Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 352 Days and 77336 Haiku later...

I don't tickle pigs.
I brutally rape the swine.
That's what pigs deserve.

So just remember,
if you eat a ham sandwich,
that might be my kid.

Vulgar poetry
will flood your brain, thoughts, and soul.
There's no cure for it.
Haiku # 66229, October 20, 2019 12:15 am ET
by df of Hillshire and Hormel supply truck
Found a box of rain.
Had a bunch of mosquitoes.
I dumped it all out.
Haiku # 66228, October 19, 2019 11:43 pm ET
by Fucking hippies.
Jerry Garcia
Played guitar, did lots of drugs
met an early death

Such a sad story
There is a lesson there kids....
Do not play guitar
Haiku # 66227, October 19, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Phil Lesh
Hey Darth Pigtickler!
We've got you surrounded - come
Out with your hands up!
Haiku # 66226, October 19, 2019 8:24 pm ET
by Haiku Police
Jesus vagina.
It bled 5 days for your sins.
Fish yeast bread wine belch.
Haiku # 66225, October 19, 2019 5:00 pm ET
by Drunken pooit.
Dead-zone poetry.
Sad words from sad lost people.
There's nothing better.
Haiku # 66224, October 19, 2019 3:32 pm ET
by Of Of Of Of of Of
Queue the song "Jumper"
Third Eye Blind - unironic
Still kind of funny
Haiku # 66223, October 18, 2019 5:57 pm ET
by Ghost
Splendid caretaker
But you took great care of me
Until you didn't
Haiku # 66222, October 18, 2019 4:49 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Lily Boo listen
Everyone else has judged me
Sentence loneliness
Haiku # 66221, October 18, 2019 4:37 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Soccer seasons done
Early demise no bother
My heart can't take it
Haiku # 66220, October 18, 2019 4:35 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Captured down in verse
Committed to this affair?
Lovers never win
Haiku # 66219, October 18, 2019 4:31 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Red stained memories
Do you even think of me?
Yeah ~ every third thing
Haiku # 66218, October 18, 2019 4:29 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Roastbeef meat curtains
Like engorged hog labia
Pass the horseradish
Haiku # 66217, October 18, 2019 3:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Dung Pile
How many boogers
To make a real booger farm?
Start with booger seeds?
Haiku # 66216, October 18, 2019 3:45 am ET
by Future Booger Farmer of Out standing in his field
Lebron James Genius!
Says people need education
Before they comment

James got through high school
But can't find Hong Kong on a map.
Can't make this chit up!
Haiku # 66215, October 18, 2019 2:58 am ET
by General Dai Li of Western paradise
Texas loves Prez. TRUMP!
He rides for the brand USA!
Democrat dolts don't!
Haiku # 66214, October 18, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Frank Hamer of Old Austin Tejas
Trump's trip to Dallas
Ended so much better than
John F. Kennedy's
Haiku # 66213, October 18, 2019 12:13 am ET
by It Had To Be Said
Trump said following
Jerusalem = Capital
State of Israel
Haiku # 66212, October 17, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by He MUST Be Hitler of Sarcasm
But seriously,
God is hearing all those prayers
For Cheeto-Hitler!
Haiku # 66210, October 17, 2019 9:27 pm ET
by Intercession of the Faithful
Little Miss Nuthin
Sat on her muffin, eating
Curds the Kurdish way.
Haiku # 66209, October 17, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by Zat Minz Wiz Fingerz
Y'all don't diss ma girl.
She down wif Harvard Law School.
She a Indian too!
Haiku # 66208, October 17, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Rabbit Warren of the Damned
Lizabeth Warren
Break dancing to rap music
She's black woman now
Haiku # 66207, October 17, 2019 8:56 pm ET
by Her Name is Pronounced "Elizabef"
Fake News has emerged
From its corporate cocoon
As Very Fake News
Haiku # 66206, October 17, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by ABC News of Kentucky Gun Show/Turkey
Much bad news today
Seems to have you all worked up
"Triggered"....as you say.
Haiku # 66205, October 17, 2019 7:51 pm ET
by Impeaching the Kurdish
Self identify
As attack helicopter
Sipping soy latte
Haiku # 66204, October 17, 2019 6:58 pm ET
by Autistic Millenial of getting my flu shot in a che guevara shirt
Che in the Bardo:
Demon-Buddhas singe his beard...
he screams for mama!
Haiku # 66203, October 17, 2019 10:11 am ET
by Asthma of Argentina
As for the Kommies,
they've morphed into something else:
genderqueer zombies
Haiku # 66202, October 17, 2019 10:09 am ET
by Definition of Gender
When your ass parted
I caught a glimpse of your god:
source of your Haiku.
Haiku # 66201, October 17, 2019 10:05 am ET
by Excremeditation of the Extraordinarily Vile
Comrades! I reformed
Since I am dead and in hell
Hell same as Cuba

