU at Anaheim '74 ?
I don't tickle pigs.
I brutally rape the swine.
That's what pigs deserve.

So just remember,
if you eat a ham sandwich,
that might be my kid.

Vulgar poetry
will flood your brain, thoughts, and soul.
There's no cure for it.
Haiku # 66229, October 20, 2019 12:15 am ET
by df of Hillshire and Hormel supply truck
Found a box of rain.
Had a bunch of mosquitoes.
I dumped it all out.
Haiku # 66228, October 19, 2019 11:43 pm ET
by Fucking hippies.
Jerry Garcia
Played guitar, did lots of drugs
met an early death

Such a sad story
There is a lesson there kids....
Do not play guitar
Haiku # 66227, October 19, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Hey Darth Pigtickler!
We've got you surrounded - come
Out with your hands up!
Haiku # 66226, October 19, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Haiku Police
Jesus vagina.
It bled 5 days for your sins.
Fish yeast bread wine belch.
Haiku # 66225, October 19, 2019 5:00 pm ET
by Drunken pooit.
Dead-zone poetry.
Sad words from sad lost people.
There's nothing better.
Haiku # 66224, October 19, 2019 3:32 pm ET
by Of Of Of Of of Of
Queue the song "Jumper"
Third Eye Blind - unironic
Still kind of funny
Haiku # 66223, October 18, 2019 5:57 pm ET
by Ghost
Splendid caretaker
But you took great care of me
Until you didn't
Haiku # 66222, October 18, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Lily Boo listen
Everyone else has judged me
Sentence loneliness
Haiku # 66221, October 18, 2019 4:37 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Soccer seasons done
Early demise no bother
My heart can't take it
Haiku # 66220, October 18, 2019 4:35 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Captured down in verse
Committed to this affair?
Lovers never win
Haiku # 66219, October 18, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Red stained memories
Do you even think of me?
Yeah ~ every third thing
Haiku # 66218, October 18, 2019 4:29 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Roastbeef meat curtains
Like engorged hog labia
Pass the horseradish
Haiku # 66217, October 18, 2019 3:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Dung Pile
How many boogers
To make a real booger farm?
Start with booger seeds?
Haiku # 66216, October 18, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Future Booger Farmer of Out standing in his field
Lebron James Genius!
Says people need education
Before they comment

James got through high school
But can't find Hong Kong on a map.
Can't make this chit up!
Haiku # 66215, October 18, 2019 2:58 am ET
by General Dai Li of Western paradise
Texas loves Prez. TRUMP!
He rides for the brand USA!
Democrat dolts don't!
Haiku # 66214, October 18, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Frank Hamer of Old Austin Tejas
Trump's trip to Dallas
Ended so much better than
John F. Kennedy's
Haiku # 66213, October 18, 2019 12:13 am ET
by It Had To Be Said
Trump said following
Jerusalem = Capital
State of Israel
Haiku # 66212, October 17, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by He MUST Be Hitler of Sarcasm
But seriously,
God is hearing all those prayers
For Cheeto-Hitler!
Haiku # 66210, October 17, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Intercession of the Faithful
Little Miss Nuthin
Sat on her muffin, eating
Curds the Kurdish way.
Haiku # 66209, October 17, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Zat Minz Wiz Fingerz
Y'all don't diss ma girl.
She down wif Harvard Law School.
She a Indian too!
Haiku # 66208, October 17, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Rabbit Warren of the Damned
Lizabeth Warren
Break dancing to rap music
She's black woman now
Haiku # 66207, October 17, 2019 8:56 pm ET
by Her Name is Pronounced "Elizabef"
Fake News has emerged
From its corporate cocoon
As Very Fake News
Haiku # 66206, October 17, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by ABC News of Kentucky Gun Show/Turkey
Much bad news today
Seems to have you all worked up
"Triggered" you say.
Haiku # 66205, October 17, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Impeaching the Kurdish
Self identify
As attack helicopter
Sipping soy latte
Haiku # 66204, October 17, 2019 6:58 pm ET
by Autistic Millenial of getting my flu shot in a che guevara shirt
Che in the Bardo:
Demon-Buddhas singe his beard...
he screams for mama!
Haiku # 66203, October 17, 2019 10:11 am ET
by Asthma of Argentina
As for the Kommies,
they've morphed into something else:
genderqueer zombies
Haiku # 66202, October 17, 2019 10:09 am ET
by Definition of Gender
When your ass parted
I caught a glimpse of your god:
source of your Haiku.
Haiku # 66201, October 17, 2019 10:05 am ET
by Excremeditation of the Extraordinarily Vile
Comrades! I reformed
Since I am dead and in hell
Hell same as Cuba

Don't be a dumb @$$
Stay away from Commies!
Don't vote for Bolshies!
Haiku # 66200, October 17, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
Communist Clown show
New Democrat red weirdos!
Like 7th graders-

Everything is free!
Gimme dats will rule the world!
Vote for Communist Clown rule!!
Haiku # 66199, October 17, 2019 2:56 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
God does not love us.
If he did, he'd shit elsewhere.
Rather than on us.
Haiku # 66198, October 16, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hit by a white shard.
Porcelain shrapnel in eye.
Blinded by God's fart.
Haiku # 66197, October 16, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by Now I smell like holy shit.
When God was shitting
he made an enormous fart;
destroyed the toilet.
Haiku # 66196, October 16, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by The porcelain throne was thrown.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
Haiku # 66195, October 16, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.
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