Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 334 Days and 77314 Haiku later...

You need HIV.
It's a great way to lose weight.
Watch those pounds melt off.
Haiku # 66186, October 15, 2019 9:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pro masturbation
That's the only thing I'll do
'Cause pro fucking sucks
Haiku # 66185, October 14, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Procrastination.
That's the only thing this is.
When work fucking sucks.
Haiku # 66184, October 14, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by blah blah blah fucking blah
Twelve looks like eighteen.
Twenty looks like a fat cow.
Growth hormone beef franks.
Haiku # 66183, October 14, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Mooooooooooooo. of How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.
I have two large cunts
on the bottoms of my feet.
Pussyfooters rule!
Haiku # 66182, October 14, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Pardon the snail trails.
That's my daughter now.
Sunday dinners are awesome.
Potluck southern food.
Haiku # 66181, October 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Proud father: rehearsals. of She never misses her line.
If you continue
As a piece of shit that will
Be your daughter soon

So many reasons
To be a good role model
You can start today
Haiku # 66180, October 13, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Ghost of I See You
The best pornos are
eight black men, one fat white girl.
So many reasons.
Haiku # 66179, October 13, 2019 5:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Terrific is best
maker of poems ever
Sooooooooo fascinating
Haiku # 66178, October 13, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by Sarcasm
Only drone noticed
Is the drone of your Haiku
Putting me to sleep.
Haiku # 66177, October 12, 2019 3:37 pm ET
by Terrific Soporific of Poetry
That government drone
Hovering near your window
Have you noticed it?
Haiku # 66176, October 12, 2019 11:01 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
No one would expect
Someone with such a huge ass
Could outrun a train
Haiku # 66175, October 12, 2019 2:49 am ET
by Blood of On the tracks
Four pieces French toast,
eight bacon strips, lemonade.
The fat woman belched.

Was it an earthquake?
Baritone eructation.
Startling gut horn.
Haiku # 66174, October 11, 2019 9:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
You will fight the train....
And you will kick much train ass
Show 'em who's in charge
Haiku # 66173, October 11, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Ann Nonymous
Flattened by the train
Something to look forward to
See, there's always hope
Haiku # 66172, October 11, 2019 4:58 pm ET
by Someone you know of Wrong side of the tracks
Umlaut breaks Haiku
My work now forever gone!
Tilde "A" remains.
Haiku # 66171, October 11, 2019 11:58 am ET
by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
Man-Tank of Hong Kong
Part machine, part Ã
Haiku # 66170, October 11, 2019 11:54 am ET
by Wang Lowfan of Kalistan
Serrated Knife
Like Lemongrass Bordering
An Infant's Cradle
Haiku # 66169, October 11, 2019 11:46 am ET
by Who Do of Smegmoo
The Hong Kong Tank Men
Dare to fight to against evil
As the world watches....
Haiku # 66168, October 11, 2019 8:02 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Hollywood venal
Communist boot licker's
Bow down to money!
Haiku # 66167, October 11, 2019 7:55 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
NBA Chicoms!
Be sure to keep your mouths shut
And master happy!
Haiku # 66166, October 11, 2019 7:53 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Drink coffee all day
Then can' sleep a wink at night
Damn caffeine junkie!
Haiku # 66165, October 11, 2019 7:46 am ET
by Walt Tripp of Hogs Back Woods
The Great Pig Escape
Oinking from all directions
God damn foolishness
Haiku # 66164, October 10, 2019 10:27 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
A lifetime of this
Waiting for the end of life
Thank you for your time
Haiku # 66163, October 10, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by Nobody of In particular
Contemplating it
Since the day after Woodstock
Lentil flatulence
Haiku # 66162, October 10, 2019 9:59 pm ET
by Al Gassedup of Nowhere near a restroom
Braided nostril hairs.
Silly old millenials.
Too lazy to pluck.

Wannabe hippies.
Nostril dreadlock mucus drips.
Nasal honey pot.