Don't be a dumb @$$
Stay away from Commies!
Don't vote for Bolshies!
Haiku # 66200, October 17, 2019 3:03 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
Communist Clown show
New Democrat red weirdos!
Like 7th graders-

Everything is free!
Gimme dats will rule the world!
Vote for Communist Clown rule!!
Haiku # 66199, October 17, 2019 2:56 am ET
by Dead Che of Communist Bardo
God does not love us.
If he did, he'd shit elsewhere.
Rather than on us.
Haiku # 66198, October 16, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hit by a white shard.
Porcelain shrapnel in eye.
Blinded by God's fart.
Haiku # 66197, October 16, 2019 6:30 pm ET
by Now I smell like holy shit.
When God was shitting
he made an enormous fart;
destroyed the toilet.
Haiku # 66196, October 16, 2019 6:26 pm ET
by The porcelain throne was thrown.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
Haiku # 66195, October 16, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.
My penis is small.
I mean really minuscule.
Say, microscopic.
Haiku # 66194, October 16, 2019 6:25 pm ET
by And that's why I write poetry. of Underneath God's porcelain throne.
When the clouds parted
I got a sneak peek at God
He was on the can
Haiku # 66193, October 16, 2019 12:16 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Looking up
It does not matter.
It's just a world of zombies.
Sooner or later.
Haiku # 66192, October 16, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lebum James
Dunce Communist Prog. lackey
Hates the USA

Concentration camps
And harvest human organs
James don't give a damn.

Quick get the money!
And sell out the brave Honkies
Giant jive @ss clown-!
Haiku # 66191, October 16, 2019 5:12 am ET
by Tony Poe of Lucy's Tiger Den
Otis Firefly.
Perfect Halloween costume.
Can I pull it off?
Haiku # 66190, October 15, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
If you've never thought
of cooking children in stew,
you're no friend of mine.

Haaaa haaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaaaaa!
Haiku # 66189, October 15, 2019 8:29 pm ET
by Which witch with an itch? of Hansel and Gretel were just a snack.
Shut up shut up hoe
One more time and ill pop you
Shut up shut up bitch
Haiku # 66188, October 15, 2019 6:06 pm ET
by Line of lines
Trump is a tweeker
John Bolton is a leaker
So funny to watch
Haiku # 66187, October 15, 2019 11:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You need HIV.
It's a great way to lose weight.
Watch those pounds melt off.
Haiku # 66186, October 15, 2019 9:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Pro masturbation
That's the only thing I'll do
'Cause pro fucking sucks
Haiku # 66185, October 14, 2019 11:22 pm ET
by If this place is so boring, why do you keep coming back?
Procrastination.
That's the only thing this is.
When work fucking sucks.
Haiku # 66184, October 14, 2019 8:20 pm ET
by blah blah blah fucking blah
Twelve looks like eighteen.
Twenty looks like a fat cow.
Growth hormone beef franks.
Haiku # 66183, October 14, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by Mooooooooooooo. of How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.
I have two large cunts
on the bottoms of my feet.
Pussyfooters rule!
Haiku # 66182, October 14, 2019 8:12 pm ET
by Pardon the snail trails.
That's my daughter now.
Sunday dinners are awesome.
Potluck southern food.
Haiku # 66181, October 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET
by Proud father: rehearsals. of She never misses her line.
If you continue
As a piece of shit that will
Be your daughter soon

So many reasons
To be a good role model
You can start today
Haiku # 66180, October 13, 2019 6:27 pm ET
by Ghost of I See You
The best pornos are
eight black men, one fat white girl.
So many reasons.
Haiku # 66179, October 13, 2019 5:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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