Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 155 Days and 77034 Haiku later...

Self identify
As attack helicopter
Sipping soy latte
Haiku # 66204, October 17, 2019 6:58 pm ET
by Autistic Millenial of getting my flu shot in a che guevara shirt
Che in the Bardo:
Demon-Buddhas singe his beard...
he screams for mama!
Haiku # 66203, October 17, 2019 10:11 am ET
by Asthma of Argentina
As for the Kommies,
they've morphed into something else:
genderqueer zombies
Haiku # 66202, October 17, 2019 10:09 am ET
by Definition of Gender
When your ass parted
I caught a glimpse of your god:
source of your Haiku.
Haiku # 66201, October 17, 2019 10:05 am ET
by Excremeditation of the Extraordinarily Vile
Comrades! I reformed
Since I am dead and in hell
Hell same as Cuba

Don't be a dumb @$$
Stay away from Commies!
Don't vote for Bolshies!
Haiku # 66200, October 17, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
Communist Clown show
New Democrat red weirdos!
Like 7th graders-

Everything is free!
Gimme dats will rule the world!
Vote for Communist Clown rule!!
Haiku # 66199, October 17, 2019 2:56 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
God does not love us.
If he did, he'd shit elsewhere.
Rather than on us.
Haiku # 66198, October 16, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hit by a white shard.
Porcelain shrapnel in eye.
Blinded by God's fart.
Haiku # 66197, October 16, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by Now I smell like holy shit.
When God was shitting
he made an enormous fart;
destroyed the toilet.
Haiku # 66196, October 16, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by The porcelain throne was thrown.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
Haiku # 66195, October 16, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
Haiku # 66194, October 16, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.
When the clouds parted
I got a sneak peek at God
He was on the can
Haiku # 66193, October 16, 2019 12:16 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Looking up
It does not matter.
It's just a world of zombies.
Sooner or later.
Haiku # 66192, October 16, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lebum James
Dunce Communist Prog. lackey
Hates the USA

Concentration camps
And harvest human organs
James don't give a damn.

Quick get the money!
And sell out the brave Honkies
Giant jive @ss clown-!
Haiku # 66191, October 16, 2019 5:12 am ET
by Tony Poe of Lucy's Tiger Den
Otis Firefly.
Perfect Halloween costume.
Can I pull it off?
Haiku # 66190, October 15, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
If you've never thought
of cooking children in stew,
you're no friend of mine.

Haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa!
Haiku # 66189, October 15, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Which witch with an itch? of Hansel and Gretel were just a snack.
Shut up shut up hoe
One more time and ill pop you
Shut up shut up bitch
Haiku # 66188, October 15, 2019 6:06 pm ET
by Line of lines
Trump is a tweeker
John Bolton is a leaker
So funny to watch
Haiku # 66187, October 15, 2019 11:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You need HIV.
It's a great way to lose weight.
Watch those pounds melt off.
Haiku # 66186, October 15, 2019 9:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pro masturbation
That's the only thing I'll do
'Cause pro fucking sucks
Haiku # 66185, October 14, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Procrastination.
That's the only thing this is.
When work fucking sucks.
Haiku # 66184, October 14, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by blah blah blah fucking blah
Twelve looks like eighteen.
Twenty looks like a fat cow.
Growth hormone beef franks.
Haiku # 66183, October 14, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Mooooooooooooo. of How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.
I have two large cunts
on the bottoms of my feet.
Pussyfooters rule!
Haiku # 66182, October 14, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Pardon the snail trails.
That's my daughter now.
Sunday dinners are awesome.
Potluck southern food.
Haiku # 66181, October 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Proud father: rehearsals. of She never misses her line.
If you continue
As a piece of shit that will
Be your daughter soon