And the chicks dig it.
One on either side of him.
Nibbling the strands.
Haiku # 66161, October 10, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Burning Man of Dying of thirst in the dessert. Oh, wait, here's a beer. Only $20? Okay!
Burgers make you fat.
Chick-Fil-Et is anti-gay.
Instead, eat tacos.
Haiku # 66160, October 10, 2019 8:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Furry pussy cat
Purring like a house on fire
When she has been fed.
Haiku # 66159, October 10, 2019 11:38 am ET
by My Kitty Likes Purina
Flappy pussy skin
Swaying like a pendulum
When she's excited
Haiku # 66158, October 10, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Sittin on the cock of The bay
I dare say, Vicar:
Quite a lovely toast-rack there
She's spot-on, brilliant.
Haiku # 66157, October 9, 2019 1:30 pm ET
by Sir James Saville of Anglo-Saxon Necrophilia
I'm a drop lyrikz:
drop them right ON you white ass
(since I too am white).
Haiku # 66156, October 9, 2019 1:20 pm ET
by Da Haiku Pimp of Street Kredz
One of the spouses
Likes to pee in the coffee
Of the other spouse
Haiku # 66155, October 9, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Divorced of Coffee Break
Sand in the ass crack
Egg salad aftertaste
Brian Wilson is stoned
Haiku # 66154, October 8, 2019 10:04 pm ET
by Beach Bum of Beach
Ha ha. I caused you
To break the rules of Haiku.
Admit: you're triggered
Haiku # 66153, October 8, 2019 8:38 pm ET
by Heap Big Medicine of Great Spirit
I forgot thump.
There are others, but not so common.
Frump for example. A dull or unattractive woman.
Haiku # 66152, October 8, 2019 7:32 pm ET
by Trump is a frump.
bump chump clump dump grump hump jump lump mumps plump rump stump trump

I have the best words.
No one else has words like these.
High quality words.
Haiku # 66151, October 8, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by repubtard worshiping orange baboon of Legalize pussy grabbing now!
Yes! We took out Trump!
Wait...Pence is now the president?
Hmmmm . . . wait a second.
Haiku # 66150, October 8, 2019 10:54 am ET
by Impulse-Driven Libtard of Low Information
White dude acting black
You are the new Al Jolson
Of the internet
Haiku # 66149, October 8, 2019 7:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
President Mike Pence
Get used to saying that phrase
It is what it is
Haiku # 66148, October 8, 2019 7:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Y'all niggaz rayciss.
Be hatin on my boy TRUMP.
Straight-up rayciss. Damn.
Haiku # 66147, October 7, 2019 3:09 pm ET
by Marcus Garvey's Secretary
Jesus done turnt Kool-Aid to Mad Dog.
I seened it wit my own eyes.
Turnt a tampon into a blunt.
Whole house fulla niggas got FUCKED up!
Dats da troof!
Haiku # 66146, October 7, 2019 8:58 am ET
by Friendly neighborhood homie.
I ain't no cracka!
You cracka-ass prison bitch.
Bust you wide open!
Haiku # 66145, October 6, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by Jesus, your Lord and Savior. of Preachin' it on the mountain!
Y'all aint no Jesus.
I'M Jesus, you bitch-ass ho.
Damn. Cracka-ass poet.
Haiku # 66144, October 6, 2019 9:32 pm ET
by Booker T. Washington of Profanity
Carp and tar.
Scum fish and cigarettes.
Mad dog 20/20.
Haiku # 66143, October 6, 2019 5:42 pm ET
by Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior of ... but I ain't gonna die fo' yo' sins this time, bitches. Save yo' own damn sef! Damn crackas anyhow.
Fun Fact:

The Ancient Greek noun tekton is a common term for an artisan/craftsman, in particular a carpenter, wood-worker, mason, builder, teacher, or engineer.
Haiku # 66142, October 6, 2019 5:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fuck tiny keyboard :

carpenteR
Haiku # 66141, October 6, 2019 4:32 pm ET
by Eat my Theology
Antichrist filth: die.
Just lay down and die right now.
You will not be missed.
Haiku # 66140, October 6, 2019 4:30 pm ET
by Loving Disciple of Fluffy White Lamb of God the Groovy Carpentet
Kim Kardashian!
If she runs for president,
I will vote for her.
Haiku # 66138, October 6, 2019 5:16 am ET
by Admit it, she would be awesome! of White House reality TV! Pay-per-view. No more deficit.
Your politics gay
Left wing and right wing gay
Homo Politricks
Haiku # 66137, October 5, 2019 11:53 am ET
by Gay Ass of Anarchville
Dragon's breath reeking
War torn home desolation
Dad is drinking again
Haiku # 66136, October 5, 2019 11:46 am ET
by Youngster of Black Eye
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