I know that I have
a baby carrot penis
and Ranch dressing spooge.
by Dip do wop a dip blam boom. of Blue Cheese Forever!
Bite them, Bad Haiku!
Yes, bite and tear with your claws!
Good Haiku. Sit, boy.
by Training Attack Haiku
Why does God hate me?
Got a baby carrot dick
The sheep laugh at it
by Phil Lush
God's love for you shows
in how large your penis is.
So he hates poets!
by Ron Jeremy fan club.
God bless 'Murica!
Dem damn Chinee derkerjer!
(South Park - took our jobs.)
by Redneck in training.
Nationalism.
Nationalism and more
nationalism.
by God ordained the Nations of the World
Tinkling midnight stream
Radioactive urine
Fukashima glow
by Drunk of Undisclosed
Late at night I rise
and stagger to the bathroom:
pissing bright moonlight.
by Elation of Urination
I am the Devil.
And I'm here to do His work.
--Otis Firefly
by Sit on a potato pan otis. of Nowhere near a potato pan.
Must have been nitrous
That opened your brain portal
To Lucifer's light.
by DF critical intervention
I did much nitrous
When the Dead rolled through Denver
Back in the 90s
Five bucks a balloon
Wonder if I could have died
Oh well, too late now.
From what I recall
Those were super awesome time's
Tough to remember
by Phil Lesh
Love the hippie chicks
But not so much the crab lice
Gotta be careful
by Phil Lesh
Nitrous Oxide bliss:
If I could just remember
What I thought I knew.
by Whip-Hits of Whip It Good
Oh, when I saw the dead I was traveling w/a friend selling N2O balloons. Good times. More laughs than The Joker.
by Darth Figpucker again.
Saw the Dead quite a few times from 93 to 95. Wish I'd have caught the last show, but I was doing other hippie stuff. Honestly, the music is dull and uninspiring to me. But the drugs... oh, the drugs. And stinky hairy hippie chicks. The hippie food is pretty good too, but that's just me. Beans and rice and veggies and whole grains and yogurt and crap like that. Oh, I just saw something funny... A T-shirt w/ Kim Kardashian's face on the Human-Centipad. Look for it on Wish.com. Search "Kardashian Centipede". I really need to get one. My testicles are singing again. Hendrix tunes this time. Hard to concentrate on my work when they do that. What's the difference b/w a dead math teacher laying in the road and a dead art teacher laying in the road? There are skid marks in front of the art teacher.
by df
Just a box of rain
You are the eyes of the world
And more trippy thoughts.
by That was YOU at Anaheim '74 ?
I don't tickle pigs.
I brutally rape the swine.
That's what pigs deserve.
So just remember,
if you eat a ham sandwich,
that might be my kid.
Vulgar poetry
will flood your brain, thoughts, and soul.
There's no cure for it.
by df of Hillshire and Hormel supply truck
Found a box of rain.
Had a bunch of mosquitoes.
I dumped it all out.
by Fucking hippies.
Jerry Garcia
Played guitar, did lots of drugs
met an early death
Such a sad story
There is a lesson there kids....
Do not play guitar
by Phil Lesh
Hey Darth Pigtickler!
We've got you surrounded - come
Out with your hands up!
by Haiku Police
Jesus vagina.
It bled 5 days for your sins.
Fish yeast bread wine belch.
by Drunken pooit.
Dead-zone poetry.
Sad words from sad lost people.
There's nothing better.
by Of Of Of Of of Of
Queue the song "Jumper"
Third Eye Blind - unironic
Still kind of funny
by Ghost
Splendid caretaker
But you took great care of me
Until you didn't
by Ledge of Kentucky
Lily Boo listen
Everyone else has judged me
Sentence loneliness
by Ledge of Kentucky
Soccer seasons done
Early demise no bother
My heart can't take it
by Ledge of Kentucky
Captured down in verse
Committed to this affair?
Lovers never win
by Ledge of Kentucky
Red stained memories
Do you even think of me?
Yeah ~ every third thing
by Ledge of Kentucky
Roastbeef meat curtains
Like engorged hog labia
Pass the horseradish
by Darth Figpucker of Dung Pile
How many boogers
To make a real booger farm?
Start with booger seeds?
by Future Booger Farmer of Out standing in his field
Lebron James Genius!
Says people need education
Before they comment
James got through high school
But can't find Hong Kong on a map.
Can't make this chit up!
by General Dai Li of Western paradise
Texas loves Prez. TRUMP!
He rides for the brand USA!
Democrat dolts don't!
by Frank Hamer of Old Austin Tejas
Trump's trip to Dallas
Ended so much better than
John F. Kennedy's
by It Had To Be Said
Trump said following
Jerusalem = Capital
State of Israel
by He MUST Be Hitler of Sarcasm
But seriously,
God is hearing all those prayers
For Cheeto-Hitler!
by Intercession of the Faithful
Little Miss Nuthin
Sat on her muffin, eating
Curds the Kurdish way.
by Zat Minz Wiz Fingerz
Y'all don't diss ma girl.
She down wif Harvard Law School.
She a Indian too!
by Rabbit Warren of the Damned
Lizabeth Warren
Break dancing to rap music
She's black woman now
by Her Name is Pronounced "Elizabef"
Fake News has emerged
From its corporate cocoon
As Very Fake News
by ABC News of Kentucky Gun Show/Turkey
Much bad news today
Seems to have you all worked up
"Triggered"....as you say.
by Impeaching the Kurdish
Self identify
As attack helicopter
Sipping soy latte
by Autistic Millenial of getting my flu shot in a che guevara shirt
Che in the Bardo:
Demon-Buddhas singe his beard...
he screams for mama!
by Asthma of Argentina
As for the Kommies,
they've morphed into something else:
genderqueer zombies
by Definition of Gender
When your ass parted
I caught a glimpse of your god:
source of your Haiku.
by Excremeditation of the Extraordinarily Vile
Comrades! I reformed
Since I am dead and in hell
Hell same as Cuba
Don't be a dumb @$$
Stay away from Commies!
Don't vote for Bolshies!
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
Communist Clown show
New Democrat red weirdos!
Like 7th graders-
Everything is free!
Gimme dats will rule the world!
Vote for Communist Clown rule!!
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
God does not love us.
If he did, he'd shit elsewhere.
Rather than on us.
by Anonymous Poet
Hit by a white shard.
Porcelain shrapnel in eye.
Blinded by God's fart.
by Now I smell like holy shit.
When God was shitting
he made an enormous fart;
destroyed the toilet.
by The porcelain throne was thrown.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.