So many reasons
To be a good role model
You can start today
Haiku # 66180, October 13, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Ghost of I See You
The best pornos are
eight black men, one fat white girl.
So many reasons.
Haiku # 66179, October 13, 2019 5:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Terrific is best
maker of poems ever
Sooooooooo fascinating
Haiku # 66178, October 13, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Sarcasm
Only drone noticed
Is the drone of your Haiku
Putting me to sleep.
Haiku # 66177, October 12, 2019 3:37 pm ET
by Terrific Soporific of Poetry
That government drone
Hovering near your window
Have you noticed it?
Haiku # 66176, October 12, 2019 11:01 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
No one would expect
Someone with such a huge ass
Could outrun a train
Haiku # 66175, October 12, 2019 2:49 am ET
by Blood of On the tracks
Four pieces French toast,
eight bacon strips, lemonade.
The fat woman belched.

Was it an earthquake?
Baritone eructation.
Startling gut horn.
Haiku # 66174, October 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You will fight the train....
And you will kick much train ass
Show 'em who's in charge
Haiku # 66173, October 11, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Ann Nonymous
Flattened by the train
Something to look forward to
See, there's always hope
Haiku # 66172, October 11, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by Someone you know of Wrong side of the tracks
Umlaut breaks Haiku
My work now forever gone!
Tilde "A" remains.
Haiku # 66171, October 11, 2019 11:58 am ET
by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
Man-Tank of Hong Kong
Part machine, part Ã
Haiku # 66170, October 11, 2019 11:54 am ET
by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
Serrated Knife
Like Lemongrass Bordering
An Infant's Cradle
Haiku # 66169, October 11, 2019 11:46 am ET
by Who Do of Smegmoo
The Hong Kong Tank Men
Dare to fight to against evil
As the world watches....
Haiku # 66168, October 11, 2019 8:02 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Hollywood venal
Communist boot licker's
Bow down to money!
Haiku # 66167, October 11, 2019 7:55 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
NBA Chicoms!
Be sure to keep your mouths shut
And master happy!
Haiku # 66166, October 11, 2019 7:53 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Drink coffee all day
Then can' sleep a wink at night
Damn caffeine junkie!
Haiku # 66165, October 11, 2019 7:46 am ET
by Walt Tripp of Hogs Back Woods
The Great Pig Escape
Oinking from all directions
God damn foolishness
Haiku # 66164, October 10, 2019 10:27 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
A lifetime of this
Waiting for the end of life
Thank you for your time
Haiku # 66163, October 10, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Nobody of In particular
Contemplating it
Since the day after Woodstock
Lentil flatulence
Haiku # 66162, October 10, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Al Gassedup of Nowhere near a restroom
Braided nostril hairs.
Silly old millenials.
Too lazy to pluck.

Wannabe hippies.
Nostril dreadlock mucus drips.
Nasal honey pot.

And the chicks dig it.
One on either side of him.
Nibbling the strands.
Haiku # 66161, October 10, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Burning Man of Dying of thirst in the dessert. Oh, wait, here's a beer. Only $20? Okay!
Burgers make you fat.
Chick-Fil-Et is anti-gay.
Instead, eat tacos.
Haiku # 66160, October 10, 2019 8:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Furry pussy cat
Purring like a house on fire
When she has been fed.
Haiku # 66159, October 10, 2019 11:38 am ET
by My Kitty Likes Purina
Flappy pussy skin
Swaying like a pendulum
When she's excited
Haiku # 66158, October 10, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Sittin on the cock of The bay
I dare say, Vicar:
Quite a lovely toast-rack there
She's spot-on, brilliant.
Haiku # 66157, October 9, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Sir James Saville of Anglo-Saxon Necrophilia
I'm a drop lyrikz:
drop them right ON you white ass
(since I too am white).
Haiku # 66156, October 9, 2019 1:20 pm ET
by Da Haiku Pimp of Street Kredz
One of the spouses
Likes to pee in the coffee
Of the other spouse
Haiku # 66155, October 9, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Divorced of Coffee Break
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